My heart is very sensitive to women who have found themselves hurt deeply over what online affairs, porn, secret phone calls, unaccounted money spent by a spouse, and time without accountability. I found myself in that situation. I had no answers , no one to talk to and prayed that somehow God may use me to support and pray for those who have walked down that same road.
This lovely woman roller bladed into my driveway. She skated around and then found my books. She asked about the Boundaries in Marriage book. I told her that I had actually started reading that after my husband divorced me. It was very helpful to me in my process. She shared how she was searching and very raw from a recent divorce that left her empty. She shared how she woke up this morning crying out to God, or more like screaming in silence and the only way she could relieve her process was to roller blade. She said she was blading in circles and asking God for some sign that she was not going crazy. She needed to know that she was not going crazy. I prayed those words for years as I knew things were more wrong in my marriage that just two people not getting along. I completely understood what she felt and shared.
She said she saw my garage sale signs and decided to check things out. The entire time we were talking not one person showed up in my driveway. I did a lot of listening to her pain, her heart and was very much moved by her love and commitment to God, which she openly shared. She shared about her children and how they were doing. I asked about her children relate now to her ex and she said that her older two would not talk or spend any time with them. She shared a few other things I jokingly said...please tell my your ex's name is not *******. Her face went white as a ghost.
Her ex was a person I had worked with. A person who claimed Christ one day and then would share the details of how he spent his time on the weekends partying, girls etc. I would come home and tell my husband that I was curious why this man had singled me out to share the details of his life. I never judged, I just listened. I never felt it was ever my place to challenge him, or even judge him. At one point I had prayed that God would open up an opportunity to ask how he could be a Christian and then live his life in the manner he did, but God never even nudged me to move forward with that.
I knew the other side of her ex-husband. She was not going crazy. She needed to know that she was not going crazy. All the lies he was living were true, yet she never had any proof. Why the proof? Why is it so necessary to her today/yesterday/next week? Like my situation, I was considered the crazy one who had accusations of behaviors. I was the one that "needed" prayer. I eventually left the church and friends I had spent the better part of my adult life with because I was not going to be viewed in the way he past judgement over me. I kept quiet, even when I did find the proof, many years later. I knew in my heart I was not crazy, and like she shared, she knows that our Heavenly Father is caring and looking after the hearts of her children and her own heart.
Later she came back with some of her kids to thank me. She said she sat down with her older children and shared with them what had experienced in my driveway. She came by to thank me, and we could talk openly about loving that parent who wrongs us, who chooses a path of deceit and destruction, but smiles on Sunday mornings at church. It's a hard love to take hold of, but Jesus loves all of. I was able to pray with them, but she looked more beautiful than when I first met her hours before. She felt this weight lifted from her heart. She felt that God had used a stranger to deliver her from the bondage of beginning to believe that maybe she was crazy.
I truly believe God had me in this work place for the only purpose of helping this stranger understand and have a HUGE faith building moment in her life and in the lives of her children. We are going to continue our friendship. Funny thing, is when she came back with her older kids, they had met my daughter and knew her. Now that is just so amazing. Once she left my driveway was busy with shoppers. I truly know that God kept the garage salers away so she and I could talk.
I have been delivered from the pain and hurts of my past. It took many years and a very tender, caring and loving second husband to teach me how to trust again. Is this just amazing or what?