God Knows What Matters To You

 What matters to you? How does God show up in ways that matter to you?

God Knows What Matters To You

Ever since I was a little girl playing on the Jersey Shore I have loved the ocean. I have loved the views. I have loved to look out and see across the skies. When I lived in Philadelphia we had lived in a row house. As a little girl I always thought we lived in a 5 story home. In reality it was three stories. On the 3rd floor we could take the screen off and sit on the roof and look out across the houses. We were not allowed to do this but my sister's and I did. 

God knows you. He knows what matters to you. There is a deep sense of peace, refueling, restoring, thoughtful praying and thinking that happen in the spaces I have with views. And it seems every where I go, most of my life, God gives me just that, a beautiful view. There have also been  moments of blessings on what mattered to me. Things that may seem silly to another person have been earth shattering wows!!!  WOW as in God Knows What Matters To Me. 

I had a business event in 2013 which had me in the Fox Network studio. I had the perfect outfit to wear to one of my first meetings and I wanted a harvest yellow pair of sandals. I went to Nordstrom. I went to Target. I went to Fred Meyer. Nothing. I could not find those perfect shoes. I stood in Fred Meyer and asked God, "Please God, direct me to these shoes. I know it's silly but I would really like  harvest yellow sandals."  I was scheduled to get my hair done the day before I had to leave for LA. I arrived at my appointment early and wandered over to the Thrift store. And as blessings would be in my life, there before my eyes the beautiful $5.00 Harvest Yellow sandals I had been looking for. God Knows What Matters To You!!

I was having this wonderful conversation earlier this week with one of my boys. He said, "Mom it seems that God always gives you what you want."  I was absolutely tickled that in his life he was accounting the times I had prayed for things and God delivered beautiful little moments and blessings. Praying happened on the way to school every single day. Thanking God and each kid going around and thanking God and then submitting our prayer requests. I had to remind him that God knows what matters to us and He has wonderful blessings and gifts. However it's not always the case. I accounted a few significant moments that God has me waiting on answered prayers. And he said, "Oh". That was it, "Oh". Then he said, "But really mom, pretty much God answers your prayers." 

This picture above, a beautiful sunset was a gift to my heart and soul. A beautiful sunset with trees. I was thinking about some hard things and I literally looked out and saw the gift of another wonderful view.  It was truly, in my world of knowing God, that comfort and peace from above. A view that means something to me. What matters to you?  Harvest Yellow Shoes? A beautiful sunset?  Standing at the edge of the ocean?  A powder blue Nike jacket?  Yes that happened, too. 

Okay here is the Nike jacket story. I went to the Nike store to get a new ski jacket. I was living in a colder climate and already had a nice ski jacket for skiing. But I wanted a jacket for every day wear in the cold cold weather.  I went to the Nike store and found this gorgeous Tiffany Blue puffy jacket. It was $449.00. It was not that I couldn't afford it. Being a mom of 5 kids I have always had a harder time buying things for myself when my kids were ongoing with needing this and that. Ugh!!  I passed it up. I literally told my business partner about the jacket. I told him that if God wanted me to have that jacket it would come my way. I admit I was obsessing about that beautiful jacket. My partner and I were running errands for a photo shoot. We needed a few old school phones. In my crazy Elizabeth way, I looked over at him and said, "That jacket is at this Goodwill. You will see."  He laughed and was like...okay.  There in the Goodwill, in my size, with the tags still on it that jacket. He looked at me and was shocked. $20.00 of evidence that God knows what matters. 

These things that we have, come and go. The shoes are gone, the jacket still a favorite and the sunsets are coming in on a regular basis. The reality is truly, "God Knows What Matters To You."  Do we have to look for it, at times? Yes. Does life happen and one day you wake up and realize that God made provisions in ways you never expected. 

We live in a world of focus on so many negative aspects of life. Turn it all around and start focusing on those little blessings that come daily. What matters to you?  What ways do you see God blessing you. Because I do believe that, "God Knows What Matters To You."

Have a wonderful day. With Love, Elizabeth

Starting To Blog Again

 I cannot believe how much time has passed since I put my thoughts out for the world to read. Or maybe the three or four people who come by. Let's just say it's been a whirlwind season of summer and family and friends. 

It's me, Elizabeth, just saying hello.

Since Covid put time with friends on hold I kept adding to my list of friends I would spend time with once we were all feeling safe and ready. My list kept growing as I would see a friends Facebook update or catch a picture streaming on Instagram. I would add their names to my list. As my list kept growing I realized how very blessed I am with wonderful friends. Even with months being away from each other we all still found time to view our social media streams to keep up. 

Fast forward to now. This moment at about 2:31am. Wide awake. I missed a Zoom meeting today. It was an invite from a Facebook group and I was looking forward to it. It turns out that I set my alarm for 11:55pm rather than 11:55am. And found that out after going to bed early and in a dead sleep my alarm went off. My body felt like it had a nice long solid nap so wide awake I am. It seemed like a good time to dust of the keyboard and start blogging again. 

I think I will take some time and clean up the blog, give it a facelift and go back to sharing life as it the days unfold.  In other news three cheers for feeling hungry at this hour.  Makes me wonder if am I normally hungry at this hour but I sleep through it or is it the power of suggestion as I am sitting at the dining table?

Enough middle of the night ramblings. Really excited to come here more often and chat my heart out. If you have read this in the last hour. Go back to sleep. That is what I am going to try to do. 

Love, Hugs and Blessings

Elizabeth

Emotions Stirred Up With Paint

 It was one of those weekends when it was a harder weekend then normal. Ever have one of those days then it turns into a few days? Yet you have  social functions so you put it all up on a shelf and work it out later. Recently I had one of those days. 

Some people eat their emotions. I try to paint mine out. Lord knows I have eaten my share of  emotions. However I am trying to redirect the need to eat fudge or chocolates. Which really a bite here and there is fine but this day required some stirring of the paints. Feeling blue in my heart, gray day and trying to find the light. What colors does that produce. Some blue, some gray, some black and some yellow and white. 

I started around 6:30am. It gets warm by early afternoon here in Palm Desert so starting early inspired me and I am fresh.  I love blasting the music and on this day is was the Lady Gaga station.  It took me over six hours to create these four pieces. I mixed, I poured, I sponged, I brushed. It was so therapeutic.  

"Emotions Stirred" by Elizabeth Traub

I wanted to create a series. With some pouring, some sponging, some passes with the paint brush this was to my delight something I love. As every artist knows it takes hours to complete a finished piece. There is always one more pass with the brush, and then the mistakes that require more brush strokes and then you stand back and either love it or scrap it. 

What was happening in my thoughts, my heart and my soul was deeper than I can write about as it involves my family. I am the mother of five, a daughter-in-love, and three more that my partner has. I love them all and am learning how to navigate the adult friendships unique to each of them. Friendships with grown children are not a one size fits all. They are growing, learning, as am I. I am truly blessed to have friendships with each one of them. 

During the six hours of painting I committed all nine of them to prayer. It thrilled my heart to be in thoughtful and intentional prayer. I know their stories. Their success, their challenges, and the struggles of adulting. I am so glad that I can play my small part in praying over each one of them through a creative outlet. 

Abstract Painting in Session

 

It was going to a be a hot day in Palm Desert. Still recovering from plastic surgery I am getting ants in pants.  I cannot not bike, swim, play tennis, or even swing a golf club. A friend of mine started sharing his painting pieces on Facebook.  He truly inspired me to jump back into painting. I started missing all my craft supplies in Oregon. In you are like me and love to craft you have bins and bins full of all kind of fun activities waiting to be created. 

Most of my painting over the years have been on furniture pieces and larger canvases to match my displays in my store. I started painting furniture in the summer of 1993 when I first opened my store. As with any new retail business your day is spent watching to see who is going to walk through your door. After a few slower days I bought paint and painted a stepstool pink with flowers. It gave me something to do instead of hovering over those customers coming in. Stepstools turned into canvas art that matched the room displays, which turned into painting large pieces of furniture

Last summer I bought all new paints, brushes and canvases for a summer camp where I would be, "The Craft Lady". With Covid camp was cancelled. Here I am a state away pining for some painting. I finally gave into Amazon and ordered just enough supplies to get me through the next few weeks of recovery. I woke up early, and started painting and just kept going. 

It was always easy to schlep what you made in your own store. Now, not having a storefront I am pretty sure I will be able to fill my own gallery by the end of my recovery. Especially since I just ordered more paints and canvases.  Gordon was kind enough to give me my own room.  That room now called my, Art Studio. This room is a semi outdoor art studio room to keep this mess of colors and canvases contained. 

I have always been an easy breezy creative gal. The funny thing about painting is that I actually could not master the paint and the brush at the Art Institute of Seattle in the 1980's. Because of that experience I thought I was a terrible and painter.  I loved all my classes but I dreaded my painting class. I learned very quickly that I could not connect my brain with the rules and specification presented for the class projects. My brain wanted to create my own art. However the goal was not to know yourself, but to know your future clients and be able to approach each project with your client in mind. I have a lot of energy and I could not concentrate on specifications presented to me in paintings.  That was over 35 years ago.  Once I took the time to learn my own style I enjoyed painting.  All my kids have been exposed to their share of paints and brushes. 

With my own style and with no specifications I found my groove. When I started painting custom orders for customers I did find my way to meeting my clients criteria. It's been years since I had my own store and the internet is a great way to get your products out to the world. I have had my Etsy shop now for a few years and all my pieces will be thrown up on the shop. 

I posted pictures on Facebook of these pieces. I was truly blessed by all the comments my friends made on Facebook. As I look at each piece I smile. Painting makes me happy. Painting is a quiet thought process of self expression. Painting is my connection with colors that make me smile and make me happy. I hope after looking at these pieces you are smiling and these pieces make you happy. 

Here is my etsy link if you want to purchase a print. 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/skiptomyroom

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Plastic Surgery Journey-Part Two

 How my plastic surgery journey was jump started all over again. 

At the start of  my 50's I asked myself what I might want to do for the second half of my life. I decided that serving and helping other people in a way that I could also make a little income. I could also committ more time to painting. All those paints and canvases were ready to be resurrected on a daily basis.  I would also be continuing in my design, marketing and consulting parts of my business.   

I also became a part time caregiver. As I began caring for a number of people I learned things about the human body and the inability people have to care for themselves with failing bodies. Women who were in good health, lean, having birthed a few kids, in their later years, carrying that same belly as I.  The problem is that they were not able to keep this area clean. Blistering, pharmaceuticals applied to prevent infection, Wraps, gauze and wound care for an area of the body that was easily infected and blistered.  I use to joke that I now had a care plan when I get old for caring for this part of my body. This experience got me thinking that I may want to consider getting that tummy tuck after all. 

In early 2020 I met with the plastic surgeon who was originally going to give me my "Mommy Makeover" 17 years ago. I asked him why insurance does not cover this procedure. I shared with him my caregiving experiences and the expense, discomfort and care later on in life for this area of the body. Now that I see the other end of life and the care needed I realized that more than ever I was going to take care of myself before others would have to care for me in my old age. 

I did my research and priced out the "Mommy Makeover" procedure. Not much had changed in 17 years except the price. I also decided that this time around I did not need to have a full mommy makeover. Just a tummy tuck. I also needed to have 4-6 weeks cleared off my calendar for healing and care. 

I consulted my care team. Gordon and my daughters. Their schedules and their time. In Palm Desert, CA the price was 1/3 less than Oregon. I found a clinic with a wonderful staff and a Dr. who did not shy away from my gazillion questions. The date was scheduled. As of writing this blog I am exactly one week post op. 

The following is a few pictures which tells a bit of the story of my Surgery day. Other blogs will follow of my healing journey.

I woke up on Wednesday March 10th 2021 and made sure I was bathed, hair washed, legs shaved and ready for the big day. Post surgery you can not bath (except a sponge bath the first two weeks).

Gordon dropped me off. My surgery was scheduled at 10am and expected to last about 4 hours. Surgery went well. The procedure is basically called an, "Extended Tummy Tuck" from one hip to the other. I was told by the nurse that when I was coming off the meds from surgery I kept crying and telling them, "You have to let me leave now. Gordon is waiting on the golf course for me. We have a tee time." Apparently I was crying my eyes out and kept saying the same thing over and over. I do remember the nurse telling me if I did not stop crying I could not go home. 

Gordon returned with his daughter, Atlanta to pick me up. The doctor gave specific instruction for my care for the next couple of weeks. Gordon and Atlanta got me home and tucked in bed. Atlanta later told me that I was crying and begging Gordon not to leave me. She said that Gordon said, "Where am I going to go? I am not going to leave you." My answer through all the tears was, "The kitchen."  Oh my gosh the medications they give you make you so silly and loopy. 

One important job the doctor gave instruction on was to change my drains every 4 hours. My first 24 hour care team covered me in TLC.  Here is Gordon taking the first shift for drains being cleaned. I am not kidding when I say that through all the loopy moments post-op this moment made me love him more. 

I have had so many people on my social media postings messaging me about these drains. Referencing that this seems like major surgery. Having your body cut in half from one hip to the other is basically more than just a magician act.  I had 5 and a half pounds of belly removed. You are on pain meds, antibiotics, vitamins to heal. Your body is fighting to heal and good care is a wonderful gift.  The drains remove all the excess fluids your body is producing. 

This precious girl, Atlanta, Gordon's daughter taking care of me. Seeing that all my needs were met from helping me calm down from crying and feeling scared to laying beside me, rubbing my head and telling me it was all going to be okay.  I think as I came off the meds the reality of what my body just went through hit me. Atlanta was this calming soul, with her sweet words to get me through those 1st 24 hours. 

I woke up the next day and thought, "What the heck did I do?"  Atlanta and Gordon shared their stories, we all laughed and I took this picture of day one, swollen, bandaged and drains hanging off of me. (Which I quickly learned how to conceal.) Managing the pain is repeated over and over by the doctor. As I write this blog one week post op I can say that I have done a great job, for the most part, managing the pain.  I am truly blessed by the people in my life who extend so much love and care for me. 

On the evening of my first day post-op my daughter flew in from Nashville, TN to take care of her mama. That will be new blogs to read and follow my journey. 

Plastic Surgery Journey-Part One

 JUNE 2005

There I stood buck naked in front a doctor taking the "before" pictures. I nervously laughed and said, "This is not exactly the kind of model I ever dreamed of being." It was my way of making light of an embarrassing moment in time. 

I was very proud of myself for being able to wear my bikini after only six weeks post partem with my 3rd baby. I ran, I swam, I played tennis, I swung a golf club, I biked, I road horses and I went to the gym at least three times a week. I remember in my 8th month of pregnancy on the tennis court and announcing to my Friday evening tennis partners that this had to be my last game. Playing tennis at 8 months pregnant was now to much. The baby was delivered and walks started, which lead to a few days back at the gym and wham back into my pre-pregnant clothes was pretty easy. Then Eric happened.

That 4th child pregnancy when all activities stopped. Good nutrition went out the door. But really out of my mouth as I could not keep ANY food down. No salad, no chicken, no fresh fruit. I was throwing up several times a day.  I remember the Dr. telling me I had to find something to keep down because after losing about 14 pounds the first 8 weeks of pregnancy this was not good. I could not even keep a prenatal vitamin in my belly. Now enter the fast food drive-through for the next 6-7 months.

It only took one Big Mac to know that I had no problem keeping fast food down. One afternoon I was sitting at the dinner table and announced that my arms were getting fat. I lifted up my arm and the fast food flab was setting in. Hallelujah by my 6th month of pregnancy I gained 23 pounds. Not so good. My first three pregnancies' I had not gained more than 23 pounds in an entire 9 months. Being the good student of pregnancy I was I found what my body could keep down.  Greasy fast food, ice-cream, cookies and cakes. I had been put on partial bedrest due to a prolapsed uterus thus eliminated all exercise, and my activity was limited to getting the mail, sitting in an office and walking to the bathroom or from point A to B. But I was happy to walk to the car and hit up the next drive through.  I can say with confidence that Eric was gestated on at least 3 BK Broilers a week, 3 Baskin Robbins Brownie Sundays a week, Nachos, and fries, and tacos. And there you have me gaining up to 65 pounds with Eric. Although I always say gained 80 pounds because that is what it felt like to me. 

All would have been well if he weighed 65 pounds at birth. Then the weight would be gone. But that little stinker only weighed in 9'6 which left me with over 50 pounds of pure fast food chub. And life with a newborn, and a deaf 2 year old and tweens did not allow for time back at the gym and biking, running and tennis were put on hold.  

I had my 5th pregnancy, only gained about 22 pounds, and lost that shortly after he was born but the residual weight from baby number 4 still stuck around. And my wardrobe became leggings and long oversized shirts to cover up my belly.  I was still me. I was not someone who lived in the insecurities of my body, nor did I have sobering body image issues. I accepted that my nice wardrobe no longer fit. I dressed frumpy with oversized this or that because it was comfy and easy. My personality did not change. I did not avoid big mirrors or the stories you read or hear about with women and poor self image. Most of my life I liked myself and just saw this extra tummy hang as something to accept and I did for years. 

Before my 5th child was born I was in front of the plastic surgeon taking the pre-op pictures. I actually calculated that it would cost more money to replace my wardrobe than to have plastic surgery. I had my 87 year old best friend with her guest room ready to care for me 2 weeks post opp. I had childcare arranged for all the kids and in June of 2005 I was scheduled on a Monday to have all that fast food, which landed dead center in my belly to be removed. 

The Saturday, back in 2005  I was running errands. While eating a late breakfast I realized I was chewing ice. I have never liked ice in my beverages. The only time I would chew on ice was when I was pregnant. After that meal I zoomed over to Fred Meyer and bought 3 pregnancies' tests. ALL tested positive.  All resulted in baby number 5, Emerson. And the cancellation of my scheduled, "Mommy Makeover" surgery. I cried and cried. I don't even have my ears pierced twice. I do not like bodily pain. It takes ALOT to work up to the idea of someone cutting across your belly. I never had a C-section with any of my pregnancies. This was going to be a big deal. And one pregnancy test put this procedure to a screaming halt.

With three busy little boys and busy teenagers there was never any time to really schedule this procedure again. In 2008 I decided to work out the extra weight issues on my own. I hopped back on the bike, I started walking,  running on a treadmill and doing all the activities that I love doing. Within a year I had dropped about 35 pounds. No special diets, just cutting out the foods that I did not need, and moving my body. What was left was nothing but blub on my belly. Let's be real here. If you have this kind of overhang you know first hand that on hot days, it get's sweaty and sometimes heat blisters in that area. It's not just a cosmetic alteration, it's better feeling all around. I was sad to not have the procedure but knew someday that day would come. Now on to part two of my "Plastic Surgery Journey". 

Journals From My Past Monday June 24, 1991

 Journals From My Past Monday June 24, 1991

Dear Father,

I am not sure there are very many mothers in Bellevue who can thank you and smile at the messes their preschoolers make. A valuable lesson was learned this morning. Bless Emily's heart and her sweet intentions to please...a few examples...

-carried bowl to counter after breakfast-big mess-she dropped it

-pushed a chair to sink to do dishes-water & suds EVERWHERE

-wanted to peel her banana-Banana all over the floor-I stepped on it.-

-pulled all her clothes out of the drawer to dress herself

Okay one important detail, this all occurred before 9:00am. My frustration level was beginning to peek, but a silent prayer for patience was quickly answered.-Thank you.

I enjoyed watching Emily work with me to clean-up each mess.  We did it together and togetherness is a valuable word in this family. Emily will continue to help out over and over and I will practice patience. That building up of my patience may be needed later down the road. 

So I smile in my heart and thank you sweet Jesus for answering my prayer and for the character in me you tenderly shape and mold

My prayer requests:

1. Elliot to have wonderful VBS experience

2. Increase my miles

3. Smile even when I don't feel like it.

Being a young mother is not easy. I truly believe that God showed up in the answers to my prayers. Those times when the messes seem unbearable I was able to call out to God and ask for that extra ounce of patience and I would feel a wave of peace and patience over me. Truly I am blessed to know that even today, some 25 years later I can still whisper a prayer of patience when I feel less patience.

I love you Jesus,

Elizabeth

Journals From My Past June 22, 1991

 Journals From My Past June 22, 1991

From my 26 year old self:

*Our TV broke-Amen and we haven't the $ to repair it or purchase a new one. Big Fat Smile. 

Romans 2: 5, 13

5. "But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath. When his righteous judgement will be revealed."

13. "For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous."

Dear Father,

I needed a small miracle tonight. A word from you concerning a conversation I had with myself and you earlier this evening. I have been confused with our relationship. I was not sure what to think. You see I'm a pretty nice person, I talk about you within a safe Christian zone and I really have allowed myself to believe that I am a good Christian with justifiable thoughts and actions. Romans 2 really unleashed on me. The words, "stubbornness" and "unrepentant" are where I stand solid. God I don't think I have anything to repent and if I did I'm to stubborn to admit it to you or anyone else.  And then verse 13, "hearing the law" yes, I've heard you laws-I think as "oppose to obeying the law" it seems in the past few years I've really slipped away from you because of my stubbornness and unrepentant heart and and practiced hearing your laws...and that is all. 

Now the difficult part. I pray dear Father that you would tear down my spiritual walls. Help me to look inside and allow your precious work to encompass me....please watch over Elliot & Emily. 

Love, Elizabeth

 As I read this I look at my spiritual struggle and how God's word is challenging me. My thoughts of being a nice person, did not cancel out what God could work in my life. Never did I think 25 years later I could read the words of my young heart yearning to know God. May we all find peace in our process. 

Journals From My Past January 4, 1991

Journals From My Past January 4, 1991

My 26 year old self wrote the following:

"We find a new hunger and thirst to spend time with Him and stay close to Him. It is through prayer that we see God's love and power at work in our lives and in the lives of the people for who we are praying. "

Discovering How to Pray by Hope McDonald

"You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him." St. Thereasa of Avila

Dear Father,

I want to learn about prayer in a special way. I am changing in different areas of my life. My excuse for not spending time with you has been fatigue, business, family etc. A funny thing happened last Thursday. I woke up at 6:15am. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to get out of bed, so I rolled over and picked up my Bible. I don't remember wheat I read but as I was reading Elliot walked in with sleepy eyes and a blanket dragging behind. He asked what I was reading. My response was......"Well Elliot, mommy is reading the Bible and it's so important to spend time with Jesus everyday and to talk with Him about everything." And Father a pit filled my already empty stomach.  Marc and I model our manners, values and are going our best to give Elliot & Emily the security and love they need but wow the most important thing in the world my relationship with with You and you have been put on the back burner. So please forgive me! Also forgive me for not being the example to Elliot & Emily and to Marc. Goodnight for now,

Love, Elizabeth

As I am reading the heart of my 26 year old self with a 2 & 4 year old I think about all the things that kept me so busy. Running a household, trying to be a wife and mother. God is in the middle of all of that. I remember being in a Bible study and being told that if I did not get up at the crack of dawn to spend time with God I was not a good Christian. Yet the message to my son was to include God in everything. I never did become an early riser. Nor did I spend time in God's word at the crack of dawn. God still carries us where we are at. He meets us where we are at in all the hours of each day. 

Notes From My Past

"Notes From My Past" is a title that lays down the groundwork for a year long series of blogs. Taken from almost 30 years from the pages of my journals. Life gives us experiences to write about. I do not know your life but my life has been about social interactions, social experiences, social events, and gathering with dear family, friends and colleagues on walks, talks and ideas to journal. Daily experiences springing up all over in my writing.  This past year virtual is the extent of our social experiences. Going to the grocery store less, no more walking into the coffee shops, or working remotely at your favorite spots. Even my daily walks, which included friends are limited to just family.  I am going to be honest. Nothing inspires to me write less than experiencing life through the loss of what was my normal. 

We are closing in on almost a year of this social distancing business. For the most part I do believe we all take it seriously. We wear our masks, we only shop for essential needs. We are watching church from our computers and we are shopping mostly online, meetings are through Zoom, and our face-time is the extent of our social experiences. 

I have my people. My people that I talk to more now than ever. My sister, my mom, my kids, and a few friends.  Our conversations are great but we are not talking about the trip we went on, or the events we attended or are looking forward to.   It's interesting year. 

I have wanted to blog heavily on dating. since I am single and about two years in to a dating relationship.  I laugh even at that as we are not dining out, or going on adventures here and there. We did when we first started dating but then Covid hit and I am sure glad I enjoy his company because most days we are together all day and I love being around him.  Last Spring I even shared our "Garage Date" which was my highest viewed story on Instagram of all time.  We basically went into the garage to fix gadgets on bikes. I put on make-up, perfume, and documented it as a "Garage Date".   It was fun.  I have journal entrees on this relationship and with the permission of Gordon I will also share. 

What are we writing about these days? I decided to look in on my past experiences.  I journal. I have about 28 handwritten journals that started when I was 14 years old. One thing I decided to do last Fall was to start in January taking a page from my life and sharing. I use to think that I should put these journals on my computer files but my kids were like, "Nooooo reading from the book is better." Some people talk about their life experiences. They process outward through conversations and stories. I have always (always=dating back to my 14 year old self) written out my thoughts and my process before coming to the conversations. I talk to God. This is my tangible experiences with God. Written conversations, prayer requests, the cries of my heart. Those deep intimate thoughts that come out in quiet times with my Bible, journal and a pen. Favorite pens. 

This year my blogging will be notes from my past. In no random order just as I am reading and processing. I had my sister read one big event that happened in my life. She had tears streaming down her face and said something like, "Why are you not writing a book." I guess my journals are my books. All 28 of them. With the time and space I am starting this project a few years earlier than expected. I thought I would start this project at 65 when I retired. Now with lots of extra time on my hands I am starting this month. 

Every Monday  & Thursday will be a new entrée. I look forward to sharing the, "Notes From My Past"

#notesfrommypast by @elizabethtraub.

Social Connections

Social Connections are very very very very important. I cannot type enough, "very" but it is true. 

I was at the ATM making a deposit. When I first drove up there was no one around so I did not put on a mask. Shortly after I started my transaction a woman walked up wearing her mask. She kept the safe distance and waited for me. 

After I finished she started talking to me. 

Shes said, "Hello there.  You have a beautiful smile."

At first I  though I was going to be shamed for not wearing a mask. Instead she told me that I had a beautiful smile. She said it felt so good to see a smile.  Her voice was sweet and kind.

Then she said, "Actually you are a beautiful woman."

I admit my heart soured. Coming off a week of work, feeling tired and exhausted, and this sweet masked lady connecting with me, a stranger. Why am I blogging about this today?  What is my point.  I told this sweet gal, "You are a delightful and joyful human. Thank you."  What she said next is beautiful.

She said, " We may be masked, and we may be ordered to social distance, but we do not have to stop social connecting."

I got into my car and smiled. I looked in my mirror and thought, "beautiful smile" indeed.  We have lost the smiles we see in people's faces with a mask. We are social distancing and involuntarily isolated for the fears of a virus. 

This woman inspired me. Social Connections are what we are born into. From the minute we are conceived, born, and life as we have known it our entire lives. 

Skype, Skype & Filled Refrigerator

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" 

"Date long distance. "

"I mean how have you dated successfully long distance?

I started this post last May while Gordon was still  living in another state. Shortly after I started he returned back to Oregon for several months, so our long-distance status ended temporarily. But alas he is back in CA so here it goes....

I

I  have been asked the question countless times,"How do you do it? Date long distance?"  I admit I had not really given much thought to the fact that Gordon and I had been dating long-distance successfully.  I do believe there are some key, intentional things that Gordon and I have done. However as a chatty woman trying to create an outline I thought, "why not ask Gordon."  I texted Gordon letting him know I would like to quote his profound wisdom in the success of our long distance relationship. I told him that he has loved and cared for me well. I asked what three things he thinks have contributed to our long distance relationship success. Here is his response.

Dear Readers, I am no relationship expert. I have mentored women for years on matters important to their hearts. With the number one topic being relationships. I think this one single text from Gordon can be a spring board for future success in your relationships, not just long distance. 

Here are some ways that contribute to a successful 

long-distance relationship based on my personal experience. 

I could not agree more with Gordon. I do want to add that before we were long distance we were in the same town for a few months when we first started dating. Prior to dating we had met in another town five years earlier and were friends in that town.  I may have crushed on him five years ago for a hot minute. We had our first real date five years later.   After a month of dating, Gordon asked if I would be his girlfriend. I was not sure how I would be able to do the long distance thing as he would go to a warmer climate during the winter months. We then went six months being long distance.  And I will be the first to admit it is not my first choice.  Here is what I do know.  We are still in this relationship over a year later. And our friendship has deepened through this process.  We are both intentional, which seems to come natural for us.  Here are some tested ideas for your long distance relationship.  

1. SKYPE

I had to giggle that Gordon would say Skype (face-time) as key to our success. It is not like we set up a plan or schedule. It just happened that way for us.  We started each day with face to face time.  Gordon is retired and I work. True Confessions...on most days I got up, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and put some lipstick on. After all we are dating. I always like to look my best in real face to face time. Why not digital face time. 

 What ever app you have available learn how to use your face to face time to start your day. 

Skype chats about the news 

I think I used Skype'd maybe twice in ten years before I met Gordon. I love that we developed the beautiful habit of talking to each other when we first woke up. Gordon is an early riser. He has always been respectful of my sleeping time.  When I would wake up I would text that I was awake, coffee in hand and ready for Skype. Every single morning, not a morning missed. (Which I had no idea we had not missed a morning. I went to my Skype log to see how often a week and it turns out daily.) I loved seeing his face, his smile, his positive energy and hearing his outward process of his plans for the day. Forty-Five minutes to an hour later we are chatting away. On days that I would be out the door early for work, I would set my alarm an hour earlier just to talk with him.  I admit for a gal who loves her sleep this was not easy.  On days that were more leisure he and I would watch the news together , shows, or just hang out. I have even given Gordon step by step cooking instructions in preparing meals via face-time. 

2. SKYPE

Skype, again, really?  Yes again and again as time during the day allowed.  I loved getting a Skype call after Gordon finished is long bike ride, or golf with friends or an outing with friends. I loved that I could share events of my day in the moment as time allowed on both our ends. We shared lunch dates, biking breaks, and even moments with no plan or significant meaning. 

Why is this time important?  When you are building a relationship with someone in real face to face time, you have to be intentional in balancing your life together. Sharing your life with that person, and in doing so you get to know that person.  For both Gordon and I a phone conversation and text here and there was not going to be enough. I have learned more about Gordon in our face to face time and hours and hours of conversations. This is an important relationship. 

Gordon told me that he read this article stating that most married couples spend less than 10 minutes a day in face to face conversation. I thought about that and laughed. I am pretty sure we clock about two hours a day when we are apart. 

We also end our days via Skype. Wrapping up our day together. It takes time, it takes being intention to learn and grow in the relationship.  Having quality time is important for both of us and if you know Gordon, and know me, we both of the gift of gabbing. 

Set realistic expectations of communication together and work together to meet that with each other. 

3. Investing in Monthly Visits

I expressed that I could not go months without seeing him. I knew in my heart that a long distance relationship was not my thing. Bless that man, he invested in bringing me monthly to come see him. It has meant the world to me to be able to take this time and have these visits. Take the time if you can. It was not easy for me. Gordon is retired and I still work. On my weeks home I would work extra hard to be able to take this time away. And to be honest working kept me busy and focused and distracted rather than pining for the man I love. I am in 100% agreement that,  "Absence does make the heart grow fonder."

4. 100% Trust

Every person I have talked to who had long distance relationships said the hardest part of a long distance relationship is trust. It turns out that when I did on online search, many blogs state the same. I get that. I understand that.  I have learned in ALL relationships regardless if near or far if you do not trust your partner then you are with the wrong person. DO NOT MAKE UP STORIES in your head. When they don't text back, or answer your calls in a time frame you have an expectation of. DO NOT MAKE UP STORIES if you do not know their where about at any given moment. 

I reached out to four gals about what ended their long distance relationships.  They ALL expressed TRUST being the single ONE BIG issues that affected their relationships. And when they lost touch, didn't get a text or call back their minds took them down a path of distrust, destruction, and accusations. No! No! No!

Your person has a life away from you.  Gordon has a life away from me. Gordon, like me, is friendly  and kind to everyone. He has a long list of many friends that were there long before I ever stepped into his life.  I trust him.  I am not a slave to my phone. Sometimes we miss each other's calls.  In most cases the trust issues come from damage from previous relationships. Ask yourself where that pang of distrust is coming from. Then do the work to heal that. However projecting that onto your partner will only damage the relationship and turn you into a lunatic driving yourself cray-cray from the stories created in your head. 

Trust the relationship. Trust your person.  And if you learn something unfavorable about your partner through facts then address the issues. I have heard to many stories of the "possible scenarios" or "what if he"  or "I just know he...."  It is easy to get into your head that something is going on away from you. I imagine how hard that is. I have had to overcome some trust issues from my past. However I worked those out with my sister when I was feeling insecure. I could identify where those insecurities came from. From my past. Not from any one experience with Gordon. Find a person to process outward when you are experiencing feelings of distrust that have nothing to do with your partner. 

We live in world that makes it very easy to conceal, hide, and promote distrust. Do not allow your hearts and mind to get sucked into that. 

5. Refrigerator

I literally laughed

If the way to a man's heart is a good meal. Then why not make several meals. I will never forget hearing Gordon tell his brother about the wonderful meal I had made him. And from that day on I learned that this mans loves a good home cooked meal. If good food was a love language it is definitely one of Gordon's. The last day of each monthly visit I would make up about six dishes, some to freeze and some that would last in my absence. I quickly learned that he and I had the same pallet for sauces, and salads and good home cooking. Being a mother of five children I made great efforts for sit down to home cooked meals while my kids were growing up. Yay now a man who loves the same !!!!  Feed your man well. 

In closing I want to thank Gordon for allowing me to share a bit of our personal story. Relationships take being intentional in how you love and care for another person. It's important to learn what the other person wants or needs in a relationship early in the dating experience. Ask questions so you can then serve and care the way your person knows you are in this.   Have a happy & wonderful day.

If you would like to chat, you can reach out to me in a PM via Instragram @elizonthego.

Take That Box Of Hard Down And Deal With It.

I am an eternal optimist. Go ahead smack me. I cannot help myself. Many years ago while going through a very hard situation my dad actually challenged my disposition. It was hard. I could admit that. It was also my choice to not bow down to the hard, and not to camp in hard. Put that hard on the shelf, go enjoy the day, make another's day good. Then take that box of hard down and deal with it.

Well folks. My cheery optimism has been getting harder and harder. And this time it is not my hard. It is watching, reading, and talking to friends and family who have so much hard right now. I am a born "Empath"  Here is the definition.

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. Psychologists may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense.

I have, over the years, learned how to NOT take on the pains of others. I learned how to ask questions and guard my heart because it's easy for me to become consumed with others in their hard stuff. I know at times I have come across as being disconnected, but I have learned to listen, ask questions, allow someone to have their outward process and protect my own empath heart. 

This past week, the stories are endless of the struggles are so many facing. I have cried many tears this week on behalf of others.  Those close to me, my neighbors, friends and the countless stories on social media. Today I asked God what I could do with my limited resources. Today I told Gordon if I had all the money in the world I would write cashier's checks to those in my community. He asked why I would not just Venmo them. I said, "Because I would not want anyone to know it was me. I would just want them to believe that someone was watching out for them."  Today it is writing five Easter cards to strangers. A sweet gal at our church connected with a Senior Home and was able to get first names. Then asked if we all might consider writing Easter Cards. I chose five names. 

I guess the title of this post may see a little harsh. "Take that box of hard down and deal with it."  How are you dealing with it? Today I am writing notes to people I will never meet in hopes that I may brighten their Easter. I am also planning great meals for my family and gathering around the table daily to serve them. Today I did not get mad when someone used the kitchen to bake cookies and did not clean up. I just cleaned up thinking that in this hard season what can I do to make this less hard for others?

Taking my box of hard down and dealing with it in ways that might make someone else's hard a bit easier. This is hard. This is very hard. And I will not minimize what we are all experiencing together. Guess what friends? Together is the word. We are all experiencing this together.   And together we can all take that box of hard down and deal with it together. Dealing with it one day at at time. One heartache at a time. Truly with love for each person who reads this if you have to many boxes of hard to deal with. Ask for help. 

Allow someone else to carry the burden. I love this passage. If there is anything, within my resources and power, that you need please reach out to me. I can help sort out that box of hard and help you deal with it. 

Galatians 6: 2"Carry one another's burden; in this you will fulfill the law."

Beautiful Things for Today

I took this beautiful walk in Palm Desert this past week and these are the beautiful things for today. While the nation is under quarantine I have the complete joy and blessing of being in a beautiful place. Life does not feel any different today than it did a month ago. Having already had habits of being home, kids home-schooling, and being somewhat of a food hoarder anyway has had no ill-affect on our family.  I have been dong lots of walking. On this particular walk I decided that rather than just walk past all the beautiful gardens and flowers I would actually stop and study them.

I have never been that person who can identify the flowers. My sister Marantha and my close friend Amanda can identify any plant I have ever come across. As I sit in the morning cool air, a hummingbird close by, and the birds all singing their own tunes I reflect on yesterday's walk and it's beauty. In times of uncertainty, a deadly virus and economically hard times I find I can weather it all by looking for the beautiful things for today.

While I was walking and snapping pictures of so many beautiful flowers. This song came onto my Pandora. I just started crying. Because the words are amazing to the culture of our world. Take a moment to listen. Close your eyes and listen to the words.

Beautiful Things by Gunger

https://youtu.be/1spkhp41ig4

After listening and continuing my walk I just felt this overwhelming sense of peace.  A crisis gives us time to reflect and we have a choice. To wallow in fear and uncertainty or to look at what is in front of us and the beautiful things. Nature, and the beautiful humans in our lives.  Enjoy the photos below from a lovely walk. 

Why Are People Treating Me This Way

Be strong mighty women. Establishing healthy boundaries with people is not always easy. The reality is often we do not even see that we have allowed our personal space and boundaries to walked all over until we are feeling abused and used. We then feel angst towards the other person or the circumstances.

When I was 24 years old I was feeling a bit abused and used. To the point that I decided to meet with a church counselor and ask her questions about my character. This particular woman new me well.  I felt safe to expose my insecurities, my feelings and ask the, "why" questions.


  "Why are people treating me this way?" 
"Why am I the one at fault when a friend is mad because I cannot show up for their event?"  "Why do I have phone messages of someone upset because I did not return a call within a two hour time frame as the caller needed?" 
"Why does this person not contribute when inviting them join a family vacation?" "Why?"


What I did not realize is that I was perpetuating unhealthy boundaries with people. What I had hoped this counselor might say is that I was terrible at choosing friends and the problem was them not me. Instead what she said changed the trajectory of every friendship moving forward. She taught me how to have healthy and acceptable boundaries with people. I laughed when she said something like, "You get to choose how to train the habits people will develop in your life."  She also said something like, "People will always treat you the way you allow them to treat you."

I was raising my young family, running a business and my time was limited. I could not drop what I was doing to run to the side of someone who needed me. My family came first. I had to learn how to communicate that.  My dad said once that, "people like to choose busy people because they appear to get a lot done."  I was busy and often called on for many tasks within my network of friends. I had to be okay saying no. And if the other person walked away upset I had to accept that.

What happened over the next year was new friendships in my life happened. There was a mutual respect in the friendship. I could answer and work through the questions I had. The other interesting thing that happened, and I admit a bit painful, was that I lost friendships. Once I started establishing boundaries those who I allowed to take and take from me could no longer take from me and they went away.

"Why are people treating me this way?" 

Because I allowed it. I did not know how to speak up and feel confident in my voice. I learned how to articulate what my boundaries might be. What my time might look like or might now allow. How were people treating me?  Putting expectations on my time. Getting upset when I could not show up. Because after a long day of running a retail business, and doing homework with the kids, and making a sit down dinner I had nothing left to give .  I learned when accepting invitations to keep the door open by saying, "I'd love to be there, however often my evenings out are dictated by how the day goes at the store, and how my kids homework load looks."   I would let people know the afternoon of......when or if I could attend. By establishing healthy communication up front the expectations and disappointments were gone. And friends changed. And friendships came along with people who understood and valued that my family and my business were a priority.  And that I actually am a very loyal friend. 

"Why am I the one at fault when a friend is mad because I cannot show up for their event?" 

I have always lived in a socially charged world. Being the middle of five kids, having my own five kids, and having the energy of 5 people has served me well. When I met with this counselor and asked her this question she threw her head back and started laughing. I was so confused. And then these words came out of her mouth,
"You are so much fun and bring so much to any party of course your friends will be disappointed."

I looked at her confused. She went on to share a weekend, when she and her husband were guests on a vacation with my family and a few other families. She reminded me how much fun we all had and the countless belly laughs. She reminded me of how I just effortlessly cooked for everyone and never asked for anything.

"Elizabeth, you are a doer and that is you." I share this because there are many of that have the DNA of being a doer and a giver.

People will put expectations on you.  This comes back to establishing boundaries up front. Just this past week wanting so much to come alongside a dear friend. Having to establish that my time is tight and I cannot be or do what she needs. The 24 year old Elizabeth would have shown up or cut the time short and the result would not have been good with this friend.

The next time you are frustrated by anyone who seems to have taken advantage you just remember this....you allowed it.  We can establish healthy boundaries is the sweetest and kindest of ways. If not you are going to be asking yourself, "Why are people treating me this way?"

We Need Each Other

Let me just start that I am feeling a little spoiled being in quarantine with this view outside the window of Gordon's home in Palm Desert. I struggled with the decision to come. This trip was planned weeks ago. But then the title of this post is, "We Need Each Other" and even in our relationships and the Coronavirus we need to do what we can to be safe and nurture those important relationships.

It is a basic human need to be in community. We Need Each Other!! A few weeks ago, before all the Coronavirus news,  there was an alarming day for me. There were events that happened that brought me back to a time in my past that was difficult and hard.  I am pretty springy. I have a moment of sadness, embrace it and then bounce back to being that happy girl. On this particular day the weight of sadness, fear and anxiety overwhelmed me. The people that love me came around and cared for me in the best ways that I needed. I was pretty blessed to have these people on this day because I needed my people.

I also received four phone calls that day. Calls from my sister, my daughter, and two friends. Calls to just chit chat and ask how I am doing.  There were many moments on this day that I just could not help thinking how much we need our people. How we need to go back to talking to each other, hearing our voices, and having that important face to face time or ear to ear time.

Now fast forward to today. A nation under orders to be in quarantine status.  It is my turn. My turn to listen. My turn to ask questions, "How are you?  What do you need?" My turn to look at my phone list and check in with my people.

In talking to my daughter after the Nashville Tornado. Her experience of hearing the Tornado alarms and realizing there was little time. She had a neighbor call her telling her to run fast to their house and get in their basement. Scary and frightening and still recovering from those events.  Friends sent home from their jobs and kids home from school. Then another friend struggling in a relationship.  Making calls and checking in because we need each other.

As we all settle into these next few weeks, we can use our technology options to stay connected. To write, to outward process to share the incidentals of the day. We Need Each Other.  We are a resourceful bunch and what we have to give may not be in dollars, but we can give our words of encouragement, we can listen to the struggles another is facing and yes, if you have extra give a few rolls of toilet paper.  We can each do our part because at the end of each day, We Need Each Other.

You Are Loved

It was a rock painting day. The mood of the day was to do something different. Turn off the news and enjoy the day. Our world is pretty much under quarantine due to the Coronavirus.  I am already use to being home having worked remotely for well over 15 years. I love to have the news on during the day but not this day. I turned it off.

I could not watch another doom and gloom story. So I decided to paint rocks. River rocks are perfect for painting. In a few short hours I would be getting into an UBER and heading to the airport to see Gordon. As the clocked clicked closer to my UBER arriving I painted this. I panted three of these. I thought I would give one to the UBER driver if he was married, to give to his wife. It turned out that the UBER driver was married and he brought up how much he loves his wife. I think when I asked if he was married he may have thought I had different ideas. I embraced his love of his wife. Then handed him this rock and said to put it on her pillow. He cracked up laughing and said he would never forget this UBER ride.

I also made one for Gordon and packed it in my bag.  I was pulled out of line by TSA.  They had found something in my bag. Before going through my bag they gave me a full body search. Rubber gloved hands inside the bands of my pants and under my breasts and all long the seams of my pants. All because there was something detected in my bag. What was detected was this painted rock.   It took three TSA personal to determine if I could keep the rock. They were wavering and as they deliberated I informed them that hair dryers are more dangerous. That in less than 5 seconds a passenger could be strangle by the cord of a  blow dryer. And aim with a blow-dryer when striking a blow would more damaging than a rock. Needless to say they were not humored. However if did make them think and they did hand me back my precious rock. Since I had their attention I asked them all what they might remember from this incident. No one answered. So I showed them the rock, smiled and said, "You Are Loved".

If there is anything you remember about this post it is simply stated, "You Are Loved". If you don't feel it or know then go love on someone and pass this message along.