Today I exposed a gossiper. Lately when she is around someone and they start talking discontent about another person, she joins in and will build on the statement with her own negative experiences with the same person. Better yet when a person begins to share and pour out their heart with pain over a situation that involves people that have also hurt her she will sympathize, hold the hand of the hurting heart and fight with every muscle of the tongue to not jump in with similar experiences with the same people.
Alone in this, it was my job to expose her. I had to pick up a phone and call a trusted friend and begin to share the heart of a gossiper. That gossiper I exposed today was myself. It's hard to put that out there. My heart has been very heavy for a few weeks now as I have found myself in situation after situation where it is hard to hold back that lovely knowledge of another. As God has been working on my heart it seemed my heart only became more heavy and this kind of sin even more difficult to get out from under.
I was reading in Proverbs 11:13&14 "...He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. Where there is no guidance the people fall, But an abundance of counselors there is victory.
To seek council on such a matter would truly be the fall of Elizabeth. I mentor and disciple many young women. If they were to read this, is there the fear that the intimacies of their hearts are exposed through the sin of gossip from my lips? I can assure those who may read this, that those private matters are safe in my heart as I pray for each of you. I am talking about the social gossip of sharing and then jumping into the conversation with running off of the mouth.
How do you pick up a phone and say.....I am a gossip, I have the temptation to dive into gossip, and my heart is heavy with the same situations others may share and I am not at liberty to open my own flood gates. In Proverb 4:24 it says "...Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put your devious lips far from you..." Proverbs 5:2 "...That you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge."
I spoke with a trusted friend, and exposed the heaviness of my heart. She spoke wisdom of experience into my life. She shared some of her own struggles and the weights of this sin began to lift. Later Emily and I were in the car and I shared with her my struggle and how I called this friend/counselor. My tears poured as I shared this release of sin in my life, the release of weight and how profoundly it affected me. I shared with some ladies at lunch how, in this situation I was stuck and could not even lift my hand into God's hand for help, but instead He picked me up by the shirt collar and directed me to call this friend. He gave me boldness to make a call and He gave me a safe counselor because He does want me to be VICTORIOUS. Go back up a few paragraphs and read the Proverbs again...there is victory.
Tonight I was watching Grays Anatomy. There were several situation where the friends of Dr. Derrick wanted to know information about another. He had been moved to Chief of Staff, and guarded the hearts from inquiring minds by saying "it's not my story to tell." I seriously said out loud "God are you kidding me?" I had to laugh.
As the evening unfold I shared with my husband the behind closed doors conversation I had earlier that day and how amazing God is. And then to wrap up the evening with a simple message, a wink from God, an elbow prod from God to me, a smile of...don't think you wont have reminders from Me Elizabeth those words that caught my attention "it's not my story to tell".......Thanks Lord Jesus how you not only show up when we need you, you pick us up when sin weights us down. Thank you that you have a sense of humor and know precisely when to make me laugh out loud.