Do we expect and do we accept all that God has for us?
Romans 11: 36
"For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by His power, and for everything is for His glory. To Him be glory evermore."My commentary states this:
"God is the source, means and end of all things. He is the Creator, Sustainer and the goal of everything. Therefore He should be praised and glorified forever"
This has been a very heavy week of emotions. Life happens, it's real and it's not always easy to know how to bring it back to Him. I have leaned on HIM this entire week. If you have talked with me personally you will learn two things about this week. In everything I want HIM at my fore-thought and not my after-thought. My act of His presence and interventions into my life as an after-thought typically require some clean up in my life. On my own I am prone to many bad choices and decisions. With Him on the front lines I see the Holy Spirit guiding my words, my actions and in the midst of extreme emotion allowing me to once again see first hand that He truly is my "source" "means" and end of all things.
I could not have painted a picture of this week. Even if it was a paint by number. My tears would have spread the colors into the next bold lines of life. I have had the blessing of opening up parts of my heart that typically are between God and me. Blog world is often the process and the result of God and me. This week has been the process laid out.
I mentor a handful of young gals. It is such a blessing to see the desires and passions in their hearts to know God so intimately. Our times together are always about their lives and their walk with God. One particular young woman came by my house in the midst of heavy tears on my part. She needed to pick up a book and very gently asked me questions. I appreciated the tenderness of her heart and later she said something like "it was nice to hear from your heart this time".
Everything comes from God alone. He has to work with what we have made of our lives and if we are truly seeking after Him, He is going to lay it out for us. I did not ever expect or know how God might work in little Ethan's life this week. How it might look to have someone come back into my life that was once a person I loved. I did not know how my husband David would feel in all of this. And yet this morning as I look over this past week I once again see that He truly is the God of everything. Every little detail in the life of Elizabeth.
I said to David that it is strange and weird. I was unsure of how things would go with Ethan's dad. He was a person I loved at one time, had a relationship with and I was the one who removed him from my life. It was wrong of me to send him away from his son, and I am having to deal with that grief. David is kind, understanding and we can both sit and discuss it all.
God is in all of this. I saved a letter from Rick. For two reason. One was for Ethan. If Ethan were to never know him and as an adult asked questions Ethan would see the prayer and blessing over his life in this letter. It reads:
"I pray God used this child to glorify His Kingdom and that his life would touch many many lives."
The second reason to acknowledge the forgiveness in the sin of two adults. In this letter it reads: Please forgive me for the sin allowed this child to enter the world.
If this was all Ethan ever knew it would give Ethan a glimpse of his dad's heart. David understand why I would keep this letter.
God is in all of this. Bad decisions made by two people and years later God being honored. Do I accept this and did I expect this? At first my answers were NO. How can I accept the sin in my life from the past coming back so boldly? Walking away, many years ago, I did not have to ever revisit all of this. But God had a bigger plan. A plan for healing, a plan for a little boy to know his dad, and a plan for David and Elizabeth to grow from this.
There are so many who have left my life as a result of Ethan, and so many who have missed the blessing of knowing this wonderful little boy. I am so glad I have been faithful to what God pressed on my heart as the right thing to do, and not what others wanted me to do because they were not comfortable with the situation. Ethan's life has touched many lives, and his little heart loves Jesus.
Please if you life is troubled and you are unsure of things reflect on this passage of scripture. Put Him at the front of your thoughts and allow Him to be glorified.
Lord Jesus, You are the God of everything. Every mess I have ever made, and every thought I have ever had. Today I thank you and I glorify your Holy Name for loving me, guiding me, and making yourself known as truly the God of everything. Amen