Pine-Cone & Bottle-Cap Parenting

Let's face it, parenting is hard. It's not always easy to be creative with how we discipline our children. Working daily to pour enriching life lessons and wisdom.  No matter how society would like to think kids should be raised, the reality is YOU get to make the decisions that are going to grow your kids into caring, kind, responsible, and loving adults.

#ParentingIsHard #ParentingIsEasy #ParentingIsShowingUp

I am on my 3rd teenager. I managed to grow the first two up into their, now, late twenties.  We are great friends and today those kids laugh, chuckle and tell stories of "mom" and how I handled their teenage moments.  There is a mutual respect and love for my older two as grown up humans. The badge of honor as a mother is when others know your grown children, and then come to you and tell you what great kids you have. Thank you Elliot and Emily for honoring me as your mother by being caring, loving, and responsible grown ups.

Now onto to teenager number three. He is no different than the first two. His opinions are now strong and he owns them.  We were on a car ride yesterday with a young man I have watched grow up from the age of four to twenty-six.  Conversations between all four boys in the car.  Ethan has an opinion, I have an opinion that differs from his. The challenge of trying to get the other person to share your opinion begins with every teenager known to mankind. It's a very good thing, but as a parent requires direction, and this young 26 year old man says, "Ethan, your mother has an opinion that is different than yours. Do you think arguing with her is going to change her opinion?  Or if she were to argue with you, would that change YOUR opinion?"  That was some amazing wisdom and questions from a twenty-six year old who happens to be the middle of child of his big family. Ethan pondered and the course of what could have been an argument turned into dialogue over our differing opinions.

Teenagers have opinions, and we as parents can embrace them.  Allow that opinion, ask more questions as opinions are formed and still maintain our own.  There are no offenses with being an individual who experiences the world differently. Emily, when she was fourteen years old worked hard on trying to get me to agree that the sky was gray not blue.  I finally said, "You are correct, through the lenses of your eyeballs tis the color you see."

Now the real meat of this post. Distractions from the energy of a fourteen your old who is board. He was board and wanted something to do. Somehow I convinced him it would be worth his time to go on a scavenger hunt.  A game I use to play when all the kids were little. Hide things all over the house, and then for forty-five minutes they would go hunting. And for forty-five minutes I could sit and sip my coffee.  Yesterday I re-introduced the scavenger hunting idea. Boys were at the store, homework was finished and now what?  I could not remember my password to Netflix.  Which all the kids have great memories from over 25 years of being in my store getting to watch a movie if homework was done.  Today I had to dig into my basket of creative distractions.

I simply said, go outside and find a bottle cap, a stick shaped like a "Y" and four pine-cones. It was just as random as that with no thought. The fourteen year old dashed out of the building. Off he went. And later returned with these...exactly as the picture is. It was fun, it was silly, and it brought back happy times of being a young boy. Parents, sometimes it's those memories from the past, that remind our kids how much we truly do love and care for them.  I am still chuckling that he did this and loved it. Now he did want to be paid for his findings, but that is another subject for another post. Happy pine-cone and bottle cap parenting.

The Addition of Sarah

Notice one more in this picture?  Notice David's smile as he stretches his Papa arms across Sarah and Elliot.  This was taken the night that Sarah and Elliot got engaged and our first picture with a new family addition.   I have to be honest in saying that my prayer life is changing and I could not be happier.  I never dreamed what this day might be like.  What a blessing from God,  that the many years of praying for a sweet bride, someday for my son has been answered.

The addition of Sarah is the result of  26 years of praying for that little girl who was growing up to someday be Elliot's wife. That little girl who might be out skipping, and drawing flowers with chalk on hot summer sidewalks.  I prayed for a little girl that she was being loved by parents. My prayers were not deep, long hours daily.  They were moments throughout the past 26 years. Hand written notes in my journals of prayer for her.  Whispers of prayers as I watched Elliot growing up.   Praying that some day a young woman would know how to love, cherish and boldly come alongside his life with an identity in Christ.  The prayers of a mama's heart over who that little girl might be.  Praying that her life dreams would be to wrap her heart first around that intimate relationship with God, that she could understand the holiest of loves which would guide her heart in loving a man.

This precious girls loves boldly and out loud.  Sarah embraces the her newly extended family. She has our DNA.  When you carry the DNA of the Lord most high it's no jumble of emotions in fitting in.  She just does. She is passionate and caring and those around her can feel that care and love.  I sit back and watch her love that man I have raised.  I would be lying if I said I did not cry, with deep emotions over the magnificent way in which God answers prayers.

Sarah, in her fun spirit wrote that she prayed for a pony and prince charming. God gave her a prince.  I prayed for a princess of the Lord most high for my son. A beautiful girl that could come alongside the ministry God had set before Elliot. A girl who would know how to love and serve others right where they are at. Sarah has her ministry that God has grown her into.  She serves others and seeing her love the boys, Ethan, Eric & Emerson, and seeing her wrap her heart of sister love around Emily is a natural addition and progression of family and holy community.Our newest picture of our children.

Mama's don't ever stop praying for those who will someday join your family.  My prayer life has changed in that there is now a name to  young woman. I can now pray with a name a new prayer for both Elliot and Sarah.  God hears the prayers of our hearts.  We often wonder just how long we must pray.  We pray as long as the life we are given.  I encourage a journal of writings, scribbles, notes.  Looking back over the journals of over 20 years ago, I was but the age of Sarah when I started praying for her life.  I delight in the joy of this next season as a mother. 

Thank you God for you beautiful blessings, Elizabeth

The Mother of Sillies

I will take all of these sillies any day of the week.  They are funny, they are smart, they ask more questions than I can answer. At least one is mad at me at all times for something I could not follow through on or do, yet they wrap their arms around me and tell me they love me. 


They are in my space all the time, they use up all the shampoo and don't tell me, they wash their clothes and then leave them to sit in the laundry room. They call me late at night and want to go and have coffee. They thank me for making their lunch, even if it's not such a good one. They thank me for sitting and listening, even when my brain is half asleep.  


They mess up my well-made bed to wrestle, they push delete, and then ask what that button is for. They don't remember to rinse the cereal out of the bowl, only to be discovered by me hours later.  They leave socks and undies behind the bathroom door. My bathtub is a play yard of super heroes, boats, planes and trains.  My office, my desk, my personal space is covered with little notes saying "i love you momu" and precious little drawings on my important papers.  


They whisper while I am sleeping..."can I get you anything mommy?" I pretend to stay asleep because I know that a sweet little hand will be tapping my shoulder with the loudest whisper you have ever heard. They eat my sandwich I made a head of time. They bring their friends over and stay late. Always asking if I will join them.  

They tell me a friend has a problem and would love to talk with you, they will use my office for their hard work, and ask if I can come back later to my own office.  They drink milk by the gallons, and eat cereal by the dozens of boxes.  They don't like sleeping with a pillowcase, so they remove it.  They prefer to wear the same socks every day, so I have to sneak in and trade them out for clean ones.  He will wear the same jeans every day, they are his favorites so while he sleeps I wash them and hang them up just as they were.  They ask me to help build their lego sets, over and over and over. I think I can build them in my sleep. I find them in my bed at night. An elbow on a lego is the worst pain. I watch YouTube video's with them and laugh over the corny clips. 

I stand in the kitchen, while they sit and laugh at me. They tell me not to sing, or not to dance, but I always do.  I am awkward, I am learning when to fade in and out. Sometimes I get those mixed up so they tell me.  I can ask them questions about God and they open up their hearts to share their own story. Stories unfold around that kitchen counter.  Stories unfold while sitting on the red sofa with just one lamp on. Stories unfold on the edge of my bed. 


Always I will listen and ask questions. I try not to be shocked when they ask me to be objective. I try not to laugh when I see something so hilarious and funny, and no one else sees the silliness of it all.  Today I sit back and watch as each one gathers for the afternoon dinner.  Taking time to drive home for a meal with mom.  Sitting before running off to work knowing that this moment may come and go quickly as the food is delicious, but they all came to say "thanks mom I love you".  


This is how my life looks daily and although there are times I want to wake up and start over I look at my life as a mother and know I would not trade for one moment one lego, or one late night, or one tear.  Thanks be to God for his wonderful gifts.  All five and the others who show up in my home so I can love and mother them too.

It's a Gift

I have had 22 years of being a mom. This afternoon my son called as he is rolling away in his red car to travel back home after four years of college in Florida. We chit chatted about his life and this next season for him. He embraced me as a mother and said that my gift is mothering. He rolled out years of being his mother as a blessing to the development of his life.

My gift is mothering? Really? This is a hard job. Many challenges to sort out each day. Much giving up of one's self on a moment to moment basis. Many of you who read this know exactly what I am talking about. I think being a mother is a gift we give our children when we intentionally seek out how to do this job well. Most would say it is completely on the job training. Then after a few more kids you get the hang of systems and routines that work, and the results are favorable.

We all have special things that we shine at. And then there are things we stink at. For example my friends are ALWAYS surprised when I tell them I stink at scrap booking, and I stink at floral arranging. Being industrious and creative it is hard for me to make this information public. I was an interior designer for years, and crafty is my middle name, but those two things have haunted me and I have tried to be good at those things but sadly am not. Mothering....now that is something I love, and when my son used the word "gift" i had to think about that.

A gift, something we are really good at is usually a God given gift. I never really had formal designer school training, My gift with color, balance, and coordinating stuff comes easy and I have been told it's a gift. I believe that. Is mothering a gift too? Yes, it is just that. As women that curse of a monthly visitor reminds us that we are born to breed and mother children. Many postpone that stage of life, some jump in early as a mother, but the reality is that God designed us to mother. It's not a lottery of what women might be born with a reproductive system. Sadly some have had the loss of a baby, or have not been able to have a baby and long to do so. For those my heart is sad.

Happy Mother 's Day to each and every mother, mother to be, and mother of an angel baby. It is a gift as my son has said and I am blessed every single day to be mother to my children. It is an amazing gift that God had given to us. Blessings.