Thursday, October 13, 2011

Parents and Mentors

Dear Parents and Mentors to Young People (18+) And Growing Up,

Our kids are going to grow up. Those kids who sit in our homes processing big life decisions. In that growing up period we need to be there for them when they want us to be. We need to know when to fade in and fade out. We can not hold them captive to the secrets of their past.   In our attempts to try and control them, it only reveals our own insecurities.  If we have done a good job, they truly do hold God close to their hearts and seek His will not our will.

Our hands, our hearts and our homes must remain open with no strings attached.  They will begin to grow their confidences apart from us. They will view the world different than we ever did, and in that view we can embrace them, listen to them, and show up when asked.  It is not our job to always impart our amazing life experiences and wisdom. It is our part to teach them and guide them through important decisions when asked using Biblical and sound guidance. It is our job to teach confidence in their decisions, a boldness in Christ and most important a dependence on Christ and not us.  This is not parenting advice, or a "this is how you do it"
,this is an attempt to wake up those who need to have these young people in your life for no other purpose than your own agenda's. Your own insecurities that are soothed by the need a young person places on you.  Then when that young person grows into his or her own, we clammer and try to hold on tightly. Tightening the strings that are there, yet so many don't want to admit they are there.

Continue to pour into these young lives.  Continue to invite and embrace.  These young people owe us nothing.  As they strengthen, become more confident and bolder and let go, they come on their own.  They continue to show up and those relationships are beautiful and pure.  They walk up your drive unexpectedly and ask for some time to chat.  They sit around your kitchen counter and want to bring their friends along too.  They begin to speak in ways that as you wash the dishes with your back to them, you smile, even drop a few tears because you know your job is done and there is a life long friendship.

And then things do change. They begin to invite you in.  They want you there for important events, and a coffee date to catch up, a hug in passing and an embrace that says this.  I love you so much for allowing me to grow up under your care and mentoring.  They grow up into independent and amazing people.   

Count your blessings that they chose you to walk close for a season. Count your blessings that they are confident and bold and walk closely to Christ.  And if they don't continue to pray when there is a parting.  Sometimes we speak truth and they will run away fast.  Sometimes our own imperfections are going to distract because sometimes those whom we parent or mentor hold us to standards that we are not able to meet.  That is okay too.  When you know your heart, your intentions God takes care of those times too.

Encouraging both my sisters and brothers in Christ who are blessed to have young people coming around often.  YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!


  1. I love the men that my boys are becoming. It's gratifying to see them coming into their own, and the relationships we're developing are a beautiful representation of grace. I pray for a similar measure of understanding as I raise these younger ones! Great post, Elizabeth.


  2. Such wise words from someone I do look to for guidance right now. Hopefully Wyatt and I are getting a few things right. Just a few! Love you Elizabeth.


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