Take That Box Of Hard Down And Deal With It.

I am an eternal optimist. Go ahead smack me. I cannot help myself. Many years ago while going through a very hard situation my dad actually challenged my disposition. It was hard. I could admit that. It was also my choice to not bow down to the hard, and not to camp in hard. Put that hard on the shelf, go enjoy the day, make another's day good. Then take that box of hard down and deal with it.

Well folks. My cheery optimism has been getting harder and harder. And this time it is not my hard. It is watching, reading, and talking to friends and family who have so much hard right now. I am a born "Empath"  Here is the definition.

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. Psychologists may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense.

I have, over the years, learned how to NOT take on the pains of others. I learned how to ask questions and guard my heart because it's easy for me to become consumed with others in their hard stuff. I know at times I have come across as being disconnected, but I have learned to listen, ask questions, allow someone to have their outward process and protect my own empath heart. 

This past week, the stories are endless of the struggles are so many facing. I have cried many tears this week on behalf of others.  Those close to me, my neighbors, friends and the countless stories on social media. Today I asked God what I could do with my limited resources. Today I told Gordon if I had all the money in the world I would write cashier's checks to those in my community. He asked why I would not just Venmo them. I said, "Because I would not want anyone to know it was me. I would just want them to believe that someone was watching out for them."  Today it is writing five Easter cards to strangers. A sweet gal at our church connected with a Senior Home and was able to get first names. Then asked if we all might consider writing Easter Cards. I chose five names. 

I guess the title of this post may see a little harsh. "Take that box of hard down and deal with it."  How are you dealing with it? Today I am writing notes to people I will never meet in hopes that I may brighten their Easter. I am also planning great meals for my family and gathering around the table daily to serve them. Today I did not get mad when someone used the kitchen to bake cookies and did not clean up. I just cleaned up thinking that in this hard season what can I do to make this less hard for others?

Taking my box of hard down and dealing with it in ways that might make someone else's hard a bit easier. This is hard. This is very hard. And I will not minimize what we are all experiencing together. Guess what friends? Together is the word. We are all experiencing this together.   And together we can all take that box of hard down and deal with it together. Dealing with it one day at at time. One heartache at a time. Truly with love for each person who reads this if you have to many boxes of hard to deal with. Ask for help. 

Allow someone else to carry the burden. I love this passage. If there is anything, within my resources and power, that you need please reach out to me. I can help sort out that box of hard and help you deal with it. 

Galatians 6: 2"Carry one another's burden; in this you will fulfill the law."

Thanking God FOR the Little Things

Do you take the time to notice the small things God does in your life? Today is the start of thanking God for the little things. After my last blog which you can read here https://elizabethonthego.blogspot.com/2018/05/set-me-in-large-place.html I really wanted to just expand on this one event in my life. Because it is the BIG ways God answers our little tiny prayers. And if we sit back and really start thinking of the details of every day life, you soon realize just how present God is in how He answers prayers.

Let's talk about this car. Four years ago I needed a four wheel drive. It was the end of the first season's snow and ice that came early. (Notice the curb is still showing signs of a snow melt. ) I had already had one snowy icy winter in a small community along the Columbia Gorge. I had a van with only rear wheel drive. Lots of hills and lots of snow and ice. I was living out on a farm and the black ice and snow are dangerous in these parts. A 30 minute drive to work, turned into over an hour crawling through snow and ice.  I remember thinking if I have to go another winter in snow and ice with this car, my van, I am going to be house bound. And the memory of a 45 minute slow slide down my driveway in what felt like 10 feet of snow and ice still lingered. (By the way the telephone pole DID NOT win that day.) I started praying. I was a new single mom and had to really watch my financial resources. I had no clue how to buy a used car. As in no clue.

I went car looking. Looking at used SUV's. I was told that you "never" buy brand new. Since I have my cars for more than ten years at a time I was out in left field with no mitt. (That is for you Ethan if you are reading.) I started praying.  I remember thinking, "God do you bless people with cars?"  "God if you really love me, please make it a nice safe car." "God I know you love me and I am sorry for trying to challenge your love but really a four wheel drive, pretty please." "And leather, and a white car, and FOUR WHEEL DRIVE." I kind of felt like that teenage girl who prayed and asked God for four boys and a girl when I grew up. I mean really, He did answer that prayer, why not a car prayer?

After car shopping and feeling even more stressed out I went to my store (Skip To My Room). Lauren, my employee asked me how the car shopping went. I slunked in my chair and said you can pretty much plan on opening the store everyday as I will not be driving in. Of course I was joking but car shopping with stressful. And sales people make you think they could put you in a Bentley today. And I really was content with my current vehicle. It was the bomb-diggity and great for all the hauling of products for my store, but sheesh. When I bought that car I admit I knew nothing about cars, I had no idea that not all cars are not four wheel drive. As an adult all my previous cars were four wheel drive. I will never forget about 12 years ago when I bought the van, I took the boys to Pacific City. I went to drive down onto the beach, and it bottomed out. Luckily some muscle dudes came and pushed me out. One guy said, "You might not want to be driving your two wheel drive onto the beach." I looked at him puzzled. I had only had the car for a few months. Driving around the Portland area does not require four wheel drive. I told him that I am pretty sure my car is four wheel drive, after all it was a big van. He looked in on the dash and around the steering column and confirmed that it was wheel rear drive, two wheels.  Okay. we can't all be knowledgeable about everything. LOL

Later that afternoon, feeling defeated about car buying,  Gordon walked into my store. Good Ol' Gordon and I worked on a business project together. He was older and wiser. About 15 years older than me and I may have referenced his age with wisdom when I started the conversation on car buying. Gordon often stopped by to visit, chat about business strategies, shooting the breeze on finance on business. I loved talking with Gordon. Being older and wiser I asked him about car buying and used car buying. I told him that I was actually talking with God ALOT about this process, and really needed an angel in human form to help me out. Gordon asked me what I was looking for. I told him exactly what I needed in a car. I told him that it would be a bonus blessing if it was white and leather seats, as a car full of boys would fair better. He listened intently. He asked me what my budget was. I told him.

Then he said, "Come with me". Come with me, as in get in his car and let's take a ride. I actually thought he and I were going to car lot row just down the street. As we drove, he said he had just put his "other" car on Craigslist.  I kid you not, we drove to his house. He opened his garage and there was this big white SUV.  He went inside and got the two sets of keys. Handed them to me, and said drive it around. If it suits you, keep it and we can work out the details of payment. He told me the price, which was out of my budget, and then he continued to say that he would cut his asking price in half to accommodate my budget. I drove it for five minutes, called him and said I will take it.

It has been four years since the blessing of this vehicle landed into my life. We are a road tripping family. The car had about 70K miles on it when it was turned over into my care. This past month it turned over 200K. And it still running beautifully. ( One thing my daddy taught me, oil changes, maintenance and good tires. CHECK!!)

Last night I was driving home late with the boys from a BBQ. I thanked God for this car. All I could think about is how God gives us good gifts. If we took a day to really think about what He orchestrates on our behalf it is never a coincidence. And a white car with leather seats. He knows our hearts and our desires and He Masterfully puts the universe in order. In His time and in His miraculous ways. There are many situations that go without resolve. And if I am being honest I get frustrated with God. Asking the "why's". When I start down the path of "why" I quickly adjust the course of thought to the many ways HE has blessed my family. I turned towards thanking God for the little things. Believe me, a car is NOT a little thing. It seemed trivial at the time as I had a good working car.


A few years back I thought I would take a year to blog, every single day of how God has blessed me. I wanted to thank God for the little things.  I think, as writers and story tellers, there is a tendency to wait for the BIG moments or stories. What about those small ways that have HUGE significance? A day does not pass with me thanking God. Even in hard or difficult times and moments, the minute the tears dry I am thanking God. Thanking God for the little things.

Stay Tuned because my inventory of little things in more than a million in my life time.

"Set Me In A Large Place"

I love writing out scripture. When I was in high school I started my first journal at the age of 14.  I have been writing ever since. I use to think of the countries that did not allow Bibles. I thought, in my youth, that if I wrote out scriptures in my journal then it would not matter if my Bible was taken.

Clearly that has not happened. Thanking God for that. However I still write out scriptures as I go along in my daily time with God. Today I was chuckling over this passage. It was my favorite for today's reading and I wrote it out. I will typically write out the verses that are my favorite for the day. Today it as Psalm 118: 5-6

" From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me. I will not fear. What can man do to me."

I do not think God expects us to be deep theologians with deep study into the scriptures for His words to speak to our hearts.  When I read this I immediately thought of where I live. I think of how God knows my heart for nature.  He knows my heart for being in the country. And here I am sitting sipping the mornings coffee on a beautiful farm. It looks more like three mornings of coffee here at my desk. Is this the large place He has set me in?

In reading this passage "set me in a large place." I could not help but think...what is that large place?  Where exactly has God put me?  And how does this passage reflect my heart today? Two years ago I prayed that God would provide some very specific things in my life. It seemed that my prayers were bigger than life. I am a dreamer. God designed me that way and when I look at scripture and how He has answered prayers. It is pretty hard to not sit back, drink coffee, read these passages and just smile.

Living on a beautiful farm is that "large place" for me. I was looking for a place to finish raising my boys. A single mom, wanting to provide space that would bring fun, joy, and work to my boys. I had no clue to even know where to start looking. And I just prayed. I lived on a beautiful farm in The Dalles and my heart yearned for that again. My boys loved the wide open spaces, too. And then to read that "the Lord is for me." I had to write these scriptures out today. Because truly the Lord is for me. And He is for you. I have called upon the Lord ALOT in the past two years. When we call on God, we can expect that he will see that His will is being done as we seek to know His heart. I had no idea what God had planned. One evening of God pressing on my heart to attend a friends event at her house, her farm, her family being raised in this beautiful place that the boys and I always loved to visit. One summer about 12 years ago, we came for a visit. No one was home, so we set up a picnic in their Orchard. Emily brought her violin, Emerson as about 4 months old, the two other boys toddlers playing. I remember praying that someday God would bless me with a property like this. I had no idea that this orchard would be the view from the kitchen window 12 years later. Here we live in this "large place".  Almost two years now. Eric was 2 years old and now a teenager playing in the same orchard.

I have had to overcome some very big fears in the past two years and even in a conversation yesterday, this sweet gal telling, "girl you have got courage, you have it in you."  I laughed and said that it was ALL an act of God. Through Christ Jesus and his promises, we ARE that person. Why?  Because the Bible tells us so.  So now that you have these two passages of Biblical wisdom how are you going to face today?

There is going to sad days, days of pain, days of uncertainty, days of just stress that we have no control over. What is your large place?  Actually another "large place" is my car. No, really my car. It's big and it is still running and it is easy to load up and take the kids on road trips expanding our large places. Even in the little things God has set aside a larger space. Step into that space with confidence that no matter your situation or circumstances "The Lord is for me" which also means you. Love & Cheers

P.S. You can find more fun pictures and comments with this hashtag. Each time I share a picture I try to remember this #farmlifewithcones

 

Professional ON

Last night I sat at dinner with the boys. We have this Mexican restaurant which is a favorite. They had lots to share after spending the day with their big brother and sister-in-love. I listened, asked questions and then asked them, "What did you learn today?  Did you learn anything new today?"  I admit it was the opening of a topic I wanted to share. I wanted to tell them what I learned. And in telling them I believed it would give some clarity to having a working mom.

I added this picture as this picture as a calming image of what it means to refuel.

For my entire life, and I do mean my entire life I have been told over and over that I have the energy of 5 people. And because I have been told that I always had grace for those who could not keep up with me. I thought, maybe there was something to my diet. I eat well. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that I typically get 8-10 hours sleep, which refueled and charged me up I thought maybe because I outwardly process life, schlepping of the stresses of the day. I have had many people actually ask me, "How do you have so much energy?"  I have said, "no" to anyone who ever wanted to sell my nutrition products. Because they boast that you will have more energy, sleep better and have improved health. I rarely get sick and have enough energy, and sleep well so I took a pass.

However I learned something very important this past week. It actually took me about ten months to learn this, but it was like BAM-BAM over my head. I finally understood. And as I began to share with my boys we all sat quiet and it made sense to them as well as I explained the "Professional On". 


I am going to start by telling the story of my first born son, Elliot. When he started school he loved it. He made friends easily, he had the typical struggles of learning, but once mastered built his confidences. Every day when he came home from school he went to his room. This rambunctious boy would sit at his desk for 1-2 hours every day and quietly build and play with his Legos. I would ask if he was okay. His father and I worried that maybe there was something going on at school. Yet Elliot was content. Then one day I did the parent helper in classroom thing. And I, as a first time mother, experienced the kindergarten classroom. After two hours of time helping out in class, I had to go home and sit on my bed in absolute quiet for an hour. As I lay on my bed, it hit me and I began to understand Elliot. Elliot made sense. He was in the environment 7 hours a day. He had to be "on" for seven whole hours. A six year old boy had to be on five days a week, six hours a day. I could not even handle two hours.  It was also after that day I thanked God for the decision to keep my kids out of daycare. To be in a room full of people every single day made me feel overwhelmed, and disturbed my mental piece.

As a business owner I have always had the blessing of having really good employees. Even as I began to wind down the brick and mortar of Skip To My Room I had good people working for me. ( Shout out to Lauren, McKenzie, Fred and Emily) People think as an entrepreneur you are running 24/7.  That was not me at all. I had my calendar and I scheduled meetings in blocks of time that allowed for lots of down time between meetings. Sometimes 2-3 days of down time. If I was working in my store. I may have been there from 10am-6pm, the store's hours, but I had people to cover the showroom, and at any given time I could go into a private office, close the door, kick my feet up and refuel. There were many days I would call into the store, ask how the day was going, and decide to work quietly at home. I was not "on" all those working hours. I could come and go as I pleased and even end the day at noon if I was feeling like it. Believe me I thank God every single day for the kind of business that allowed this, because I was able to leave, pick kids up from school and be done. If I decided to work at 10pm, a quiet house, kids in bed I could do just that.

What people never saw in me was that down time. Daily taking time to get away, be in a quiet space and refuel. As I reflect back over 28 years of being an entrepreneur there were many times of marathon working, but there was an end to projects. My kids have the fondest memories, as they tell me, of eating pizza and renting movies as I worked in the showroom after hours.  As a consultant you show up for the meetings, or the business trips, but always an end. And then days to refuel and regroup because I managed my own schedule. Being home with children all day is not the kind of "being on" I am talking about. I could decide to crawl out of bed and sit in the middle of the playroom with a cup of coffee while toddlers are using me for a human jungle gym. And still not be that "professional on". 

Yet in all my years I never understood where my mental and physical energy came from. And it was just this week I was able to put the pieces together.

For the past 10 months I have had a job commitment. Daily "Professional On". That job owns me about 30 hours a week. I have to be "ON" 6 hours a day. What is the result of that being "on"? I come home and crave quiet. I mean the sit quietly and refuel my brain. And I am exhausted as in tired like I have never been. The emotional and intellectual part of my brain is 100% on for six full hours daily. Oh sure I have had many many days of being tired after a long day. Traveling and putting on events for clients is typically a full four days and long hours commitment. But then you go back to your hotel room, and you sit in quiet. You order room service and you refuel for the next day. After the event, the meetings, the fast pace you are back on a plane and home. Kids go off to school and you have an entire day of being quiet, refueling and having that down time, or "off" time. This is what people never saw in me. That down time. That off time. Doing things that bring me balance. Like crafting, or wandering through antique or thrift stores, or reading. Reading 3-5 books a week.Being home, in the quiet of a house while children are in school.  There was no "Professional On" during these times.

This has been a brand new experience for my children. Mom is tired at the end of her work day which ends early afternoons. This mom has been "on" for six straight hours daily. I love my job. I mean I have been over the top blessed with this job and no one thought I would last 3 minutes with a long term commitment given my foot-loose and fancy free life-style. It is a new season in my career. And I love my work, but being on daily, every single day, six full hours has shown me something I was not even aware of. It had me reflecting back to my first son, and his coming home after being "on" all day at school and needing to take time to be alone, refuel, and a break from human interactions.

My kids have always had a mom with an abundance of energy. I was able to manage and balance my "on" and "off" times around my kid's schedule. When picked up from school, I may have put in a full day of work, but during that day there were many moments of down time for refueling. Thus allowing the after school activities with kids to be tackled with bursts of happy and positive energy.

I drove home from work yesterday and I started crying. Crying for every single mama I have ever known who worked a full 8-10 hour job and then picked up kids from daycare and had to still give as much as they had left to their kids. I can honestly say I could never have done that. I chose to keep my kids out of daycare. Having my own business has always allowed that. I could drop them off at school, work during their school hours, and be done whey I picked them up. My kids are older now. They are now experiencing the mom working away from home and coming home tired. As teenagers their need for me is different. They want me to sit and listen to their outward processes of their day, their thoughts and their ideas. I can sit and listen, and as I sit quietly I am secretly refueling. No diapers to change, or no feedins in the wee hours with a baby. How on earth do single moms work all day and come home to young little humans who need help with a sippy cup?

As we sat through our dinner, we talked about how they feel after being in situations where they are "on". Now being home-schooled, life is.... "easier and less stressed" "I feel like I can take my time and am really learning" "It's not that I did not like the people in my class, but most of them I would never choose to be around" ......and after all these years it made sense to all of us. Being "ON, the "Professional On" day in and day out is hard. No matter what age you are. Imagine right now being in a room with 20-30 people five days a week 6-8 hours a day. Whether your kids are in daycare or school, that is what they experience. I could not do that. I mean I am honest in saying, no matter how much I love people I could NOT do that.

Even with a job commitment I have been able to orchestrate my "off" time and my kids love it. I may not be watching the baseball game, but while one kid is watching baseball on TV I am just sitting and quietly refueling and having some kid bonding time. I now understand why my friends, who work full time, are keen on a night in rather than going out. The emotional energy it takes every single day is not one that I had never experienced until working daily for another person.  Not even a full day. My bosses are great. I can take an a break any time I want. They have said, "Where do you get all this energy?" I can run out to take care of personal matters if there is need, but the reality is I have a job commitment and regardless I am "on" 20-30 hours a week. And I never understood how I had so much energy. And the reality is I had a normal amount of energy, I was just able to remove myself, whenever there was a need, for a few hours to regroup and refuel. Something that is not an option when you work for someone else.

Every day I thank God for this job. I decided for the second half of my life to take on a new challenge and career path. Every day I thank God, that as a consultant I can, and am still able to take on new clients and work around a schedule that allows me to bring my best. My best is that "Professional On". God took me down a path of entrepreneurship. And that "Professional On" requires all of us to be 100% present. Present emotionally and intellectually.   That is ALOT of brain power going out daily. Give yourself grace if you are tired at the end of you day. Give yourself a pat on the back if you have been working for someone else your entire career. I have only been at this for 10 months and I can understand my family and friends so much better. And most importantly take time to refuel and regroup. On the days I have activities with the boys after work. I listen to my favorite music on the commute home. I listen to it loud and I sing at the top of my lungs.

I appreciate my family and friends so much. I appreciate that they all had to adjust to my working on someone else's schedule. Most importantly is taking the time doing something that gives you refueling time. As a single mom, it really is not the "mom's night out" that refuels me. It's the "mom's night in." I think I have a new blog post idea. I am certain it's been written a gazillion times. I think I will call it "Ten Ways To Refuel". I spent a career as an entrepreneur with balance. I may have a few good ideas in my back pocket. Stay tuned.

Single Parent Insights #4356

Are there to many blog posts about being a single parent? I have not really googled to look up single parent blogs, nor do I have the time.  This evening stuck a single mama funny bone. A funny about being tired, and wanting to turn in for the night and wishing sometimes there was another grown up in the house to tend to the children. Tonight it's just me, the single gal who will keep showing up for her kids no matter how tired I am. At the end of a week believe me I am beat. And sitting down for a few minutes and I could go right to sleep.

I have always prayed that my boys would have solid young men in their lives.  Men to talk cars, and sports and all the boys stuff that boys love. From Elliot all the way down to Emerson my boys have always had a solid group of community to love and lead them. However this evening I had a good chuckle. A chuckle over being the single mama connecting with her teenager over what interests he has.

My boys will ask me questions like I am all knowing and the smartest mom ever. They have even asked me at times how I could know so much. Let me start by saying that it does not take much to have a kid think you know a lot. The secret is simply asking them questions about what they love, they in return teach you and then you are able to carry a conversation about what they are interested in.

This evening a conversation went like this:

"Mom, you know how a Lotus breaks down a lot?" 

I am thinking that we are talking about a car since this particular kid is fascinated with sports cars. And everyone knows in that first seen of "Pretty Woman" Vivian jumps into a Lotus. So there is my knowledge of a Lotus.

"Yes, I am pretty sure they do break down a lot."

"Wow mom you sure know a lot about cars."

When in fact I know nothing of a Lotus breaking down, I just repeated back what one child already knew. And that child went on to explain to me in more details as he watched a car show.

What is the point of this blog? The point is simply this. It's hard at the end of the day to give more ears and attention to one kid. You are the only parent, or grown up in the room for them to process life with. Be there for them always. Even if it's just repeating back what they have said. Listen, ask questions and discover how much knowledge you can learn from your kids. In return you are able to share conversations with your teenagers.

I have found the greatest joy in just sitting with my children know matter how tired I am. The phone put away, the car show on and minutes from nodding off. They do not remember all the hard details of having a single mama. They remember that you sat with them and talked about cars.

Love Never Fails

Some days we wake up tired. We think we have failed because we did not have the perfect breakfast, or the hot cocoa when we promised. Then love steps in, and we are reminded that when there is love, even what we think are small failures mean nothing more to our children than just a fleeting moment. They know love is not measured in green eggs & ham.

 As single parents we work hard. The blessing of having my kids in my space after school. Their friends coming to play and being able to kiss mama when the day is done. Working. Have I failed my children? Of course not. I have been blessed as an entrepreneur to be present in the raising of my five children. Even with a tired face, from working all day there are kisses on the house. Love never fails.

Selfies, we take lots. For those who have raised children before phones with cameras we were the one's behind the camera. I have very few pictures with my first two children as I was always taking the pictures. That one single thought of turning a camera around and including oneself never occurred. Now my children will always be able to say, "oh and that is my mom the picture." Love never fails.

Love never fails. When your teenagers allow you in their selfies it's a win not a failure. I am truly blessed for the friendships I have with my children. They know our story of hard, easy and inbetween and because of the love we share, we  are all still here.

Dear Parents,
Our children know the difference between stuff, time and love.  They may beg for all the stuff. But I can tell you one thing is for sure. My grown children thank me more for the time, and expression of love more than any stuff they ever had. That time earns us the right as parents to speak into our children. When love steps in, it will never fail.

The Generous Heart of One Family

In this post I want to share the generous heart of one family. A family I do not know. Yet God prompted to write a check on the precise day I cried out to God.

It was October 15th when my three boys were removed from my daily care. It was a law that a judge had to abide by. Even in his own words stating, "this is NOT in the best interest of the children I have to abide by the letter of this law." And my kids moved an hour and a half away from. The events took it toll on me. It was hard on all of us. It was breaking my heart in half. My work had suffered during the months leading up to court cases and representing myself over and over with no means to hire an attorney.

The very next day after the boys were removed from my daily care I cried out to God for even more help. The kind of crying of, "Dear God how I am going to see my boys. I can not even buy gas to drive into town let alone an hour and a half away."  God has always provided just enough. AND in my desperation my heart breaking over not being able to go and visit my boys.

Have you had prayers and cries of desperation?  I know we have all been there. It is hard and we know is having walked with God that there will, no doubt, be hard times. And in those hard times we are called to  "consider it all joy" and well joy, tears, and heartbreak get all mixed up.

I made myself get up and go to church that next morning. I could not imagine being around people. I sat where the boys and I always sit, the front row. Worship poured and cleansed my broken heart. I took notes on a message that could help. I made myself stand up. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I felt that if I stayed in bed and cried then the enemy had won. I asked God to get me up and out the door.  The enemy will not have my family. And I WILL stand in church praising and worshiping God. There was a call to come forward and be prayed over and I have no idea how my legs took me those few steps forward but I went and prayer came that morning. God penetrated my heart with hope.

Later that evening one of the young men in the Cone home, Tyler, handed me a piece of paper. It was a check. A member of his church wanted to do something. Wanted to help.  It was enough money to pay for gas for the next 3 months to go and visit my boys. They could not have known the timing of this check or the prayers of my heart. They felt God's leading and generously gave to our family Not one dollar was wasted. God provided in way that came from a stranger. My heart completely humbled.

What is challenging your faith? What are you not seeing? God is working on your behalf. It may not be as tangible as a check. But the check was yet another way God answered prayer. God answered prayer that day by helping me to have the courage to get out of bed and take my broken heart to the cross. God answered prayer  that day by blessing my broken heart through worship and praise. God answered prayer by bringing people to pray over me. All not easy AT ALL when less than 23 hours earlier your children have been taken from you.

The generous heart of this family was really the ending of a day filled with God's care and blessings. Look for God's care for you. It's there and HE is there to carry you.

God's Faith Building Moment Comes From the Sky

It was a very tough week. It was late summer of 2016. It was the kind of week where you decide to grab some overnight bags, load the kids in the car and go somewhere fun. We were on summer vacation and it was time for some vacation. One thing is for sure. We LOVE roadtrips and we love being together.

Within minutes of being in the car, we were singing to Cold Play, and laughing over silly things. I was thankful that God had put on my heart to just go, without a plan. We had a destination of Seattle fun. Being with family and friends. All things my boys love doing. All things to distract us of harder things.

One morning while on this adventure we decided to drive down to the water front in Port Orchard. We then decided to take the walking Ferry to the other side and look at the big ships. It was just an easy morning to get out and play, be on the water and distract ourselves from the hard stuff left back home.

I wore one of my summer outfits with my darling shoes. The kind of shoes that are good for about two hours of walking. And based on the morning's plan that was the extent and thus I wore these darling shoes.

Once on the other side of the bay, we decided to take the bigger Ferry into downtown Seattle. Whoa I am wearing my "only walk for about two hours"shoes. Not my "walk all day" shoes. Come on!!!  Tell me I am not the only who knows her shoes well. The shoes I was wearing had produced the biggest blister months earlier after walking all over the Portland waterfront. Now heading the the Seattle waterfront I already had a blister forming. Not again.

Once on the big ferry I went to the kiosk asking if they had a band-aid. I was asking strangers if they had a band-aid. No one could find me single band-aid.  I was fearing the end of the day with these silly shoes on.

While we were on the ferry to Seattle our family was in a heavy discussion on why God does not just answer our prayers when we want Him to. Why does there have to be pain and suffering in this world? Why would God even allow this stuff?  Once we got off the ferry the conversation continued. Meanwhile I am still on a hunt for a band-aid. Then I got the idea of how to help my kids understand God just a teeny bit more using the lack of a band-aid experience.

I explained that God always provides.I explained that God's timing is always better than our timing or our demands.   I explained that sometimes God gives us glimpses of HIM working in our lives as a faith building moment. Like..."hey I am working this out for you, and here is a bit of proof."  That example is often so tangible you know it came directly from God. I then explained that sometimes God just does not show himself to us unless HE knows we need to be reminded that he is working out things on our behalf. I said that my shoes were causing me a blister. And do you really think that God would just drop a band-aid out of the sky when I already knew I should not wear these shoes. I said that God might do that if he needed to remind us that HE truly is in the middle of our circumstances. Just then the 5 year old looked up. And then all six of us were looking up. And there floating out of the sky was a perfectly  wrapped band-aid. Did you read that? A band-aid blew through the air and landed right in front of me.

We all freaked out. I mean really freaked out. God had a faith building moment that came from the sky. I went over to a bench and sat down to unwrap and adjust this band-aid. I started weeping. Thanking God for having my back. Thanking God for helping me explain to my kids, that even in all this hard stuff, God is caring for us. A band-aid fell out of the sky. A story my kids will never forget. Truly God is the the smallest parts of our lives.

A side note this event is that my fourteen year old attending a summer youth camp the following week.  During cabin time he shared this story. The next morning my oldest son, a youth pastor at this camp, called telling me that Ethan was telling crazy stories during cabin time. I assured him that the story was very much true to how it was shared. God using this story to share with others of HIS faithfulness.

And that is one faith building moment from the sky. Thank you Lord Jesus. And those shoes....well they have been tucked away for good.

What if your last year was your best year in your worst year ever?

 My son Ethan asked me what has been, "the best year of your life mom?  I mean the best year of your life ever."

It might be easy to look back on 2016 and think that things can only be better after having what seemed to be my worse year of my life. What if your last year was your best year in your worst year ever?  Think about that for a moment. Your best year came through the worst circumstances EVER!!  So how can we begin to think that 2017 will be better?

I did not know that my light could shine in the deepest darkness I have ever faced. Yet in this tunnel of hurt God has shown himself to me in ways I have never known. God has taken my heartache and pain and has used it to show me more of his love and grace for me. Tenderly opening my heart through more tears than four oceans could hold and showing me Himself. Showing me through others that He truly has a deep love and care for me. More people,in this past year, have come up to me and told me what a joy and light I am in this world. Strangers, check out ladies at the store. "There is something about you that just shines." "You have brightened my day." "What is it about you that makes you smile?" It's hard to think and wrap my brain around so I will try to dissect a bit more.

You ARE my Family!!  Family is very important to me. Not only those in my immediate family, but those who walk through my front door of my home or business are considered part of the family. I appreciate my mom. As a kid she welcomed EVERYONE in her space with conversation and sweetness.  With five kids there have been 100's of kids through my home. Their parents, their teachers and playgroups and mom groups. My home always open. I am not one who stressed over unexpected company. I am not one who quickly swept the floors and stuffed dirty laundry in closets. What you see is what you get. And God, knowing my heart for family, has given me family through friends over the past 50 years. Yes 50 years. As I sip from a mug of encouragement. A coffee mug sent from a dear friend, Angie, who I have known since 2nd grade. Encouraging me through this hard season by sending me a mug. When family was divided up and taken away, God surrounds me with HIS family. And there is joy at that dinner table.

I have had to learn in this hard season that in aligning my heart with God my identify is to be in HIM alone. I walked this faith since I was six years old. I have had things given and taken away. But my kids, really God?  Life steps in with the hardest circumstances. Circumstances that are not from and of God. Circumstances born out of anger, fear and confusion. None of which are from God. Oh but friends what do we know of God. He makes all things beautiful in his time.  Taking my hardest year of my family, my kids taken from me and what does God up and do. He pours family back into me through my hardest year.

I am one of those kids who was taken from her own home as a young girl. Put into the foster care system, brought into a wonderful family, and decided when I was young that no one person would ever feel left out, alone or without family. And here I was, a judges order. He had to follow the "letter of the law". Geography before this messy stuff. I understood it and the law is the law. It was not my parenting, or mothering, but no matter the law family was upset, changed and taken. Over the steps of my life I have poured into and given with a heart of joy, love and care as best as I can in hard circumstances.  Given because that is how God wired me. And then the most important little people that I have given to are taken from me. My three boys. A decision a judge had to make. "Status Quo".  The judge had to rule on the letter of the law. And my heart breaking. Hardest year of my life. Perhaps in looking back my best year. How is that possible?

Today it is Thursday January 26th, 2017. And guess what HE is making all things beautiful to me today. the God of the universe cares for me. I am still without two of my children. Today with a sweet visit from a friend God speaks to me so loudly that I am sitting here writing. Identity and purpose.Confidence in who I am. Confidence in my identity in a God who knew all this. He's been here before. I am not HIS only daughter to cry over the loss of little people.Twenty-Nine years of being a mom. Waking up to little sillies.

It felt like my identity was raped from me. My identity as a mom. Mom to my kids. Mom to the friends of my kids. A loving mother's heart to every kid God brings into my space. The very heart of my purpose in life taken like a thief in the night.  Apart from God this might seem like a weird and strange blog post. So let me explain it this way. What gives you purpose?  What esteems who you are? What wakes you up every morning and puts a smile on your face?  What separates you from the rest of the crowd? Your purpose. The cause of living that God designed in you, guided in you and made you to build your life passions around. My purpose for 29 years. Mothering.

The first day I found out I was pregnant with Elliot I vowed to God that I would be the best mother I could be. With the next four children I vowed the same. I vowed that I would never compromise my mothering for other things. I would not grow my kids up in daycare. I would would be present. I would see that they had music lessons. ( A void I felt as a young girl who loved music) I vowed that I would listen to the heartbeat of their interests and build life around being a mother and nurture each child individually with their interests. Creatively seek out opportunities to grow each child up with a balance of spiritual, intellectual, physical, social and emotional growth and development.  It's my calling and God provided in ways for me to be that present mom.

I worked hard at keeping my kids in the middle of my work. I had this creative side to me that was bursting. So I took my skills into retail and started my own business. My kids telling stories of growing up in the middle of that store. A store that afforded help, so I could continue to be present in my kids lives before and after school.  I have appreciated all that I have had in being a mom. It has not always been easy. Even able to sit on a floor for hours and teach my deaf child to speak and articulate words. Seeing his personality and driving force to never be left out of this hearing world I was going to see that he could function. My mothering gave me purpose.  With all the challenges we face as mothers I can say that I have always had absolute joy in mothering. Biblical parenting and embracing God's word in teaching my children in the ways they should go. My purpose.

Then one day a court decision took my children from me. I was no longer planning meals, making lunches, teaching my kids to cook, play-dates, looking into backpacks for uneaten lunches, and important papers scrunched up, and homework folders to review and sign. I was no longer trying to figure out math homework, or rereading reports. I was no longer listening to the sweet voices of my children reading. I was no longer faced with mountains of laundry or mismatched socks or wondering how one family can go through so many towels in one week. I was no longer checking my watch for that time school got out and I would put a sign on my shop door to dash out to pick kids up. I was no longer met with kids who walked from school to my store after school. I have a snack drawer still full because no kids are in my shop needing after school snacks. No more text messages from other moms checking to see if their kids are with my kids or scheduling plate-dates.   Many friends over the years allowing their own children to have play-dates in a kids shop which they loved. Missing sounds of their chatter, their laughter or boys fighting over who sits in the front seat. Or boys freaking out because someone farted, or someone is breathing to loud.  There was no longer those daily deep profound conversation with my kids. Helping shape their own opinions, desires and dreams. No play-dates to schedule. No special one on one mom dates at random. Sitting quietly. All is quiet. The evenings quiet. The drives are quiet. My brain of being organized and ready for what was next, the unexpected that happens with kids was no more.    My purpose yanked by one decision. My family taken with one court decision. 

For the first time in 29 years as a mother I have faced a pain that is UN-explainable. I could not have imagined the impact this would have on my life. I have said that it's strange. Tears just start falling out of my face when I am alone doing things I have ALWAYS done with my kids. Simple things like grocery shopping. Or handing Emerson the keys to pen the mailbox. Or Eric and I planning dinner and all the kids cooking together.  I have faced a host of hurt over the years. Our hards may not look the same but we all face them and this IS hard.  Nothing in life has ever had tears pouring out of my face daily. Nothing has ever fought so hard to rob me of my joy than to have my purpose and identity taken. A mother. My calling. The calling to be a mom. the calling God put on me to be present in raising my children.

And then in 2016 God wraps his arms of love around me through friends in ways I have never known. It was my turn to accept. It was a my turn to be given to. It was God's time to show me the best year of my life, 2016. The best year in understanding HIS family. The family of God, the family of friends, the family of hearts who care, the family of doing and helping. The family of life that expands all the way back to being born.  Every single day of this journey God has provided someone to speak into me. To remind me of who I am in HIM.  God showing me and reminding me that my joy and identity are in HIM. Not being a mother. Not being a business owner. In Him alone. In my worst year ever my eyes have been opened wider to the divine love God has for me and for my family. I thought I was doing what I was suppose to be doing. In all of my doing, I found success on many levels of my life. Yet alone and by myself my time with God was in fact the best year of my life. My greatest success is walking with a God who knows. Writing in my journal, sometimes 2-3 times a day of how HE showed up through family, friends and strangers to care for me and to care for my boys. This long season of being quiet and listening. A very long period. And anyone who has just one child knows the unending noise and chatter. All is silent.

It may have been one of my hardest years, but in my walk with God it has been one of my best years.

When we face the hardest moments in life it's easy to be bitter, angry and mad. But each day I wake up and I have had to say, "Okay God, today show me." Show me how to keep loving those who have hurt me. Show me how to smile and be joyful. Show me how to wake up and serve others that this season would not be wasted. Show what is next. Show me how to grieve. Show me how to be quiet. Show me how to understand your Word. Show me what to read in your Word. Show me how to accept the love and care others have to give me. Show me how to be humble. Show me how to ask. Show me how to walk close to you through the hardest year of my life. Show me how to walk this out with grace. Show me how to walk this out with honor and integrity.   I don't know what God might show me and I have to admit I did not always know how to pray, but just to empty the thoughts from my head at HIS feet. And what happens.

God shows me. God shows me what family looks like when my family is taken away. God shows me how to pour into my children an example of love when others are hurting us. God shows me how to accept that laughing and joy are OKAY when we are hurting. God shows me how to serve others by dropping me smack dab in the middle of a family that I could love and serve. Oh he not only showed me but HE showed up. He gave me a season of quiet. And the words of the Bible, God's word have been my prayers. My writing out scripture when I have no thoughts of my own to pray. And God has shown me what true love is all about. What true love looks like and it has nothing to do with candy hearts and chocolates. It has everything to do with family and friends crossing over every part of my life showing up to come alongside. And it brought me to a place of humility to accept the love and care. God has given me a heart of grace. Praying for those who have hurt me. Accepting this season and if 2016 was not my best  year than I do not know what to say.

The story, my story is still being written.  And as God shows up through each of you, you have become part of a story that God already knew about. He has included YOU in giving me the best year of my life 2016.

"I know that my Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this."

Not sure of who wrote that quote, but I have it written on a piece of paper at my desk.

What if your last year was your best year in your worst year ever? 

What if you are reading this and you think...oh LORDY this God stuff. What is it with God? The God of the universe. Our creator. Does he really exist what is this girl talking about?  This next year I will be sharing the daily moment when I had a need and provisions were made. Because I do not believe in coincidences.  I do not believe in strokes of good luck. I believe that there is a God who loves me, cares for me and knew exactly what HE could use to teach me more of his love for me. We live in a broken world where bad things happen. God can use those things to bring us closer into his love and care. He certainly has done that with me which is exactly why I had my best year in the worst year of my life. 

Five Ways To Add Christmas Cheer With Blended Families...

 Allow the kids to be part of the process.

 Christmas 2015 was a new kind of Christmas for me. It included new people in our family. I can not say that I have mastered the art of a blended family, but I do believe we are off to a great start. Last Christmas was so much fun. Including new people you love and want to share such a special time of year with is important. Do what you can to include everyone, and make them feel special by the memories your are creating for them.

You can even throw up some cute socks with unexpected guests.

My home has always been one of adding a few more place settings at the last minute, and having extra stockings stashed away in the pantry and ready to hang in a moments notice for unexpected guests on Christmas Eve. I imagine that is why having new family dynamics seems a bit easy and natural for me.

Bring kids into your story, even let them sing their favorite songs.

It is very hard on our children to have their families divided. Do not think for one moment that while your kids are opening gifts, laughing, and eating their weight in Christmas cookies that those smiles are also masking a lot of sad. Kids want to be with both parents. No matter what the grown-up issues may be kids feel drawn, especially during the holidays, to both parents.  There are some things you can start doing now with those blended in family members.

Today I was in an online chat with @Cinnabon. Chatting about gifts, traditions, and holiday favorites. You can go to this hashtag to read the entire conversation here: #SweetTalk The  question was asked about how to do Christmas with blended families.  I found myself firing off tweet after tweet to answer this question.  Seeing the response others had I decided to turn this into a blog.

Five Ways To Add Christmas Cheer With Blended Families...

1. Ask the new family members what are some special traditions for them.  Ask the kids, the grown-ups and then implement some of their favorites into your traditions. Ask why this tradition is special to them. Include that child into making this part of your new traditions together.

2.  Ask each family member what is one thing that they would like to do, that is brand new.  Create new traditions for your new family dynamic. Make your story joined with theirs creating a new story. Include everyone. Maybe it's a walk that ends at a coffee shop and hot cocoa. Maybe visiting a nursing home and delivering treats. Then do this every year.

3.  Include the new family. Both immediate and extended family. Create events around their family so that they feel accepted and part of the new family dynamic. This one may not be so easy. Maybe you are not fond of the extended family. Make this season a time to bring good cheer. Have an appetizer evening, potluck style and exchange cards. Put a two hour limit on it so you only have to show up and be lovely for two hours. You might actually find this time to learn more about the new family and like them. Serve this extended family with your best good cheer.

4. Plan a menu during the Christmas break. Ask the new blended family what they might like to eat and to help prepare for dinner. Make it a special dinner that follows each year. It does not have to be Christmas dinner. However you can teach a child to have that one dish they contribute every year.

5.  Embrace their stories. Do not, I repeat, do not cringe when they share stories they love when their daddy or mommy were once with their daddy or mommy together.  Kids want to hold onto those memories.  Ask questions from their past. "What are some memories you have from the past?"  Allow that child to maintain that identity of being the son or daughter to two people who once loved each other.

 6.  Create a photo album of your new family.  Including each of the new family into the story of pictures. This is an important way in making everyone feel welcome, valued and part of the family. Believe me when I tell you that even the teenagers will be caught months later looking at this album.

7. Honor their mother or father.  I happen to be dating the father so thus I shall honor her mother. We made ornaments last year. I asked that sweet five year old who we should make ornaments for and of course she said her mama.So guess what, we did.   I chatted away with this sweet five year old girl. The daughter of a man I am dating. She sat on the counter eating cookies and I asked her what her favorite thing to do with her mommy is. She chatted about the things she loves doing. Unedited, she had the joy of sharing her favorite person and their experiences. I loved hearing it. 

8.  Post their Christmas wish-list along with all the other children in your house. Hang it up and talk about it in the same way you would your own children.

9.   DO NOT EVER short "his' or "her" gifts. The best way to make a child feel left out is to actually leave them out. If you have five gifts for your children to be opened on Christmas morning, then you better have five for the new  kids. I was one of those kids left out and perhaps that is why I go out of my way to make sure every kid is valued the same way.

10. Include the family in all aspects of Christmas. There will be special ways to value your own children. Extend your love, your resources, and your Christmas Cheer.  Be an example of love and service to those in your sphere of influence.

You are building life long memories. You will make a difference for a lifetime in how you nurture your blended family. Embrace this time and take joy in the new traditions and new memories being made.


Embracing Christmas and it's traditions are important to your family. Even more important when Christmas is redefined with a blended family.

Pine-Cone & Bottle-Cap Parenting

Let's face it, parenting is hard. It's not always easy to be creative with how we discipline our children. Working daily to pour enriching life lessons and wisdom.  No matter how society would like to think kids should be raised, the reality is YOU get to make the decisions that are going to grow your kids into caring, kind, responsible, and loving adults.

#ParentingIsHard #ParentingIsEasy #ParentingIsShowingUp

I am on my 3rd teenager. I managed to grow the first two up into their, now, late twenties.  We are great friends and today those kids laugh, chuckle and tell stories of "mom" and how I handled their teenage moments.  There is a mutual respect and love for my older two as grown up humans. The badge of honor as a mother is when others know your grown children, and then come to you and tell you what great kids you have. Thank you Elliot and Emily for honoring me as your mother by being caring, loving, and responsible grown ups.

Now onto to teenager number three. He is no different than the first two. His opinions are now strong and he owns them.  We were on a car ride yesterday with a young man I have watched grow up from the age of four to twenty-six.  Conversations between all four boys in the car.  Ethan has an opinion, I have an opinion that differs from his. The challenge of trying to get the other person to share your opinion begins with every teenager known to mankind. It's a very good thing, but as a parent requires direction, and this young 26 year old man says, "Ethan, your mother has an opinion that is different than yours. Do you think arguing with her is going to change her opinion?  Or if she were to argue with you, would that change YOUR opinion?"  That was some amazing wisdom and questions from a twenty-six year old who happens to be the middle of child of his big family. Ethan pondered and the course of what could have been an argument turned into dialogue over our differing opinions.

Teenagers have opinions, and we as parents can embrace them.  Allow that opinion, ask more questions as opinions are formed and still maintain our own.  There are no offenses with being an individual who experiences the world differently. Emily, when she was fourteen years old worked hard on trying to get me to agree that the sky was gray not blue.  I finally said, "You are correct, through the lenses of your eyeballs tis the color you see."

Now the real meat of this post. Distractions from the energy of a fourteen your old who is board. He was board and wanted something to do. Somehow I convinced him it would be worth his time to go on a scavenger hunt.  A game I use to play when all the kids were little. Hide things all over the house, and then for forty-five minutes they would go hunting. And for forty-five minutes I could sit and sip my coffee.  Yesterday I re-introduced the scavenger hunting idea. Boys were at the store, homework was finished and now what?  I could not remember my password to Netflix.  Which all the kids have great memories from over 25 years of being in my store getting to watch a movie if homework was done.  Today I had to dig into my basket of creative distractions.

I simply said, go outside and find a bottle cap, a stick shaped like a "Y" and four pine-cones. It was just as random as that with no thought. The fourteen year old dashed out of the building. Off he went. And later returned with these...exactly as the picture is. It was fun, it was silly, and it brought back happy times of being a young boy. Parents, sometimes it's those memories from the past, that remind our kids how much we truly do love and care for them.  I am still chuckling that he did this and loved it. Now he did want to be paid for his findings, but that is another subject for another post. Happy pine-cone and bottle cap parenting.

Good Cheer

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

Things are not easy.  Life is not easy.  It's not easy getting up every single morning, day after day to little boys who need breakfast, need lunches made, need a double check over, their backpacks ready and shoes tied, teeth brushed and hairs combed, no holes in jeans, and smiles out the door.  All this in the first hour of being awake at 6am before the coffee has kicked in.

I have a habit each morning. Before my feet hit the floor.  It's a real prayer from my heart, but this particular prayer has become a habit.  Dear Lord Jesus, please put a smile on my face that my family may see joy in heart, my face, and my voice.  No matter what life may look like I can start my day with "good cheer".  I want to start my day with "good cheer". I think "good cheer" is a learned behavior.  I know it must be. How else could I wake up so happy every day. Even in the midst of tribulations.  The breakfast routine is really a pretty not a tribulation. I just use this as an example.   There are always those big HEAVIES on my heart.

 

I have been doing this school morning routine for over 20 years. You would think it would get easier. I have never been wired as a morning person. As of late, my boys on this particular morning, two brought me coffee.  Truly I am blessed. And be of good cheer friends. 

And believe me when I say I would not trade these days for all the tea in China. You know why?  For starters I do not drink tea. I will leave it all at that. Be of Good Cheer my friends.

 

 

Motherhood Post 465......

I find myself, as of late sharing my mothering experiences. If I had just one or two children those might be fewer and further in-between, but then with five kids well the words flow more often.

This commute is crazy. I mean look at the traffic.

I still can not believe I get to experience motherhood. Goodness I love being a mom.  Perhaps that might be why I keep writing about it.

Ethan just taking it all in. Moo!

My boys and I have settled on a small ranch which has been my dream since I was 18 years old.  One weekend last Fall I just sat in my car crying. Crying because it really feels good to just sit before God and cry it out. I was asking God to just show me what should be next, and I actually said to God, "I would just like to live the dream of my youth."  Living in an old farm house in the middle of nowhere is not what most young girls dream, but I did. I thought I would be a famous writer and write as I gazed out across the farm. That same day, a young woman walked into my store and said, "Hey I know you are looking for a place to live, I have an old farm house on my property."  NO FREAKING KIDDING!!!!!  God, in his awesome, answer my prayer and bless my soul kind of way is taking care of this mother and her dreams. The housing market in this small community is challenging to say the least.

My driveway takes me breath away. Thank you God!

What needed to come with that farm house was a sturdy four wheel drive rig. Again, shopping for an SUV and well to be honest, I never had to drive a used car. I have owned few cars and rolled them brand new off a lot and drove four years and years.  I could not see with starting two new business's and the thought of financing a car...no.  I again sat and asked God to give me direction in even how to buy a car. I am not car savvy when it comes to used cars and that day. As I was pondering SUV ideas and wandering from one car lot to another Emily texts me and says, "Gordon is here what do I do with him." Ahhh Gordon Harris. He is older and wiser and has a sound business mind. He will have some good advise are buying a used car.  I asked him about car buying. Right there he told me was selling his SUV because he had just bought a brand new car. He said I could have it for the money I was able to pay.  Did God just do this or am I living in a world of luck and coincidence?

I named him "Chocolate Chip" as he greets me each morning. 

Back to motherhood.  How does this post even read about my kids and being a mother. Taking care of my kids is very important to me. Seeing that they are safe and have a home that is cozy and fun.  Asking God in this journey of being a mother that  would be able to sustain a home and safe vehicle as living where I now live has challenged my driving skills.

I have no idea who owns these guys, but I often stop to pet them.

My boys have adjusted to this new normal and they love where we live and grumble when we have to be in town, because they would rather be home outside playing. God sustains all things good. Look for that goodness and you will find it smiling at you. Cheers~Elizabeth