Today I prayed, as I sat on the curb with my neighbor, “Lord Jesus, help to know what to say to this woman, and help me to have the kindest spirit in the world”. Why would I pray those words in that moment?
This is a family that has caused me great pain and suffering. Last night I lay in bed, my husband asked me to just smile and I could not even find that for him. My heart has ached over the situation with the neighbors. Watching as their children are running muck, or not being supervised. Read a few blogs earlier for greater details.
Today I had two friends over for a big outside play date. Ten kids in all, riding bikes, tractors, toys on our nice little street. Her children arrived. I could feel my blood boil as her garage door opened and there in plain view a table saw, on the ground plugged in. I boiled as I realized I could not supervise her children today. Not today or any day. The other mom’s and one dad all felt the anxiety I have felt ever single day as they now had to protect their own children from harm.
I went to her door and so politely said that this is not okay. I showed her the saw and said there are all these kids, and this is eye candy, and she put her door down, pulled her kids in and our play date continued. Within a few minutes her six year old is now pressed against a screen from a second story window. I looked at the dad and he said we have to say something. We would all feel guilty if that kid falls out that window. So up her walk I went.
I told her that her son has all of us worried. I again invited her out for just a half hour. I even asserted myself a little more and said that it’s so hard to know your kids know we are all out here and they can’t. Please just take a half an hour to bring your children out.
She did and I introduced her to everyone, offered her children lunch, as I had plenty of leftovers and we all small talked and chit chatted. My friends had been over for a few hours and kids needed naps. So soon they all left and there I was with her alone for the very first time. And for this reason I prayed.
I felt lead to ask very specific questions of the heart, tears poured down her cheek as she shared. Her life is not easy. With each question she opened up and shared, without any hesitation. I felt I was lead by God, because I don’t think I can come up with this stuff on my own, and she freely shared.
So today, I ask all of you who read my blog to lift this family up in prayer. Put a little post-it on your frig. and pray that our family would/could somehow be a support in the best way that we can. I think today will be the first time in four weeks that I can pause and no longer be frustrated, but rather know how to pray for a family that so desperately needs it.
Thanks for your comments of support and wisdom. We still need to be on alert for the safety of our kids and I feel more comfortable going over and saying…hello, but could you……….We have an awesome God that is for sure!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Mommy thoughts on kids growing up....
Today my beautiful daughter got her nose pierced. She wanted to go last night, have me take her and make me part of this new experience, but I could not. I looked at the sweetness of her face and thought this was one thing I could not do, not today. The place was to close at 8pm and it was 7:30pm when we thought we might go out. But I needed time. I needed time to circle the place about ten times in my car. Park and sit for another ten minutes and pray. Pray that they had run out of ink. Nope that is a tattoo. Pray that the needles all fell on the floor and were no longer sterile, or better yet pray that they did fall on the floor, she would get a terrible infection and have to take the thing out. But instead she went today.
I even went to the bank and transferred money into her account and paid for it. Yet, I feel sick to my stomach over this. She and her brother went together, and I would have gone, but all three little boys needed naps. I have been mad at myself all day for NOT being okay with this. I have had to ask myself why I am not okay with this and I realize that the stereotypes I have embedded in the core of me are the reason.
I almost cry every single time I look at Emily. I am distracted by this nose ring. Although the gold loop does match her petite gold loop ear rings. She does not even have her ears double pierced. She is no rebel by any means. She has a love and passion for life, her family and God. Does a nose ring some how change all of who she is?
I guess I have always felt that when people put rings on their faces it's because of something they lack in their face or heart, so this distraction takes away from what ever it is. Which is silly, but it's a cultural understanding that came down through the lines of life.
Later this afternoon I had the opportunity to chat with Emily about her nose ring. She understands where I am coming from and in the spirit of Emily and the kind sole she is, she listened intently and help me understand her more.
It's just a strange thing when the worst thing your child has ever done is get a nose ring, and then I realize that it's not so bad really. The funny thing is that at our Home group this past week two young gals (early 20's ) shared about a mission trip experience. Both whom Emily knows and made a special point of introducing them to me with their lovely nose rings. It was her way of saying..."see these two Godly women, they are so beautiful and yep have nose rings".
It may take me a few more days of processing to understand myself as a mother in all of this, and will take me some time to get use too, but she is growing up, her own person, and wants to do things that will be different than what I might do, and I embrace her in all her independence because at the end of the day, she is one terrific young woman, she is my daughter, my best friend and I love her.
I even went to the bank and transferred money into her account and paid for it. Yet, I feel sick to my stomach over this. She and her brother went together, and I would have gone, but all three little boys needed naps. I have been mad at myself all day for NOT being okay with this. I have had to ask myself why I am not okay with this and I realize that the stereotypes I have embedded in the core of me are the reason.
I almost cry every single time I look at Emily. I am distracted by this nose ring. Although the gold loop does match her petite gold loop ear rings. She does not even have her ears double pierced. She is no rebel by any means. She has a love and passion for life, her family and God. Does a nose ring some how change all of who she is?
I guess I have always felt that when people put rings on their faces it's because of something they lack in their face or heart, so this distraction takes away from what ever it is. Which is silly, but it's a cultural understanding that came down through the lines of life.
Later this afternoon I had the opportunity to chat with Emily about her nose ring. She understands where I am coming from and in the spirit of Emily and the kind sole she is, she listened intently and help me understand her more.
It's just a strange thing when the worst thing your child has ever done is get a nose ring, and then I realize that it's not so bad really. The funny thing is that at our Home group this past week two young gals (early 20's ) shared about a mission trip experience. Both whom Emily knows and made a special point of introducing them to me with their lovely nose rings. It was her way of saying..."see these two Godly women, they are so beautiful and yep have nose rings".
It may take me a few more days of processing to understand myself as a mother in all of this, and will take me some time to get use too, but she is growing up, her own person, and wants to do things that will be different than what I might do, and I embrace her in all her independence because at the end of the day, she is one terrific young woman, she is my daughter, my best friend and I love her.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Summer Reading Challenge
If you want to get into reading this summer with like minded people, then join this blog and get busy reading. I posted a comment of some of the things we do around here. Visit this blog and join.
http://wellreadchild.blogspot.com/2008/07/family-reading-challenge-and-giveaway.html
Here is what we do around here...
We are doing lots of reading this summer. More so now, which is has been fun. Here are some spots, ideas on how we do it around here.
The dining room. Never a room for play or rough housing. Books are piled up and we go into the dining room and everyone sits quietly reading. It's no hard fast rule, it's just a general location since we all seem to be den animals and love being in each other's space.
Before nap and bedtime, the two year old goes into his crib with a pile of books. While he is looking at picture books, the 4 & 6 year old get to choose two story books each. I give up any agenda's in my home and just lay on the floor and read for about 45 minutes, doing double time as they are both present. Hubby will typically finish up with the 2 year old and read him a book and tuck him in.
I take time to read while everyone is napping. I will sit out on the porch in my favorite chair with the sunshine and read. Often the six year old will come and join me with a book. I tell him this is mommy's quiet time, so he goes and gets a book and tries to be quiet.
I hope this helps with some ideas. We are in, we are joining and we love reading in our home. Little ones can even write book reports. The title and author of the book.
My older children are already passionate about reading, so I don't need to encourage or challenge them. They are often putting new reads in front of me. I also like taking lots of notes in church on Sunday's and then exploring more deeper the scripture base of Sunday's sermon. That gets me reading my Bible more too. So jump on into the pages of summer excitement and fun.
Oh yes, I think reading blogs counts for my reading time.
http://wellreadchild.blogspot.com/2008/07/family-reading-challenge-and-giveaway.html
Here is what we do around here...
We are doing lots of reading this summer. More so now, which is has been fun. Here are some spots, ideas on how we do it around here.
The dining room. Never a room for play or rough housing. Books are piled up and we go into the dining room and everyone sits quietly reading. It's no hard fast rule, it's just a general location since we all seem to be den animals and love being in each other's space.
Before nap and bedtime, the two year old goes into his crib with a pile of books. While he is looking at picture books, the 4 & 6 year old get to choose two story books each. I give up any agenda's in my home and just lay on the floor and read for about 45 minutes, doing double time as they are both present. Hubby will typically finish up with the 2 year old and read him a book and tuck him in.
I take time to read while everyone is napping. I will sit out on the porch in my favorite chair with the sunshine and read. Often the six year old will come and join me with a book. I tell him this is mommy's quiet time, so he goes and gets a book and tries to be quiet.
I hope this helps with some ideas. We are in, we are joining and we love reading in our home. Little ones can even write book reports. The title and author of the book.
My older children are already passionate about reading, so I don't need to encourage or challenge them. They are often putting new reads in front of me. I also like taking lots of notes in church on Sunday's and then exploring more deeper the scripture base of Sunday's sermon. That gets me reading my Bible more too. So jump on into the pages of summer excitement and fun.
Oh yes, I think reading blogs counts for my reading time.
Scare Games
My husband and I have this ongoing game that we play. The only thing is neither of us every say when, where, or what the rules are. Basically it’s the unexpected “got you” with a good scare kind of game. He is really good at it, because he is already a soft walker, so when trying to be quiet he beats me on this one. I always burst out laughing, which gives me a way most times before I ever get a chance to scare him.
Last night I was watching a Life Time movie in bed. He was fiddling down in the garage fixing something. At one point I went to him and said there is a stranger in our garage using his tools. LOL. He does not pride himself on being handy, but tonight he was trying. So I went back up to watch a somewhat eerie movie. As I lay there, the piano music got louder, the movie more intense and then I look up. My husband already stands about 6’4, so wearing a Star Wars Storm Trooper mask made him look larger than life, and he did indeed give me a good scare. I was way too tired to get him back, but then I knew I had to.
So, he’s back out in the garage, and I found a loud toy, which I tossed into the quiet of him working, past the tike’s castle and into some boxes. I did not even let out with a breath of air. He did not see me coming. Boy did I give him a good scare. I was laughing so hard I almost snorted. So in his cleverness, when I went back upstairs, checked on all the boys, he stuck into our bedroom, which has an office attached to it and hid in there. We are talking about a man in his 50’s and his wife trailing in her 40’s. Are we acting like ten year olds or what? He did get me again. By the way, all of my attempts to scare him would happen in the two minute commercial time of the movie.
If you need something in your love life to liven things up, I would not suggest this kind of game unless I put on a little surprise during the attempts at scaring. Hmmmm I may have to try that sometime. Perhaps I may try this when Emily goes off to college. I am sure she would not be amused to find her mother curled in a corner in the fetal position in some skimpy nighty. LOL
Last night I was watching a Life Time movie in bed. He was fiddling down in the garage fixing something. At one point I went to him and said there is a stranger in our garage using his tools. LOL. He does not pride himself on being handy, but tonight he was trying. So I went back up to watch a somewhat eerie movie. As I lay there, the piano music got louder, the movie more intense and then I look up. My husband already stands about 6’4, so wearing a Star Wars Storm Trooper mask made him look larger than life, and he did indeed give me a good scare. I was way too tired to get him back, but then I knew I had to.
So, he’s back out in the garage, and I found a loud toy, which I tossed into the quiet of him working, past the tike’s castle and into some boxes. I did not even let out with a breath of air. He did not see me coming. Boy did I give him a good scare. I was laughing so hard I almost snorted. So in his cleverness, when I went back upstairs, checked on all the boys, he stuck into our bedroom, which has an office attached to it and hid in there. We are talking about a man in his 50’s and his wife trailing in her 40’s. Are we acting like ten year olds or what? He did get me again. By the way, all of my attempts to scare him would happen in the two minute commercial time of the movie.
If you need something in your love life to liven things up, I would not suggest this kind of game unless I put on a little surprise during the attempts at scaring. Hmmmm I may have to try that sometime. Perhaps I may try this when Emily goes off to college. I am sure she would not be amused to find her mother curled in a corner in the fetal position in some skimpy nighty. LOL
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Prayer in this challenge
As I have shared, we have been blessed to move into a very lovely and spacious home. In all of the places I have lived, I have graciously opened up my home and made it to be the hang out. I love having kids around and for the most part the kids, regardless of their family back round, have behaved well in my home. I have felt that my home is truly a place to just be yourself and enjoy food, fun, and the process of life. My older two loved that their house was where kids wanted to hang out. The younger boys have loved that too.
I remember often the misfits of the neighborhood were always the ones who hung out closest to me in the kitchen, slowly finding their place amongst their peers and moving away as confidence was built to no longer hang back out of fear.
The past three weeks have been a very hard internal struggle. Many tears, anxiety like I have never felt and fear of not knowing what to do, how to handle, and what action to take. We have a neighbor with four children six and under. They are left unattended and wander the streets like rats. I know that sounds terrible, but it has put us into a very difficult situation. I can no longer drive up to my home, open the garage door and let my children out to bring in groceries. Within seconds her children have run into my garage, stirred up things and absolutely have no ears for direction or instruction. Mother is no where to be found. The two year old has been found down the street, crossed over a busy street and in the neighbors driveway more than once. I only know this because as neighbors we are beginning to brainstorm how to handle such a delicate situation.
We have had to spend $1100.00 to put side fences in our yard to keep their kids out. On several occasions they have come into our back yard, even the one year old playing, while parents are no where to be found. My husband and I are beside ourselves. Their six year old decided my four year old was a bad guy and hauled off and just punched him. Eric did not even see it coming. I do not have the energy to parent seven kids under six. I have my own three six and under.
I had to have the fence guys come back out to put reinforcements on our fence because the neighbor kids were climbing it, kicking, and basically our property is used as their constant playground. They only have one car, so often she runs her husband to work early in the morning, leaving all four kids at home. I am sure they are all sleeping, but I can't be certain as she does not supervise them while she is home.
What do I do? I want to be kind and caring to these kids because it is not their fault. But I also want to live my life in peace. A few days ago I had friends over on two separate days. On both days these children were running wild interrupting the flow and fun of having company over. These other moms watched in horror as the one and two year old played around our large Vans, in my driveway. I have spoken, kindly to the mom, explaining to her that her children could not play in my yard and that if they are entering through my front door, they must leave through my front door with an adult handing them off to her or her husband. She looks at me with this blank stare and says okay, but that has yet to be implemented. They are not mean people. They just have little concern over the safety of their children. We were out in our driveway chatting with them about a week ago. Trying to be neighborly. Their two year old ran into our garage and got onto a bike. I said that that bike is really fast, and she needs a helmet and shoes. The poor thing went flying down the hill and crashed into the fence. Neither parent seemed alarmed, as my husband and I watched in disbelief.
This is turning into a long vented plea for ideas on what to do. My husband contacted children's services to ask for some advice as to what we can be doing for our own safety. They did not get involved nor will they unless the police are called. We want to know how to protect ourselves from their children being injured on our property. Last week I felt like I was running rodents off my property. I yelled at the older two kids to stay off my fence, my retaining wall, and that they could not play in my yard without permission, to which they look at you like your speaking a different language. I even went up to the front door and told the mother that I absolutely CAN NOT have her children running about my yard. I said it was intense energy, and now for the past two days her children have been no where in our space.
I feel terrible. I see her children watch as my children have friends over, and other neighborhood kids. I have tested the waters, inviting them into my home when I have complete undistracted attention, because they are not children who obey the rules of a home. This did not turn out so well.
They moved in a week after we moved in and both the grandma and sister-in-law to this family warned me that we were in for it. How encouraging was that? So, for those of you who may have some words of wisdom, please impart your words to me and lift me up in prayer. My husband goes nuts being home on the weekend, and he said this weekend that he can't imagine how I put up with this all week.
I am planting rose bushes next to my new fences because the fence is not providing the barrier we had hoped, as they keep climbing the fence. I can not, nor do I have time to police my yard 24/7. My husband said to me this weekend that something drastic needs to be done before someone gets hurt. So please lift our family up in our prayers. In a sad unfortunate way Ethan saw their one year old take a terrible fall from an outside staircase onto the concrete. Both parents were standing there and it scared Ethan. So he now knows that he can not go over there to play because the parents do not keep the kids safe and we want him to be safe. So we have resolved him begging to play with the neighbors. Which this goes against everything inside me.
Thanks for reading....
I remember often the misfits of the neighborhood were always the ones who hung out closest to me in the kitchen, slowly finding their place amongst their peers and moving away as confidence was built to no longer hang back out of fear.
The past three weeks have been a very hard internal struggle. Many tears, anxiety like I have never felt and fear of not knowing what to do, how to handle, and what action to take. We have a neighbor with four children six and under. They are left unattended and wander the streets like rats. I know that sounds terrible, but it has put us into a very difficult situation. I can no longer drive up to my home, open the garage door and let my children out to bring in groceries. Within seconds her children have run into my garage, stirred up things and absolutely have no ears for direction or instruction. Mother is no where to be found. The two year old has been found down the street, crossed over a busy street and in the neighbors driveway more than once. I only know this because as neighbors we are beginning to brainstorm how to handle such a delicate situation.
We have had to spend $1100.00 to put side fences in our yard to keep their kids out. On several occasions they have come into our back yard, even the one year old playing, while parents are no where to be found. My husband and I are beside ourselves. Their six year old decided my four year old was a bad guy and hauled off and just punched him. Eric did not even see it coming. I do not have the energy to parent seven kids under six. I have my own three six and under.
I had to have the fence guys come back out to put reinforcements on our fence because the neighbor kids were climbing it, kicking, and basically our property is used as their constant playground. They only have one car, so often she runs her husband to work early in the morning, leaving all four kids at home. I am sure they are all sleeping, but I can't be certain as she does not supervise them while she is home.
What do I do? I want to be kind and caring to these kids because it is not their fault. But I also want to live my life in peace. A few days ago I had friends over on two separate days. On both days these children were running wild interrupting the flow and fun of having company over. These other moms watched in horror as the one and two year old played around our large Vans, in my driveway. I have spoken, kindly to the mom, explaining to her that her children could not play in my yard and that if they are entering through my front door, they must leave through my front door with an adult handing them off to her or her husband. She looks at me with this blank stare and says okay, but that has yet to be implemented. They are not mean people. They just have little concern over the safety of their children. We were out in our driveway chatting with them about a week ago. Trying to be neighborly. Their two year old ran into our garage and got onto a bike. I said that that bike is really fast, and she needs a helmet and shoes. The poor thing went flying down the hill and crashed into the fence. Neither parent seemed alarmed, as my husband and I watched in disbelief.
This is turning into a long vented plea for ideas on what to do. My husband contacted children's services to ask for some advice as to what we can be doing for our own safety. They did not get involved nor will they unless the police are called. We want to know how to protect ourselves from their children being injured on our property. Last week I felt like I was running rodents off my property. I yelled at the older two kids to stay off my fence, my retaining wall, and that they could not play in my yard without permission, to which they look at you like your speaking a different language. I even went up to the front door and told the mother that I absolutely CAN NOT have her children running about my yard. I said it was intense energy, and now for the past two days her children have been no where in our space.
I feel terrible. I see her children watch as my children have friends over, and other neighborhood kids. I have tested the waters, inviting them into my home when I have complete undistracted attention, because they are not children who obey the rules of a home. This did not turn out so well.
They moved in a week after we moved in and both the grandma and sister-in-law to this family warned me that we were in for it. How encouraging was that? So, for those of you who may have some words of wisdom, please impart your words to me and lift me up in prayer. My husband goes nuts being home on the weekend, and he said this weekend that he can't imagine how I put up with this all week.
I am planting rose bushes next to my new fences because the fence is not providing the barrier we had hoped, as they keep climbing the fence. I can not, nor do I have time to police my yard 24/7. My husband said to me this weekend that something drastic needs to be done before someone gets hurt. So please lift our family up in our prayers. In a sad unfortunate way Ethan saw their one year old take a terrible fall from an outside staircase onto the concrete. Both parents were standing there and it scared Ethan. So he now knows that he can not go over there to play because the parents do not keep the kids safe and we want him to be safe. So we have resolved him begging to play with the neighbors. Which this goes against everything inside me.
Thanks for reading....
Friday, July 18, 2008
Healing Powers
Ethan has realized today that Jesus has given him some healing powers. He said that he is special to have this power. He has the biggest and bluest eyes and is so adorable with his convincing innocence on the subject matter. Who am I to judge the heart of a six year old. He says he has healing powers I can only believe him.
I asked him when he became aware that he had these special healing powers. He said yesterday when Emerson fell on a sticker bush. He helped his brother and where Emerson said he had an owee, Ethan touched that area and there was no owee and Emerson smiled and was happy. I agreed that must have been special to know that you helped your little brother.
He then said he could heal himself right now before my eyes. I said okay. He showed me that he has a small scratch along the top of his hand from the sticker weeds. (new yard and lots of tall weeds). He then licks his finger, and then passes his finger over the scratch. Magically the scratch has disappeared. I am certain that this will not be last healing before my eyes, but it so amazes me how our young children are actively thinking about what is so real about the Jesus they know.
It challenges my faith in ways that most adults could never challenge. I love our chats about who Jesus is and how he wants us to walk in his likeness, be like him, and love like him. Today Ethan felt very special that he is being like Jesus. Forever I will remember him standing before me and very proudly claiming he has healing powers.
I asked him when he became aware that he had these special healing powers. He said yesterday when Emerson fell on a sticker bush. He helped his brother and where Emerson said he had an owee, Ethan touched that area and there was no owee and Emerson smiled and was happy. I agreed that must have been special to know that you helped your little brother.
He then said he could heal himself right now before my eyes. I said okay. He showed me that he has a small scratch along the top of his hand from the sticker weeds. (new yard and lots of tall weeds). He then licks his finger, and then passes his finger over the scratch. Magically the scratch has disappeared. I am certain that this will not be last healing before my eyes, but it so amazes me how our young children are actively thinking about what is so real about the Jesus they know.
It challenges my faith in ways that most adults could never challenge. I love our chats about who Jesus is and how he wants us to walk in his likeness, be like him, and love like him. Today Ethan felt very special that he is being like Jesus. Forever I will remember him standing before me and very proudly claiming he has healing powers.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Just Ordinary People-Part 2
My heart is very sensitive to women who have found themselves hurt deeply over what online affairs, porn, secret phone calls, unaccounted money spent by a spouse, and time without accountability. I found myself in that situation. I had no answers , no one to talk to and prayed that somehow God may use me to support and pray for those who have walked down that same road.
This lovely woman roller bladed into my driveway. She skated around and then found my books. She asked about the Boundaries in Marriage book. I told her that I had actually started reading that after my husband divorced me. It was very helpful to me in my process. She shared how she was searching and very raw from a recent divorce that left her empty. She shared how she woke up this morning crying out to God, or more like screaming in silence and the only way she could relieve her process was to roller blade. She said she was blading in circles and asking God for some sign that she was not going crazy. She needed to know that she was not going crazy. I prayed those words for years as I knew things were more wrong in my marriage that just two people not getting along. I completely understood what she felt and shared.
She said she saw my garage sale signs and decided to check things out. The entire time we were talking not one person showed up in my driveway. I did a lot of listening to her pain, her heart and was very much moved by her love and commitment to God, which she openly shared. She shared about her children and how they were doing. I asked about her children relate now to her ex and she said that her older two would not talk or spend any time with them. She shared a few other things I jokingly said...please tell my your ex's name is not *******. Her face went white as a ghost.
Her ex was a person I had worked with. A person who claimed Christ one day and then would share the details of how he spent his time on the weekends partying, girls etc. I would come home and tell my husband that I was curious why this man had singled me out to share the details of his life. I never judged, I just listened. I never felt it was ever my place to challenge him, or even judge him. At one point I had prayed that God would open up an opportunity to ask how he could be a Christian and then live his life in the manner he did, but God never even nudged me to move forward with that.
I knew the other side of her ex-husband. She was not going crazy. She needed to know that she was not going crazy. All the lies he was living were true, yet she never had any proof. Why the proof? Why is it so necessary to her today/yesterday/next week? Like my situation, I was considered the crazy one who had accusations of behaviors. I was the one that "needed" prayer. I eventually left the church and friends I had spent the better part of my adult life with because I was not going to be viewed in the way he past judgement over me. I kept quiet, even when I did find the proof, many years later. I knew in my heart I was not crazy, and like she shared, she knows that our Heavenly Father is caring and looking after the hearts of her children and her own heart.
Later she came back with some of her kids to thank me. She said she sat down with her older children and shared with them what had experienced in my driveway. She came by to thank me, and we could talk openly about loving that parent who wrongs us, who chooses a path of deceit and destruction, but smiles on Sunday mornings at church. It's a hard love to take hold of, but Jesus loves all of. I was able to pray with them, but she looked more beautiful than when I first met her hours before. She felt this weight lifted from her heart. She felt that God had used a stranger to deliver her from the bondage of beginning to believe that maybe she was crazy.
I truly believe God had me in this work place for the only purpose of helping this stranger understand and have a HUGE faith building moment in her life and in the lives of her children. We are going to continue our friendship. Funny thing, is when she came back with her older kids, they had met my daughter and knew her. Now that is just so amazing. Once she left my driveway was busy with shoppers. I truly know that God kept the garage salers away so she and I could talk.
I have been delivered from the pain and hurts of my past. It took many years and a very tender, caring and loving second husband to teach me how to trust again. Is this just amazing or what?
This lovely woman roller bladed into my driveway. She skated around and then found my books. She asked about the Boundaries in Marriage book. I told her that I had actually started reading that after my husband divorced me. It was very helpful to me in my process. She shared how she was searching and very raw from a recent divorce that left her empty. She shared how she woke up this morning crying out to God, or more like screaming in silence and the only way she could relieve her process was to roller blade. She said she was blading in circles and asking God for some sign that she was not going crazy. She needed to know that she was not going crazy. I prayed those words for years as I knew things were more wrong in my marriage that just two people not getting along. I completely understood what she felt and shared.
She said she saw my garage sale signs and decided to check things out. The entire time we were talking not one person showed up in my driveway. I did a lot of listening to her pain, her heart and was very much moved by her love and commitment to God, which she openly shared. She shared about her children and how they were doing. I asked about her children relate now to her ex and she said that her older two would not talk or spend any time with them. She shared a few other things I jokingly said...please tell my your ex's name is not *******. Her face went white as a ghost.
Her ex was a person I had worked with. A person who claimed Christ one day and then would share the details of how he spent his time on the weekends partying, girls etc. I would come home and tell my husband that I was curious why this man had singled me out to share the details of his life. I never judged, I just listened. I never felt it was ever my place to challenge him, or even judge him. At one point I had prayed that God would open up an opportunity to ask how he could be a Christian and then live his life in the manner he did, but God never even nudged me to move forward with that.
I knew the other side of her ex-husband. She was not going crazy. She needed to know that she was not going crazy. All the lies he was living were true, yet she never had any proof. Why the proof? Why is it so necessary to her today/yesterday/next week? Like my situation, I was considered the crazy one who had accusations of behaviors. I was the one that "needed" prayer. I eventually left the church and friends I had spent the better part of my adult life with because I was not going to be viewed in the way he past judgement over me. I kept quiet, even when I did find the proof, many years later. I knew in my heart I was not crazy, and like she shared, she knows that our Heavenly Father is caring and looking after the hearts of her children and her own heart.
Later she came back with some of her kids to thank me. She said she sat down with her older children and shared with them what had experienced in my driveway. She came by to thank me, and we could talk openly about loving that parent who wrongs us, who chooses a path of deceit and destruction, but smiles on Sunday mornings at church. It's a hard love to take hold of, but Jesus loves all of. I was able to pray with them, but she looked more beautiful than when I first met her hours before. She felt this weight lifted from her heart. She felt that God had used a stranger to deliver her from the bondage of beginning to believe that maybe she was crazy.
I truly believe God had me in this work place for the only purpose of helping this stranger understand and have a HUGE faith building moment in her life and in the lives of her children. We are going to continue our friendship. Funny thing, is when she came back with her older kids, they had met my daughter and knew her. Now that is just so amazing. Once she left my driveway was busy with shoppers. I truly know that God kept the garage salers away so she and I could talk.
I have been delivered from the pain and hurts of my past. It took many years and a very tender, caring and loving second husband to teach me how to trust again. Is this just amazing or what?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Just Ordinary People
Surreal is how I am feeling this evening. It was to be a typical hot garage sale kind of day. Yesterday, my first day of the sale had me hopping all day long assisting people. I guess my past retail experience has taught me that a customer is a customer whether standing in your store or in your driveway.This blog may jump around, but I pray you hang with me and see God's amazing handiwork, yet again in my life. A few blogs ago I had asked for prayer for an unspoken. Basically I had a job evaluation which was very negative. A first in my 22 years of working in my adult life. It was so contradaticing of the actually evaluation that I even asked how this could possibly be in that I had not ever been called into an office to discuss the accusations placed before me. I brought home the paper work to my husband. He has been an executive for many years and said this company clearly set me up to quit. Prior to this evaluation the company had elevated me into more responsibilities and assisting with other departments. I even received a Starbucks coffee card from the managers happy to have me on board, only to receive the most devastating evaluation. The report contradicted itself in so many ways that it was just crazy.
So long story short the most amazing thing happened today. Had I not been at this company, this day and it's amazingness would never have happened. I LOVED my job and nothing made sense about what took place until today. Stay tuned. It's late and if you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior you will after this story. Blessings and Love.
So long story short the most amazing thing happened today. Had I not been at this company, this day and it's amazingness would never have happened. I LOVED my job and nothing made sense about what took place until today. Stay tuned. It's late and if you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior you will after this story. Blessings and Love.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Just a bit to much sun....
Can this week be over with? Can the old house be done with? I tell myself that all of this shall soon pass and the hard work is almost over. I spent all day Thursday cleaning and scrubbing the old house. I was actually more impressed with how clean everything was. It's not that we are stinky dirty people, but a house with lots of people living in it...well I guess we are much more clean than I had thought.
I had the terrific help of my daughter to watch her brother's all day, and then a friend's daughter to help with the cleaning. We worked hard and well together. And I would be sitting here and thinking wow, a job well done, but then the next day, which is today I was up at 6am to hang Garage Sale signs and go back to the hold house to hold a two-day garage sale. I spent the entire day in the sun, which for the first few hours I felt great. Like, wow, I am getting paid to get a tan and that is cool, but then it got old and my head hurt and still does from to much sun.
It was a gorgeous day in Oregon, and my energy was soon depleted and I feel terrible. I tried to go to bed early, but the chocolate chip cookies my husband made with the boys are calling my name. So I hid outside on the patio, ate three with milk. My body aches, I have a headache, and I still have another day of a sale and it's going to be hotter tomorrow.
This blog is really about grumbling. I have a hard time grumbling, because the price I pay now is the lovely home I sit in. It all comes with the territory. I grumble to my husband that he gets to go to work and I get stuck with the "crap" work. He smiles and tells me that I love the cash that will explode out of my wallet, which he is right. It was really a good day. I think of garage sales as more of a price one is paying to carry off my junk. Not so much that I am making money, because the value on the plastic piano that goes for only $1.00 is priceless. I am not one to dicker with. I take pride is saying no to those who ask for a discount. One woman said that I was not such a good garage sale lady, but she was leaving happy because I have a nice smile. I had to smile even bigger because she paid the sticker price and I am $4.00 richer.
So my weekend, with the skies blue, temperature to be in 90"s, is limited to a double wide driveway of junk and strangers. Their money is green and it's paying for the fence we have had to put in this week. That is a different story, and an even bigger grumble. Happy Weekend to everyone and if you live in the area bring me something cold to drink and chocolate. Now with those two combinations I just may cut you a deal.
I had the terrific help of my daughter to watch her brother's all day, and then a friend's daughter to help with the cleaning. We worked hard and well together. And I would be sitting here and thinking wow, a job well done, but then the next day, which is today I was up at 6am to hang Garage Sale signs and go back to the hold house to hold a two-day garage sale. I spent the entire day in the sun, which for the first few hours I felt great. Like, wow, I am getting paid to get a tan and that is cool, but then it got old and my head hurt and still does from to much sun.
It was a gorgeous day in Oregon, and my energy was soon depleted and I feel terrible. I tried to go to bed early, but the chocolate chip cookies my husband made with the boys are calling my name. So I hid outside on the patio, ate three with milk. My body aches, I have a headache, and I still have another day of a sale and it's going to be hotter tomorrow.
This blog is really about grumbling. I have a hard time grumbling, because the price I pay now is the lovely home I sit in. It all comes with the territory. I grumble to my husband that he gets to go to work and I get stuck with the "crap" work. He smiles and tells me that I love the cash that will explode out of my wallet, which he is right. It was really a good day. I think of garage sales as more of a price one is paying to carry off my junk. Not so much that I am making money, because the value on the plastic piano that goes for only $1.00 is priceless. I am not one to dicker with. I take pride is saying no to those who ask for a discount. One woman said that I was not such a good garage sale lady, but she was leaving happy because I have a nice smile. I had to smile even bigger because she paid the sticker price and I am $4.00 richer.
So my weekend, with the skies blue, temperature to be in 90"s, is limited to a double wide driveway of junk and strangers. Their money is green and it's paying for the fence we have had to put in this week. That is a different story, and an even bigger grumble. Happy Weekend to everyone and if you live in the area bring me something cold to drink and chocolate. Now with those two combinations I just may cut you a deal.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Finally Moved In...
It's really hard to know where to begin. Sometimes I think we have just closed a chapter in our lives, so that would be the end, but then we have begun a new one, so that is the beginning.
I think I start with where my heart has not been for almost nine years. My heart has not been home. I am a nester, a homemaker, an entertainer, a closet organizer and I love to garden. It's been almost nine years since a very painful divorce. So many wonderful things have happened since that time except one thing. I have not been home. When I was first divorced the kids and I lived in a place that I knew was short term. Then when David and I married we knew that our house would be about a six month stay, which turned into over three years. And then our rental, until the housing market took a turn to accommodate us. This is the first time in nine years that I have felt home. Truly home. This is where we want to be until God miraculously moves us. I have walked around in a daze these past two weeks. So amazingly grateful for the blessings of this home. I feel completely and comfortably home.
I have spent the sunny days out in the yard with the boys gardening my own dirt. This is a new beginning. I have waited a long time, with some sacrifices for this home. A home to accommodate the seasons to come in our family. Ethan asked today if we get to spend Christmas here, and birthdays and will I be a grandma in this house. It was so sweet to think about this truly being home.
So, I am back into blogging world. We were without TV and wi-fi for about two weeks. I will look forward to reading on every one's blogs and catching up. I have missed everyone I visit regularly. I have lost my camera in all of this move, so no pictures of the new house to share. Blessings to everyone...Elizabeth
I think I start with where my heart has not been for almost nine years. My heart has not been home. I am a nester, a homemaker, an entertainer, a closet organizer and I love to garden. It's been almost nine years since a very painful divorce. So many wonderful things have happened since that time except one thing. I have not been home. When I was first divorced the kids and I lived in a place that I knew was short term. Then when David and I married we knew that our house would be about a six month stay, which turned into over three years. And then our rental, until the housing market took a turn to accommodate us. This is the first time in nine years that I have felt home. Truly home. This is where we want to be until God miraculously moves us. I have walked around in a daze these past two weeks. So amazingly grateful for the blessings of this home. I feel completely and comfortably home.
I have spent the sunny days out in the yard with the boys gardening my own dirt. This is a new beginning. I have waited a long time, with some sacrifices for this home. A home to accommodate the seasons to come in our family. Ethan asked today if we get to spend Christmas here, and birthdays and will I be a grandma in this house. It was so sweet to think about this truly being home.
So, I am back into blogging world. We were without TV and wi-fi for about two weeks. I will look forward to reading on every one's blogs and catching up. I have missed everyone I visit regularly. I have lost my camera in all of this move, so no pictures of the new house to share. Blessings to everyone...Elizabeth
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