God Knows What Matters To You

 What matters to you? How does God show up in ways that matter to you?

God Knows What Matters To You

Ever since I was a little girl playing on the Jersey Shore I have loved the ocean. I have loved the views. I have loved to look out and see across the skies. When I lived in Philadelphia we had lived in a row house. As a little girl I always thought we lived in a 5 story home. In reality it was three stories. On the 3rd floor we could take the screen off and sit on the roof and look out across the houses. We were not allowed to do this but my sister's and I did. 

God knows you. He knows what matters to you. There is a deep sense of peace, refueling, restoring, thoughtful praying and thinking that happen in the spaces I have with views. And it seems every where I go, most of my life, God gives me just that, a beautiful view. There have also been  moments of blessings on what mattered to me. Things that may seem silly to another person have been earth shattering wows!!!  WOW as in God Knows What Matters To Me. 

I had a business event in 2013 which had me in the Fox Network studio. I had the perfect outfit to wear to one of my first meetings and I wanted a harvest yellow pair of sandals. I went to Nordstrom. I went to Target. I went to Fred Meyer. Nothing. I could not find those perfect shoes. I stood in Fred Meyer and asked God, "Please God, direct me to these shoes. I know it's silly but I would really like  harvest yellow sandals."  I was scheduled to get my hair done the day before I had to leave for LA. I arrived at my appointment early and wandered over to the Thrift store. And as blessings would be in my life, there before my eyes the beautiful $5.00 Harvest Yellow sandals I had been looking for. God Knows What Matters To You!!

I was having this wonderful conversation earlier this week with one of my boys. He said, "Mom it seems that God always gives you what you want."  I was absolutely tickled that in his life he was accounting the times I had prayed for things and God delivered beautiful little moments and blessings. Praying happened on the way to school every single day. Thanking God and each kid going around and thanking God and then submitting our prayer requests. I had to remind him that God knows what matters to us and He has wonderful blessings and gifts. However it's not always the case. I accounted a few significant moments that God has me waiting on answered prayers. And he said, "Oh". That was it, "Oh". Then he said, "But really mom, pretty much God answers your prayers." 

This picture above, a beautiful sunset was a gift to my heart and soul. A beautiful sunset with trees. I was thinking about some hard things and I literally looked out and saw the gift of another wonderful view.  It was truly, in my world of knowing God, that comfort and peace from above. A view that means something to me. What matters to you?  Harvest Yellow Shoes? A beautiful sunset?  Standing at the edge of the ocean?  A powder blue Nike jacket?  Yes that happened, too. 

Okay here is the Nike jacket story. I went to the Nike store to get a new ski jacket. I was living in a colder climate and already had a nice ski jacket for skiing. But I wanted a jacket for every day wear in the cold cold weather.  I went to the Nike store and found this gorgeous Tiffany Blue puffy jacket. It was $449.00. It was not that I couldn't afford it. Being a mom of 5 kids I have always had a harder time buying things for myself when my kids were ongoing with needing this and that. Ugh!!  I passed it up. I literally told my business partner about the jacket. I told him that if God wanted me to have that jacket it would come my way. I admit I was obsessing about that beautiful jacket. My partner and I were running errands for a photo shoot. We needed a few old school phones. In my crazy Elizabeth way, I looked over at him and said, "That jacket is at this Goodwill. You will see."  He laughed and was like...okay.  There in the Goodwill, in my size, with the tags still on it that jacket. He looked at me and was shocked. $20.00 of evidence that God knows what matters. 

These things that we have, come and go. The shoes are gone, the jacket still a favorite and the sunsets are coming in on a regular basis. The reality is truly, "God Knows What Matters To You."  Do we have to look for it, at times? Yes. Does life happen and one day you wake up and realize that God made provisions in ways you never expected. 

We live in a world of focus on so many negative aspects of life. Turn it all around and start focusing on those little blessings that come daily. What matters to you?  What ways do you see God blessing you. Because I do believe that, "God Knows What Matters To You."

Have a wonderful day. With Love, Elizabeth

Starting To Blog Again

 I cannot believe how much time has passed since I put my thoughts out for the world to read. Or maybe the three or four people who come by. Let's just say it's been a whirlwind season of summer and family and friends. 

It's me, Elizabeth, just saying hello.

Since Covid put time with friends on hold I kept adding to my list of friends I would spend time with once we were all feeling safe and ready. My list kept growing as I would see a friends Facebook update or catch a picture streaming on Instagram. I would add their names to my list. As my list kept growing I realized how very blessed I am with wonderful friends. Even with months being away from each other we all still found time to view our social media streams to keep up. 

Fast forward to now. This moment at about 2:31am. Wide awake. I missed a Zoom meeting today. It was an invite from a Facebook group and I was looking forward to it. It turns out that I set my alarm for 11:55pm rather than 11:55am. And found that out after going to bed early and in a dead sleep my alarm went off. My body felt like it had a nice long solid nap so wide awake I am. It seemed like a good time to dust of the keyboard and start blogging again. 

I think I will take some time and clean up the blog, give it a facelift and go back to sharing life as it the days unfold.  In other news three cheers for feeling hungry at this hour.  Makes me wonder if am I normally hungry at this hour but I sleep through it or is it the power of suggestion as I am sitting at the dining table?

Enough middle of the night ramblings. Really excited to come here more often and chat my heart out. If you have read this in the last hour. Go back to sleep. That is what I am going to try to do. 

Love, Hugs and Blessings

Elizabeth

Emotions Stirred Up With Paint

 It was one of those weekends when it was a harder weekend then normal. Ever have one of those days then it turns into a few days? Yet you have  social functions so you put it all up on a shelf and work it out later. Recently I had one of those days. 

Some people eat their emotions. I try to paint mine out. Lord knows I have eaten my share of  emotions. However I am trying to redirect the need to eat fudge or chocolates. Which really a bite here and there is fine but this day required some stirring of the paints. Feeling blue in my heart, gray day and trying to find the light. What colors does that produce. Some blue, some gray, some black and some yellow and white. 

I started around 6:30am. It gets warm by early afternoon here in Palm Desert so starting early inspired me and I am fresh.  I love blasting the music and on this day is was the Lady Gaga station.  It took me over six hours to create these four pieces. I mixed, I poured, I sponged, I brushed. It was so therapeutic.  

"Emotions Stirred" by Elizabeth Traub

I wanted to create a series. With some pouring, some sponging, some passes with the paint brush this was to my delight something I love. As every artist knows it takes hours to complete a finished piece. There is always one more pass with the brush, and then the mistakes that require more brush strokes and then you stand back and either love it or scrap it. 

What was happening in my thoughts, my heart and my soul was deeper than I can write about as it involves my family. I am the mother of five, a daughter-in-love, and three more that my partner has. I love them all and am learning how to navigate the adult friendships unique to each of them. Friendships with grown children are not a one size fits all. They are growing, learning, as am I. I am truly blessed to have friendships with each one of them. 

During the six hours of painting I committed all nine of them to prayer. It thrilled my heart to be in thoughtful and intentional prayer. I know their stories. Their success, their challenges, and the struggles of adulting. I am so glad that I can play my small part in praying over each one of them through a creative outlet. 

Abstract Painting in Session

 

It was going to a be a hot day in Palm Desert. Still recovering from plastic surgery I am getting ants in pants.  I cannot not bike, swim, play tennis, or even swing a golf club. A friend of mine started sharing his painting pieces on Facebook.  He truly inspired me to jump back into painting. I started missing all my craft supplies in Oregon. In you are like me and love to craft you have bins and bins full of all kind of fun activities waiting to be created. 

Most of my painting over the years have been on furniture pieces and larger canvases to match my displays in my store. I started painting furniture in the summer of 1993 when I first opened my store. As with any new retail business your day is spent watching to see who is going to walk through your door. After a few slower days I bought paint and painted a stepstool pink with flowers. It gave me something to do instead of hovering over those customers coming in. Stepstools turned into canvas art that matched the room displays, which turned into painting large pieces of furniture

Last summer I bought all new paints, brushes and canvases for a summer camp where I would be, "The Craft Lady". With Covid camp was cancelled. Here I am a state away pining for some painting. I finally gave into Amazon and ordered just enough supplies to get me through the next few weeks of recovery. I woke up early, and started painting and just kept going. 

It was always easy to schlep what you made in your own store. Now, not having a storefront I am pretty sure I will be able to fill my own gallery by the end of my recovery. Especially since I just ordered more paints and canvases.  Gordon was kind enough to give me my own room.  That room now called my, Art Studio. This room is a semi outdoor art studio room to keep this mess of colors and canvases contained. 

I have always been an easy breezy creative gal. The funny thing about painting is that I actually could not master the paint and the brush at the Art Institute of Seattle in the 1980's. Because of that experience I thought I was a terrible and painter.  I loved all my classes but I dreaded my painting class. I learned very quickly that I could not connect my brain with the rules and specification presented for the class projects. My brain wanted to create my own art. However the goal was not to know yourself, but to know your future clients and be able to approach each project with your client in mind. I have a lot of energy and I could not concentrate on specifications presented to me in paintings.  That was over 35 years ago.  Once I took the time to learn my own style I enjoyed painting.  All my kids have been exposed to their share of paints and brushes. 

With my own style and with no specifications I found my groove. When I started painting custom orders for customers I did find my way to meeting my clients criteria. It's been years since I had my own store and the internet is a great way to get your products out to the world. I have had my Etsy shop now for a few years and all my pieces will be thrown up on the shop. 

I posted pictures on Facebook of these pieces. I was truly blessed by all the comments my friends made on Facebook. As I look at each piece I smile. Painting makes me happy. Painting is a quiet thought process of self expression. Painting is my connection with colors that make me smile and make me happy. I hope after looking at these pieces you are smiling and these pieces make you happy. 

Here is my etsy link if you want to purchase a print. 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/skiptomyroom

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Plastic Surgery Journey-Part Two

 How my plastic surgery journey was jump started all over again. 

At the start of  my 50's I asked myself what I might want to do for the second half of my life. I decided that serving and helping other people in a way that I could also make a little income. I could also committ more time to painting. All those paints and canvases were ready to be resurrected on a daily basis.  I would also be continuing in my design, marketing and consulting parts of my business.   

I also became a part time caregiver. As I began caring for a number of people I learned things about the human body and the inability people have to care for themselves with failing bodies. Women who were in good health, lean, having birthed a few kids, in their later years, carrying that same belly as I.  The problem is that they were not able to keep this area clean. Blistering, pharmaceuticals applied to prevent infection, Wraps, gauze and wound care for an area of the body that was easily infected and blistered.  I use to joke that I now had a care plan when I get old for caring for this part of my body. This experience got me thinking that I may want to consider getting that tummy tuck after all. 

In early 2020 I met with the plastic surgeon who was originally going to give me my "Mommy Makeover" 17 years ago. I asked him why insurance does not cover this procedure. I shared with him my caregiving experiences and the expense, discomfort and care later on in life for this area of the body. Now that I see the other end of life and the care needed I realized that more than ever I was going to take care of myself before others would have to care for me in my old age. 

I did my research and priced out the "Mommy Makeover" procedure. Not much had changed in 17 years except the price. I also decided that this time around I did not need to have a full mommy makeover. Just a tummy tuck. I also needed to have 4-6 weeks cleared off my calendar for healing and care. 

I consulted my care team. Gordon and my daughters. Their schedules and their time. In Palm Desert, CA the price was 1/3 less than Oregon. I found a clinic with a wonderful staff and a Dr. who did not shy away from my gazillion questions. The date was scheduled. As of writing this blog I am exactly one week post op. 

The following is a few pictures which tells a bit of the story of my Surgery day. Other blogs will follow of my healing journey.

I woke up on Wednesday March 10th 2021 and made sure I was bathed, hair washed, legs shaved and ready for the big day. Post surgery you can not bath (except a sponge bath the first two weeks).

Gordon dropped me off. My surgery was scheduled at 10am and expected to last about 4 hours. Surgery went well. The procedure is basically called an, "Extended Tummy Tuck" from one hip to the other. I was told by the nurse that when I was coming off the meds from surgery I kept crying and telling them, "You have to let me leave now. Gordon is waiting on the golf course for me. We have a tee time." Apparently I was crying my eyes out and kept saying the same thing over and over. I do remember the nurse telling me if I did not stop crying I could not go home. 

Gordon returned with his daughter, Atlanta to pick me up. The doctor gave specific instruction for my care for the next couple of weeks. Gordon and Atlanta got me home and tucked in bed. Atlanta later told me that I was crying and begging Gordon not to leave me. She said that Gordon said, "Where am I going to go? I am not going to leave you." My answer through all the tears was, "The kitchen."  Oh my gosh the medications they give you make you so silly and loopy. 

One important job the doctor gave instruction on was to change my drains every 4 hours. My first 24 hour care team covered me in TLC.  Here is Gordon taking the first shift for drains being cleaned. I am not kidding when I say that through all the loopy moments post-op this moment made me love him more. 

I have had so many people on my social media postings messaging me about these drains. Referencing that this seems like major surgery. Having your body cut in half from one hip to the other is basically more than just a magician act.  I had 5 and a half pounds of belly removed. You are on pain meds, antibiotics, vitamins to heal. Your body is fighting to heal and good care is a wonderful gift.  The drains remove all the excess fluids your body is producing. 

This precious girl, Atlanta, Gordon's daughter taking care of me. Seeing that all my needs were met from helping me calm down from crying and feeling scared to laying beside me, rubbing my head and telling me it was all going to be okay.  I think as I came off the meds the reality of what my body just went through hit me. Atlanta was this calming soul, with her sweet words to get me through those 1st 24 hours. 

I woke up the next day and thought, "What the heck did I do?"  Atlanta and Gordon shared their stories, we all laughed and I took this picture of day one, swollen, bandaged and drains hanging off of me. (Which I quickly learned how to conceal.) Managing the pain is repeated over and over by the doctor. As I write this blog one week post op I can say that I have done a great job, for the most part, managing the pain.  I am truly blessed by the people in my life who extend so much love and care for me. 

On the evening of my first day post-op my daughter flew in from Nashville, TN to take care of her mama. That will be new blogs to read and follow my journey. 

Plastic Surgery Journey-Part One

 JUNE 2005

There I stood buck naked in front a doctor taking the "before" pictures. I nervously laughed and said, "This is not exactly the kind of model I ever dreamed of being." It was my way of making light of an embarrassing moment in time. 

I was very proud of myself for being able to wear my bikini after only six weeks post partem with my 3rd baby. I ran, I swam, I played tennis, I swung a golf club, I biked, I road horses and I went to the gym at least three times a week. I remember in my 8th month of pregnancy on the tennis court and announcing to my Friday evening tennis partners that this had to be my last game. Playing tennis at 8 months pregnant was now to much. The baby was delivered and walks started, which lead to a few days back at the gym and wham back into my pre-pregnant clothes was pretty easy. Then Eric happened.

That 4th child pregnancy when all activities stopped. Good nutrition went out the door. But really out of my mouth as I could not keep ANY food down. No salad, no chicken, no fresh fruit. I was throwing up several times a day.  I remember the Dr. telling me I had to find something to keep down because after losing about 14 pounds the first 8 weeks of pregnancy this was not good. I could not even keep a prenatal vitamin in my belly. Now enter the fast food drive-through for the next 6-7 months.

It only took one Big Mac to know that I had no problem keeping fast food down. One afternoon I was sitting at the dinner table and announced that my arms were getting fat. I lifted up my arm and the fast food flab was setting in. Hallelujah by my 6th month of pregnancy I gained 23 pounds. Not so good. My first three pregnancies' I had not gained more than 23 pounds in an entire 9 months. Being the good student of pregnancy I was I found what my body could keep down.  Greasy fast food, ice-cream, cookies and cakes. I had been put on partial bedrest due to a prolapsed uterus thus eliminated all exercise, and my activity was limited to getting the mail, sitting in an office and walking to the bathroom or from point A to B. But I was happy to walk to the car and hit up the next drive through.  I can say with confidence that Eric was gestated on at least 3 BK Broilers a week, 3 Baskin Robbins Brownie Sundays a week, Nachos, and fries, and tacos. And there you have me gaining up to 65 pounds with Eric. Although I always say gained 80 pounds because that is what it felt like to me. 

All would have been well if he weighed 65 pounds at birth. Then the weight would be gone. But that little stinker only weighed in 9'6 which left me with over 50 pounds of pure fast food chub. And life with a newborn, and a deaf 2 year old and tweens did not allow for time back at the gym and biking, running and tennis were put on hold.  

I had my 5th pregnancy, only gained about 22 pounds, and lost that shortly after he was born but the residual weight from baby number 4 still stuck around. And my wardrobe became leggings and long oversized shirts to cover up my belly.  I was still me. I was not someone who lived in the insecurities of my body, nor did I have sobering body image issues. I accepted that my nice wardrobe no longer fit. I dressed frumpy with oversized this or that because it was comfy and easy. My personality did not change. I did not avoid big mirrors or the stories you read or hear about with women and poor self image. Most of my life I liked myself and just saw this extra tummy hang as something to accept and I did for years. 

Before my 5th child was born I was in front of the plastic surgeon taking the pre-op pictures. I actually calculated that it would cost more money to replace my wardrobe than to have plastic surgery. I had my 87 year old best friend with her guest room ready to care for me 2 weeks post opp. I had childcare arranged for all the kids and in June of 2005 I was scheduled on a Monday to have all that fast food, which landed dead center in my belly to be removed. 

The Saturday, back in 2005  I was running errands. While eating a late breakfast I realized I was chewing ice. I have never liked ice in my beverages. The only time I would chew on ice was when I was pregnant. After that meal I zoomed over to Fred Meyer and bought 3 pregnancies' tests. ALL tested positive.  All resulted in baby number 5, Emerson. And the cancellation of my scheduled, "Mommy Makeover" surgery. I cried and cried. I don't even have my ears pierced twice. I do not like bodily pain. It takes ALOT to work up to the idea of someone cutting across your belly. I never had a C-section with any of my pregnancies. This was going to be a big deal. And one pregnancy test put this procedure to a screaming halt.

With three busy little boys and busy teenagers there was never any time to really schedule this procedure again. In 2008 I decided to work out the extra weight issues on my own. I hopped back on the bike, I started walking,  running on a treadmill and doing all the activities that I love doing. Within a year I had dropped about 35 pounds. No special diets, just cutting out the foods that I did not need, and moving my body. What was left was nothing but blub on my belly. Let's be real here. If you have this kind of overhang you know first hand that on hot days, it get's sweaty and sometimes heat blisters in that area. It's not just a cosmetic alteration, it's better feeling all around. I was sad to not have the procedure but knew someday that day would come. Now on to part two of my "Plastic Surgery Journey". 

Journals From My Past Monday June 24, 1991

 Journals From My Past Monday June 24, 1991

Dear Father,

I am not sure there are very many mothers in Bellevue who can thank you and smile at the messes their preschoolers make. A valuable lesson was learned this morning. Bless Emily's heart and her sweet intentions to please...a few examples...

-carried bowl to counter after breakfast-big mess-she dropped it

-pushed a chair to sink to do dishes-water & suds EVERWHERE

-wanted to peel her banana-Banana all over the floor-I stepped on it.-

-pulled all her clothes out of the drawer to dress herself

Okay one important detail, this all occurred before 9:00am. My frustration level was beginning to peek, but a silent prayer for patience was quickly answered.-Thank you.

I enjoyed watching Emily work with me to clean-up each mess.  We did it together and togetherness is a valuable word in this family. Emily will continue to help out over and over and I will practice patience. That building up of my patience may be needed later down the road. 

So I smile in my heart and thank you sweet Jesus for answering my prayer and for the character in me you tenderly shape and mold

My prayer requests:

1. Elliot to have wonderful VBS experience

2. Increase my miles

3. Smile even when I don't feel like it.

Being a young mother is not easy. I truly believe that God showed up in the answers to my prayers. Those times when the messes seem unbearable I was able to call out to God and ask for that extra ounce of patience and I would feel a wave of peace and patience over me. Truly I am blessed to know that even today, some 25 years later I can still whisper a prayer of patience when I feel less patience.

I love you Jesus,

Elizabeth