Emotions Stirred Up With Paint

 It was one of those weekends when it was a harder weekend then normal. Ever have one of those days then it turns into a few days? Yet you have  social functions so you put it all up on a shelf and work it out later. Recently I had one of those days. 

Some people eat their emotions. I try to paint mine out. Lord knows I have eaten my share of  emotions. However I am trying to redirect the need to eat fudge or chocolates. Which really a bite here and there is fine but this day required some stirring of the paints. Feeling blue in my heart, gray day and trying to find the light. What colors does that produce. Some blue, some gray, some black and some yellow and white. 

I started around 6:30am. It gets warm by early afternoon here in Palm Desert so starting early inspired me and I am fresh.  I love blasting the music and on this day is was the Lady Gaga station.  It took me over six hours to create these four pieces. I mixed, I poured, I sponged, I brushed. It was so therapeutic.  

"Emotions Stirred" by Elizabeth Traub

I wanted to create a series. With some pouring, some sponging, some passes with the paint brush this was to my delight something I love. As every artist knows it takes hours to complete a finished piece. There is always one more pass with the brush, and then the mistakes that require more brush strokes and then you stand back and either love it or scrap it. 

What was happening in my thoughts, my heart and my soul was deeper than I can write about as it involves my family. I am the mother of five, a daughter-in-love, and three more that my partner has. I love them all and am learning how to navigate the adult friendships unique to each of them. Friendships with grown children are not a one size fits all. They are growing, learning, as am I. I am truly blessed to have friendships with each one of them. 

During the six hours of painting I committed all nine of them to prayer. It thrilled my heart to be in thoughtful and intentional prayer. I know their stories. Their success, their challenges, and the struggles of adulting. I am so glad that I can play my small part in praying over each one of them through a creative outlet. 

Does The Enemy Keep You Quiet?

What exactly is the "enemy". The enemy of fear. The enemy of worry. The enemy of deceit. The enemy of robbing me of sleep. The enemy is that which keeps you from being who God designed. The enemy attempts to hinder you in ALL areas of your life that God wants to step into the middle of. Imagine if we could, in the middle of  facing difficulty, release our thoughts from worry, from fear, and from deceit? What might your story look like?

I decided that I did not want to wait until the end of the story or the end of the journey or the end of this season to share the miraculous ways God has stomped on the enemy. I felt fear. Fear is standing in a court room and hearing a stranger try to prove I was an unfit mother. When I received notice that within 48 hours I was to be in court to represent myself on being a mother. I was full of fear. The enemy of deceit had a strong-hold on my thoughts.  I did not sleep for two days. I opened up my computer and panicked over what I should be googling to defend my honor as a mother. I cried non-stop for most of those 48 hours and sleep. Forget about sleep. I prayed every moment my breath could utter a prayer. I prayed every moment my head cleared. And the enemy of fear, worry, doubt, deceit and rest robbed me blind.

And here begins a story of God stepping in when we release to Him ALL of this. I called my daughter not knowing what to do. I cried my eyeballs raw. I could not eat or sleep. Being a mother for almost 30 years and two people  now wanting to prove me an unfit mother. Lord have mercy on me. Emily suggested I call my church. And I did. I knew the pastor's wife and I left the crying-est message ever. I asked if her she could send someone my number to just simply pray with me. I did not know what to pray. I did not know what I was doing. I was clueless and living with the strongholds of the enemy. My life was not around lawyers, and legal matters. I only had one full day to prepare for this court hearing and according to my daughter there were 32 of her friends praying for me. And I went to my Facebook community and asked them to pray. And then something miraculous happened.

My heart calmed down. My head cleared and if this was a modern day parting of the sea, the waters parted and a way was made. It started with a call to a friend who had worked in family law.  I had not talked with her in months. Her name and face just came to my mind. She instructed me to print anything and everything from text messages, to emails, to receipts to whatever "God puts on your heart." And then the next thing is that my printer that was "out of ink" and went on to print over 150 pages. And then I needed a document. A legal document that I was already told that I could not get access to. The process was 7-10 business days. I cried and decided to get into my car and beg them face to face. I pulled up to the offices. Before getting out of the car my phone rang. A stranger. A stranger from my church called to pray with me. And she prayed over the situation and she prayed that God would make a way for providing the paperwork I would need. And I went to the office and  a woman passing through the office heard my name. And she knew my name. She had been instructed to provide that document for me. And I walked away with the papers in my hand.

My mind was sharp. I researched online every legal word I did not understand. I researched the law and God gave me wisdom I can not explain. God removed the fear, the worry, the unknowns the words of deceit. Because not only did that lady in the office know my name, but God knows my name. And God knows your name. And He knows all your worries, your fears, your hard. AND He is there waiting to help.

I went to bed at 10pm that night. I was prepared and ready for my case. And there was no sleep to be found. I tossed and turned. Finally at 1am I got up and took my shower, did my hair and make-up and drove an hour and a half away to where court would take place. I texted my friend in that town letting her know I was driving straight to her house and may be sleeping on her sofa when she woke up. She was going to court with me that day. I arrived at 5:30am and instead of sleeping I prayed. And then she and I prayed.

And I stood in court and to this day I really have no idea what happened. I know that God gave me wisdom. God gave me the words to speak the truth in HIS name. God stepped right in and took over what the enemy tried to control. And the enemy of fear, worry, and deceit lost in court. And my friend sat in that court room praying. The judge ruled in my favor. I was prepared. I was ready and I have no idea how I even did that except I did nothing but step into what God promises.

How much do we trust God to hand it over to Him? Are we even confident that HE will see us through?   I would like to say that my trust is perfect just by walking close to Him, but guess what. It's a daily release. A daily ongoing conversation I have to have with God.

Are we "approaching" God's throne? I have to believe that this is not just a one time act and we get it. As least not for me. AND God's promise of grace and favor. Hallelejah and Glory-Be. Like I said I can not tell you about that day in court or the many other times that followed but God's grace and favor followed my "approaching" his throne.

Hebrews 4:16

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

The enemy would like to keep you quiet, alone and captive to his ways. Does the enemy hold you captive and keep you quiet? Do not allow that in your life. Every single day I have to renew my heart's condition and release to God all of the fears and worries. 

If you are in a situation and you know that the enemy is distracting you with fear, with worry and deceit I ask that you stop right now what you are doing and call out to God. He knows you. He knows your story and HE promises grace and mercy. And then call on your friends who can pray for you. Call on strangers to pray for you. God crushes the enemy. God wins. 

Lord have mercy on me!! Thank you for reading, 

A Night of Prayer

 Luke 16:12
"It was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God."

I wrote him a little note and tucked it under his special blanket which was neatly folded by his pillow. It read.."Tonight I will be praying that God helps you with piano and reading.  These are your two favorite things to do and a gift that God gives your heart to learn, and to bless others."  The next note I left went under a big pillow. It read "Tonight I am praying that God grows you in confidence and hope as you are a husband, papa, and friend. You are an amazing man and I am blessed by your heart"

I then laid down and slept for several hours into the evening before getting up and going at midnight to be part of A night of Prayer with the lovely ladies from my church.

I walked into a building with hundreds of ladies committed to praying through the night for our families, our church, our leaders, and the community. As the evening progressed, and hearts shared in our small groups my heart just filled with so much joy.  Young and old we all gathered.  The hearts of women who know God can do more and praying for more and knowing that we truly can move the hand of God.

There were many things about the night that moved my heart through out the night.  I was home by 6:00am and snuggled into a bonus room bed, already made up so I could slumber in peace.  I woke to the smells of a late breakfast David had made, and as the boys went off to play I shared the evening with him.  My tears surfaced when I shared the part of eating breakfast in the middle of the night. This time moved my heart.  The time to sit and visit, ask questions and listening to what God was doing that night. Listening to  how He was already making a difference in this young heart, or that heart.  One precious gal came over and chatted with me. On her way to sit with friends, she ate her breakfast standing up, sharing things from her heart and tears surfacing as her heart to was blessed by what God was doing.

God often wakes me up in the middle of the night.  I know it's God because I don't have to use the potty, I am not stressed out, I have this peace as I lay there, and then I move to another part of the house with my Bible and journal and the prayers of His heart are sent to mine.  I love this passage:

Psalm 16:7
"I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; Indeed my mind instructs me in the night"

In this night of prayer God has instructed me once again. In ways that will unfold as the days come and go.  I know to many, I tend to be this quirky Christian who can not let a day pass without acknowledging His presence in my life. It is a supernatural kind of relationship and in one night of staying up, drinking fabulous coffee, and eating sweet rolls my health is restored to my family. No sleepy or cranky mom.  A restored, a renewed, and a heart that surrenders to Him all that I have...starting with two notes written to two family members that God made priority to my heart that Night of Prayer.

How Do You Pray

In the last few weeks I have met young women who have said.."but I don't really know how to pray". I have also met some who have a scheduled time each day that they pray. I have been pondering this for several days. Asking myself what kind of relationship would I be in when I have to think through my words carefully and even plan what I am going to say. Think about this for a moment. My first thought was going to the doctor. My husband even has me write out my questions for fear I will forget to ask. That is both scheduled and planned. What about those who are close to me? I know in my home we have a mutual respect for one another. Something like this...."hey mom do you have a minute so we can chat?"..."or working and living alongside each other we don't need to really ask, we can observe and discern what is appropriate for that moments and the talking just happens naturally.

In the last few days, as I have been thinking about this I realized that with God there are no appointments, no moments to discern, no scheduled times during the day. Just a connection of prayer ongoing through out the day. So, so easy. Just breathing a word of glory, honor, or thanksgiving through out the day. Even telling my boys that Jesus smiles back down at us when we smile up at Him. I also like to journal my thoughts, that are needing more processing outward, so the outward is on paper. This young woman asked if I would share with her how I write and I thought...okay. So here is a day in my life with Jesus:

Dear Lord Jesus,
This Proverb 10 could fill a full year of study. I read this and loved every word. I have always told my kids that You give us the desires of our hearts if we serve You. That verse just popped out of the Bible today and I did not ever remember it's reference so here it is.
Proverbs10: 24 (second part)...what the righteous desire will be granted...
I love this verse and so embrace it's promise. I hope that is okay because I have many desires, and see every day how you fill my heart with so many blessings.

Proverbs 10:18 (second part) ...and whoever spreads slander is a fool....
Gossip, gossip, gossip. Lord please help me to be mindful of the words of my mouth. Help me to uplift, even when those who speak ill will of me.

Proverbs 10:19 ...but he who holds his tongue is wise..
Help me to hold my tongue Lord you designed me with a strong will and strong opinions. Give me strength each day to being careful in all I say and do. I love you so much Lord Jesus and am working very hard in this area of my life.

Thanks for the Bible and how it brings me to greater heights with you. I am truly love and blessed.

For me, my prayer time is both written, spoken, and knowing that God works in my thoughts and hears the cries and the joys of my heart. When I was in my early 30's I listened to a speaker at a women's conference direct each women to find a time each day, a special place, and that without this kind of time alone with God how could they possible grow. In my small group there were many young moms like me, at that time. Many felt that if that was not done, you could not have a prayer life with God, and were discouraged. I think it's important to be in the Word of God. I don't have a special time or place. I am sitting in my kitchen, the boys watching Sponge Bob, and often I will sneak into the dining room and grab my Bible along the way.

Our God is awesome!!! He is here 24/7. Driving down the road, in our thoughts, and all we need to do is just talk to Him. Smile and smile and let Jesus know that one was for Him. He gets us, He gets our schedules, He gets our limitations. And for that reason I know that we can always know that no matter what is taken from us, we will always have that direct line to God. Praise the Lord!!!!

Sneaking away for a moment

I have not blogged in a while. I have had many thought provoking topics that come to mind, but for now they are collecting dust on the shelves of my brain. I have committed one hour a day to pray for the ladies in my church. That hour falls during my normal computer time which is the afternoon, while little ones sleep.

Right now Emily is chopping onions, the boys are cozyed in to a movie while we anticipate the fun of dinner guests. It's an earlier dinner as this family has children my kids ages, so we are all taking a break.

I have been so moved over my time in the past few days as I have prayed for the Night of Prayer our church is hosting for the ladies of our church. This is going to be a time of not just fellowship, food, chocolate (as the invite reads), but a time of great expectations for the night. I am finding that the hour I have committed to praying every day has turned into much longer. Often interrupted by a child waking up.

Today I was brought to tears and could not stop crying. In praying over the Night of Prayer, and knowing that God would use this time to do mighty works in my own heart I got kind of fearful. I am such a miserable person, if you look at a timeline of the times I have chosen to walk alone instead of with God. It just brings me to my knees to know that God has had such mercy and favor over my heart. I should not have been so blessed, but I am and God sees me worthy to forgive me in so many areas and continue to bless me. Does anyone else feel this way? I have shared before from Jeremiah 29:11, but there is more:

Jeremiah 29:12 & 13
Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

So much searching, so much seeking, but not always for Him, and yet when we choose to seek and search with all our Hearts for our Mighty God there He is. It does not matter what our past looks like to Him. These verses give me such confidence in the work I have for His Kingdom. Please will you take time to pray for the event on February 6th. I thought it would be hard to give up an hour in the middle of the day, but now I am looking forward to this time more and more. Blessings, Elizabeth