This is not an easy week for me. Yet it has been an amazing week. Does that make sense. Life happens every single day and even when my heart is full of joy, real joy, unspeakable kind of joy, those issues of life can just zap it away.
I struggled all summer long, prayed over and over for guidance as to where to send my kids to school. A school that I have loved and been a part of for the better part of 14 years and consistent with. I don't like change and when you find a school you love you try to just stick with it. This past year with two in college, and two in a private school we just did not know how to swing the expense of another in a private school and decided on options.
Home school, public school, what to do kind of school choices everywhere. We landed on a school that seemed to match our needs and our budget. Only to realize a couple of weeks into it, the teaching style was not right for Ethan. Eric loved it which surprised us all. Ethan loves school, has always been the one to remind me to get home so he can get his homework done. Ethan is the one who wants to read two books instead of the required one. Ethan the deaf child who did not even hear the statistics of deaf children and educational set backs. In two weeks I saw the love and passion for school drop out of his spirit. Crushing my heart as to "did I make the right decision?" I don't start and stop things. I press on and work through as best as I can. Ethan demonstrated the very same behaviors at home that Elliot did almost 17 years ago. His teachers would say he was a nice boy, just needed extra help on this, low test scores and once home this little boy named Elliot was angry, mad, wanted nothing to do with anything school. My heart has been so heavy on this matter as Ethan demonstrated all the same once familiar behaviors.
I was baffled over such a dramatic change in Ethan. A decision was made and midweek we put the boys back into the old school. By Thursday evening Ethan was doing his homework, reading his books and happy with life. It's a teaching style that has nothing to do with a fabulous teacher. Ethan and Elliot both always had teachers that I loved. I personally wish I did not love them so much, as these kinds of decisions would be so much easier if the teacher was lousy, but that is not the case.
This whole thing made for a rough spot in my heart and in my week in the struggle to deliver the news to the school and then hoping there was room in the old school of years past.
A few other issues this week, none to go into now and I am feeling spent. No change left not one penny. I went downstairs to read "From a Shepherd's Heart Psalm 23" and began to think of myself as this woolly four legged creature just wandering. Not so smart, not so quick on my feet, and carry the weight of the wool.
"The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want". But that is not true I do want. I want things to go well, I want things to work out always, I want other to be happy, I want to be a good decision maker, wife, mother and then as I sat thinking of the weight of the wool on my shoulders I realized that is exactly what the passage stands for...dog gone it Elizabeth let the Shepherd carry you. Isn't that what His job is, so that we don't have to want. Free myself of this weighty wool.
Life happens and we are not in control of everything. Thank you Shepherd. As I look at this week I find such comfort in knowing, owning, believing and once again coming to Him to carry me. It took a good shearing on my part, but less of the wool in on my shoulders.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Just the Beginning......
This is my first time to ever study the book of Esther. Beth Moore has come alongside to guide me, along with a great number of women in my study. I do not like studies with a day to day book to follow and study. It cuts into my own time with God, and often I show up to a study unprepared, and my blanks not filled in.
I give myself no pressure to ever fill in the blanks, and take what time I can each day asking God to open my heart to new understandings. The next several weeks it's going to be an amazing journey. I could sense yesterday the enemy trying to distract my heart and spirit. I am also leading a book club with a host of some very amazing woman. So this season is going to be so enriching and full.
In the study book for Esther, Beth Moore has layed out an easy format to follow and learn. I love it. I am on day three of week one. Yet I keep going back to day one and something she has printed on the margin.
"There on the sacred pages of Esther God overtook a human hand and scripted a young woman's story into His own."
The first time I read that it was a passing through moment of reading. Each time I have gone to my study I have paused over this, and have reread it. Now as I finish up today's study I ask myself this simple question. How God, have you scripted my story into your own?" "Do I believe that you are not just overtaking my hand, but holding it all the way.
I am not going to begin to answer those questions today. I have lots of deep heartfelt thoughts on this one, but to ask myself that question and for God to use this book as a spring board for digging deeper into what my life looks like as a woman has me filling in all the blanks.
Esther and the study of Psalm 23 will truly be a journey I am looking forward to every day as God steps in, as He always does and allows me to grow up some more in Him.
I give myself no pressure to ever fill in the blanks, and take what time I can each day asking God to open my heart to new understandings. The next several weeks it's going to be an amazing journey. I could sense yesterday the enemy trying to distract my heart and spirit. I am also leading a book club with a host of some very amazing woman. So this season is going to be so enriching and full.
In the study book for Esther, Beth Moore has layed out an easy format to follow and learn. I love it. I am on day three of week one. Yet I keep going back to day one and something she has printed on the margin.
"There on the sacred pages of Esther God overtook a human hand and scripted a young woman's story into His own."
The first time I read that it was a passing through moment of reading. Each time I have gone to my study I have paused over this, and have reread it. Now as I finish up today's study I ask myself this simple question. How God, have you scripted my story into your own?" "Do I believe that you are not just overtaking my hand, but holding it all the way.
I am not going to begin to answer those questions today. I have lots of deep heartfelt thoughts on this one, but to ask myself that question and for God to use this book as a spring board for digging deeper into what my life looks like as a woman has me filling in all the blanks.
Esther and the study of Psalm 23 will truly be a journey I am looking forward to every day as God steps in, as He always does and allows me to grow up some more in Him.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Spiritual Growth and Food Bars
If they don't know then what kind of grace do we have? Who are they? How do they think? Are they in and around your circle of friends?
I am a people watcher. I have always surprised people over how much I remember because if you know me in person I am carefree, easily distracted, and appear to not always follow all the details. Funny thing is I get what most people don't and can later come back and recall most of the conversation and details every thing in the room. Capturing all the details serves me well as an interior designer and consultant. It was my job to listen well.
Spiritual Growth is what I want to address. "They" are all of us who know Jesus personally as our Lord and Savior. I sat on the sidelines of a conversation this past weekend. I like to listen, ask a few questions and contributed nothing but an ear. A woman my age, asking questions about what the "right" thing to do in a specific situation. I was a little perplexed in the simplicity of her question, and how deeply concerned she was over doing the right thing. My question to her was simply this "the right thing by whose standards". She looked at me with deeper thought and she said "I guess I would want to know what the Bible might say about this".
A woman who has walked with Jesus for over thirty years did not know what the Bible might say about a situation in her life that seemed so easy for me. So easy that I could even place a chapter in the Bible that spoke on it. Whoa there Elizabeth get off that Holy Cow I know the Bible Wow horse. It just so happens that I had enough experiences with this situation I was well, you know, well rehearsed only appearing to be very Biblically scholarly.
The other person, more involved in the conversation had a lot to say, many passages of scripture along with some world views on how things should be handled. I did not agree with most of what she said, but my agreeing is not the point of this post. Do we take for granted the heart of another because we assume that they have completed the study of the Bible? When the intentions are to do what is right, only to do it all wrong and then sit back, observe, and think or say...sheesh and she/he calls themselves a Christian.
This is a funny little story. A dear friend and I would get together at least once or twice a week. She was a younger friend, not much older than my oldest. Each time we were together, out and about town, a long walk, trip to the mall she would say..."can I have some of those bars you keep in your purse?" The first few times I was very generous, without a thought. The next few times I kind of grumbled. I have lack of food issues, like headaches and weakness and for that reason keep high protein bars on me at all times. I also have three little boys who get hungry, so I always have my car stocked with a healthy snack option on the run. So my grumblings one day turned into a polite question. Rita (name has been changed) may I ask why you never pack any snacks for yourself? You have shared many times how you are starving and like me, have lack of food issues, so I am just curious? Is it a money thing because if it is let me know your favorites and I will stock you up." I then went on to share that each week she needed something and depleted my stock, and me often coming up with nothing when out and about town.
She then said something like..."I never thought to pack little snacks. It's not a money thing, I was just never taught that." I told her that I truly didn't mind feeding her if we were planning to be together over lunch, but quite honestly it's always random and I don't carry boxes in my car. Now this all may sound like a silly little story. She thanked me, and next time we were together thanked me for the idea and told me that even her husband would get frustrated that she never packed anything. She just did not know, and admitted she had never been taught this.
Are we sometimes like that in our walk with Jesus. We think what we are doing is how it is, and then we learn something that we never knew before. Something that we kind of think any one should know this. I have grimaced many times over behaviors of what I thought someone should know, only to engage in conversation and realize that they really did not know, just like the snack situation with my friend. Perhaps I am way behind in this learning curve, but "they" truly do not always know, and have made decisions based on what they do know. "We" often make judgements over the assumptions of the simple fact that they should have known.
I like to ask questions, a lot of questions. My children are known for asking questions and have been teased all through high school of this family legacy so to speak. In asking questions we learn the heart of another and how they know and understand God. Sometimes I am taught so much by the sharing of hearts. I realize how little I know. Then sometimes I can share the experiences of how God showed me, through His Word what was to be the right thing to do. I have had many times of not having that food bar with me and ending up with headaches and starving and fortunately I learned the art of being prepared.
I am learning so much about extending grace. God has so extended so much to me that I have learned to step back, do some sober estimating and realize that as we all grow Spiritually we truly are in different places and can learn so much from each other.
I think that is one of the reason I love reading blogs from Godly women, who think they may be just rambling a few thoughts. I learn from those thoughts and get taken to a deeper understanding of God and grow. I pray that those who pass through here do learn more about how to live and love like Jesus.
I am a people watcher. I have always surprised people over how much I remember because if you know me in person I am carefree, easily distracted, and appear to not always follow all the details. Funny thing is I get what most people don't and can later come back and recall most of the conversation and details every thing in the room. Capturing all the details serves me well as an interior designer and consultant. It was my job to listen well.
Spiritual Growth is what I want to address. "They" are all of us who know Jesus personally as our Lord and Savior. I sat on the sidelines of a conversation this past weekend. I like to listen, ask a few questions and contributed nothing but an ear. A woman my age, asking questions about what the "right" thing to do in a specific situation. I was a little perplexed in the simplicity of her question, and how deeply concerned she was over doing the right thing. My question to her was simply this "the right thing by whose standards". She looked at me with deeper thought and she said "I guess I would want to know what the Bible might say about this".
A woman who has walked with Jesus for over thirty years did not know what the Bible might say about a situation in her life that seemed so easy for me. So easy that I could even place a chapter in the Bible that spoke on it. Whoa there Elizabeth get off that Holy Cow I know the Bible Wow horse. It just so happens that I had enough experiences with this situation I was well, you know, well rehearsed only appearing to be very Biblically scholarly.
The other person, more involved in the conversation had a lot to say, many passages of scripture along with some world views on how things should be handled. I did not agree with most of what she said, but my agreeing is not the point of this post. Do we take for granted the heart of another because we assume that they have completed the study of the Bible? When the intentions are to do what is right, only to do it all wrong and then sit back, observe, and think or say...sheesh and she/he calls themselves a Christian.
This is a funny little story. A dear friend and I would get together at least once or twice a week. She was a younger friend, not much older than my oldest. Each time we were together, out and about town, a long walk, trip to the mall she would say..."can I have some of those bars you keep in your purse?" The first few times I was very generous, without a thought. The next few times I kind of grumbled. I have lack of food issues, like headaches and weakness and for that reason keep high protein bars on me at all times. I also have three little boys who get hungry, so I always have my car stocked with a healthy snack option on the run. So my grumblings one day turned into a polite question. Rita (name has been changed) may I ask why you never pack any snacks for yourself? You have shared many times how you are starving and like me, have lack of food issues, so I am just curious? Is it a money thing because if it is let me know your favorites and I will stock you up." I then went on to share that each week she needed something and depleted my stock, and me often coming up with nothing when out and about town.
She then said something like..."I never thought to pack little snacks. It's not a money thing, I was just never taught that." I told her that I truly didn't mind feeding her if we were planning to be together over lunch, but quite honestly it's always random and I don't carry boxes in my car. Now this all may sound like a silly little story. She thanked me, and next time we were together thanked me for the idea and told me that even her husband would get frustrated that she never packed anything. She just did not know, and admitted she had never been taught this.
Are we sometimes like that in our walk with Jesus. We think what we are doing is how it is, and then we learn something that we never knew before. Something that we kind of think any one should know this. I have grimaced many times over behaviors of what I thought someone should know, only to engage in conversation and realize that they really did not know, just like the snack situation with my friend. Perhaps I am way behind in this learning curve, but "they" truly do not always know, and have made decisions based on what they do know. "We" often make judgements over the assumptions of the simple fact that they should have known.
I like to ask questions, a lot of questions. My children are known for asking questions and have been teased all through high school of this family legacy so to speak. In asking questions we learn the heart of another and how they know and understand God. Sometimes I am taught so much by the sharing of hearts. I realize how little I know. Then sometimes I can share the experiences of how God showed me, through His Word what was to be the right thing to do. I have had many times of not having that food bar with me and ending up with headaches and starving and fortunately I learned the art of being prepared.
I am learning so much about extending grace. God has so extended so much to me that I have learned to step back, do some sober estimating and realize that as we all grow Spiritually we truly are in different places and can learn so much from each other.
I think that is one of the reason I love reading blogs from Godly women, who think they may be just rambling a few thoughts. I learn from those thoughts and get taken to a deeper understanding of God and grow. I pray that those who pass through here do learn more about how to live and love like Jesus.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Left Behind in Boxes
That life was left behind in boxes. A life when my older two were little kids. That life of being a small family of four, two dogs, a cat, two horses, two birds, a bunny, some fish, and a gecko. Those boxes were taken down from the shelves and opened. Unwrapping a part of my past that had me smiling. They made me pictures all the time saying "I love you mommy", or "you are the best mommy ever", and I have kept these in the boxes of all the hundreds of other pictures. Pictures of a little boy, a little girl and a husband of the past.
Last night I went through boxes that had not been opened in over ten years. It's been about 10 years since the demise of my first marriage. David and I would take these boxes and put them in the attic, or on a shelf in the garage and I kept saying something like honey I need about a day to go through these boxes. Who has a day with a busy household. If I have time to myself I am on long walk, meeting with a friend, or just cozying up next to David as the day comes to an end. Not digging through boxes.
Last night after putting the boys to bed I took inventory of the next 8 hours of my time. I realized that I could put 8 hours into these boxes and accomplish quite a lot. It would make for getting to bed around 2am, but it is the weekend and the boys are easy enough that I could force my eyelids open the next day to care for kiddies.
I was so blessed by all the photo's, the notes, the pictures that the kids had made, and sat in the middle of the floor just smiling. I told David that the day I took time to do this would either bless me or take me through more healing of my past. I have to say I was completely blessed.
When there is divorce and the ending of something so important it is painful for everyone. The pain is validated by the terrible stories we can tell about the other person, their part in the hurt, and thus gives credence to our own process and pain. Yet when I looked at these years of pictures unfolding and that life I was reminded of the fun. Come on people we did not marry ugly people, we kind of turned into that in our own inabilities to figure life out with each other. So do I look at the pictures with hurt, with hate, with pain. Absolutely not. There are two pictures I knew I would find that I wanted to save. One with my dad and me walking down the Ilse of my first wedding. And one with my ex and me at a happier time in my life. David can embrace why I would keep these two pictures. My ex is the father of my amazing children and in all the years of being a part it has been my prayer that we could at least get along and continue to parent our children together.
I know kind of a pie in the sky dream and prayer, yet to be answered, but David and I still have that hope.
As I sorted and sifted I was able to put together a special box for my ex with many pictures and the same kinds of notes and pictures from the kids. I have to be honest here. I am human, human, human and my flesh was conflicted for about two minutes thinking...why would I even give him the joy of these...HMPH!!!! And then I just prayed that God would take away that "HMPH" moment and know that if I was blessed he too should be blessed because you know no matter what exchanges of the past there are, these are just as much his.
Forgiveness is not just a decision it's an action. Actions are what we say and do, our behaviors. Forgiveness has worked it's way into my heart over the years. Not just one big "I FORGIVE" moment. Events unfold, emotions let go, realities are faced and each time praying and forgiving. When our actions follow with grace and humility it's a positive step towards the healing in the hearts of the past, the healing in my heart. I had this genuine sense of God just pressing on my heart to bless the ex. (That sounds funny)
It's so cute to look at the kids and just smile over the passing of time and who they are today. Thanks God for the blessing of my past.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Journals from a Young Mom
If you follow my blog, you may recall me writing a time or two that I have journal ed since I was 14 years old. Some years more than other years. I encourage everyone to pick up a pen and paper and get writing. Pulling these dusty books on back shelves will have me sitting on the floor for hours reading and realizing how much I have forgotten, but also how much God has done in my life. As this is Emily's birthday month I came across this entry. From the heart of a 25 year old mom:
Monday June 24Th, 1991
Dear Father,
I am sure there are many mothers in town who can thank you and smile at the messes their preschoolers make. A valuable lesson was learned this morning. Bless Emily's heart and her sweet intentions to please...a few examples...
-Carried bowl to counter and dropped it, big mess
-Pushed a chair up to the sink to help with dishes, suds and water everywhere
-Wanted to peel her own banana, peel and banana all over the floor which I stepped on
-Pulled all her clothes out of the drawers to dress herself
-Pulled all the clean dish towels out of the drawer to clean up water and suds
Okay one important detail here, this all occurred before 9:00am. My frustration level was beginning to peak, but a silent prayer of patience was quickly answered, thank you God.
I enjoyed watching Emily work with me to clean up each mess. We did it together and togetherness is a valuable word in this family. Emily will continue to help out over and over and over and over I will have to practice patience. That building of patience may be needed later on down the road. So I smile in my heart and thank you dear Jesus for answering my prayer as you tenderly mold me and shape me into the mother I am to be to my children, Amen
What I did not know at this time in my mothering is that Emily, out of all my children would be the mess maker and each mess coming out of extreme acts of creativity. That patience in practice as a young mom has truly helped me over the years. I just laugh over the "mess" factor because we laugh even now over the mess she makes even when baking in the kitchen, working on little projects, and even when she takes time to spend with her brothers she gets them involved in some kind of cool project with a trail of a mess. Today I don't get so rattled and truly she was breaking ground in what was to come...three boys.
Again, Pie Sweety if you are reading this know that I have embraced you mess and all.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Window Coverings
If my camera was working I would take a picture of the beautiful fabrics I have been eyeing for about five years. Having been an interior designer for so many years one might think it difficult to ever decide on fabrics that I could love because I have seen so many. These fabrics are me. I feel happy around these prints, I want others to feel happy and cozy and welcome when visiting. Darn no pictures to show, but pictures shall be coming.
I went the route of window coverings on my living and dining room by way of Target and Fred Meyer just to fill in. Even my husband was not so keen with what I came home with, but the selection was limited, the price's cheap and no one wants to be caught in their undies when running through the house half dressed. Someday I would splurge and have my window treatments made in the fabrics I love.
Over the weekend, Labor Day weekend, we decided to take time for shopping. Something that neither of us are very good at unless we have something specific to buy. I had new shoes to buy for my marathon walking race, new control heal socks, a rain jacket that was functional and not just fashion and a few other odds and ends. David did his share of shopping both of us "breaking the bank" as we call it because the reality is with two kids in college, and two in private school we try to make savings our priority in the events of who knows what. So to take some out of savings is not our character and we are not the kind of couple who "has to have it now".
David walked into the living and dining room and said these have to go. It's a special chemically backed window covering to reduce cold in the winter and heat in the summer. Only problem is when they heat up you can smell the backing. Not good, probably toxic and so I said then what? I suggested I go and visit my favorite fabrics and maybe find fabric on sales to make some simple coverings. I went to the fabric store and all my favorite home interior fabrics were 50% off. Woot!! Woot!!
In all my years, to find all three fabrics still in the collection and all on sale was a jackpot of savings. So I bought the yardage I needed and as I type this, Mary Alice is sewing away. Mary Alice is my 92 year old mother, not by blood, but through friendship and best friend. I was going to make them myself but with three boys, starting and stopping I would for sure mess them up. Plus she is fast and good.
Two hours after I had left her house she called and had them all cut out. She is also going to make some pillows, place mats, napkins, and as of today I will have her cover a cushion on a chair. My husband had the ladder out last night adjusting all the rods and securing them, so all it takes is just the hanging. What a lovely Labor Day weekend this turned out to be.
I went the route of window coverings on my living and dining room by way of Target and Fred Meyer just to fill in. Even my husband was not so keen with what I came home with, but the selection was limited, the price's cheap and no one wants to be caught in their undies when running through the house half dressed. Someday I would splurge and have my window treatments made in the fabrics I love.
Over the weekend, Labor Day weekend, we decided to take time for shopping. Something that neither of us are very good at unless we have something specific to buy. I had new shoes to buy for my marathon walking race, new control heal socks, a rain jacket that was functional and not just fashion and a few other odds and ends. David did his share of shopping both of us "breaking the bank" as we call it because the reality is with two kids in college, and two in private school we try to make savings our priority in the events of who knows what. So to take some out of savings is not our character and we are not the kind of couple who "has to have it now".
David walked into the living and dining room and said these have to go. It's a special chemically backed window covering to reduce cold in the winter and heat in the summer. Only problem is when they heat up you can smell the backing. Not good, probably toxic and so I said then what? I suggested I go and visit my favorite fabrics and maybe find fabric on sales to make some simple coverings. I went to the fabric store and all my favorite home interior fabrics were 50% off. Woot!! Woot!!
In all my years, to find all three fabrics still in the collection and all on sale was a jackpot of savings. So I bought the yardage I needed and as I type this, Mary Alice is sewing away. Mary Alice is my 92 year old mother, not by blood, but through friendship and best friend. I was going to make them myself but with three boys, starting and stopping I would for sure mess them up. Plus she is fast and good.
Two hours after I had left her house she called and had them all cut out. She is also going to make some pillows, place mats, napkins, and as of today I will have her cover a cushion on a chair. My husband had the ladder out last night adjusting all the rods and securing them, so all it takes is just the hanging. What a lovely Labor Day weekend this turned out to be.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Customer Service
Are church's in the business of customer service? People show up with the expectation of getting something. If they are a paying customer is the expectation higher?
I was in a store this last week shopping with my husband. Hundreds of people crowded the isles of this busy Labor Day weekend. Sales personal scurrying about to assist and help the customers, and I even heard one salesman say this..."thanks for coming in today, it's kind of busy and crazy but I would love to serve you." I watched the lady smile, take a seat, and wait. When was the last time I heard a church employee say something like this? I stood there as I waited on my husband as he decided if the belt on sale was a good quality. I pondered the exchange between the sales person and the customer and realized the internal struggles I have with the church in general. No particular church, but just years of growing up and around church.
When I go to a store, there is the expectation of some kind of service, even if I am not buying today there is still that expectation. You get what you pay for. A big box discount store is going to offer a better price, less service, and you are kind of on your own. And on most days the general public gets it. A smaller store is going to be able to offer a little better service, more one on one care and the customer can leave with the hope of a better product or service. Except if you are shopping in a bigger store like Macy's or Nordstroms. Places where you may pay a little extra and truly get the service and attention. Is it wrong for a person to expect some attention? Is it wrong for a person to expect some care? In a store we think not. We are giving them our business, we want a decent product and the mindset is that we are to be served. The employee is making an income and wants to build their sales, their business so there is the incentive to offer the best kind of service possible.
Why is church so different? We pay the pastor's and the church, large or small may have a staff in which they pay. Are church's not training the employees in the area of customer service. Even if they are not buying today, or even donating (in the way of tithe or volunteering) to the cause of building the business, or in this case building God's Kingdom?
I had a pretty remarkable business for the better part of ten years. In that time I had a staff of about 12 employees who worked for me longer than five years. After five years the structure of that business changed, customer's were not as happy and staff turned over regularly. Our original mission statement was to treat the $5.00 customer just like the $5,000.00 customer. Take time to ask your customer questions about themselves. Learn about your customer, so you know how to serve them better. My $7.50 an hour employees treated my customer's the same way that my $15.50 an hour employees did. I learned something very valuable is that people want to be known and cared for. Even if my employee making the lower hourly rate could produce sales and a customer base as the same as the higher paid employee the reality is that each employee even in the middle of the pay scale learned the value of serving customers. Meeting them where they were at, returning phone calls, answering questions and serving. When new management came in with more experience in sales and about 15 years older than me our statement changed over night. It went pretty much like this "you can't please everyone so why try". Employees were held to very little accountability towards the customer, phone calls took longer to return and I had to hire a customer service person just to answer the phone for upset customers. Sales were dramatically compromised. Within a year and half and the turn of over 72 employees in that time, which is very costly for a company, I went back to the old standards of running business. Once again, employees were staying longer, customers were feeling cared for and we no longer needed to have that person sitting at a desk just to answer those frustrating customer calls. Amazingly sales began to climb. A very costly learning experience for me as a business owner, but very rewarding to know that the Bible was the better source for running a business than the experience of another who did not really understand the heart of Jesus and His service to others.
Back to my original question. Are church's in the business of customer service? Are the church people recognizing their job? It's value to the customer's who come in or do we say..."we are not responsible". I get the feeling, through observation and through my own volunteering that we can show up, do the job that needs to get done and leave. Calls or emails are not returned because really people I am not your keeper and God has to show you the way not me, or the person who is on the payroll. So what happens next is the tithe-er pulls their contributions because they are not being served so well. They are thought to be kind of weird, or not so eloquent socially. I stand back and watch this often. Or someone is on the payroll of the church and that position does not require the service of people as a singular project, but to serve the people as a whole.
Could you imagine a sales person at Macy's standing on the counter and saying something like "attention Macy shoppers, I am here to show you the best way to shop the store. Open your catalog if you have it, take some notes, and then you are on your own." And then when you have questions, the sales person's hand goes up to pause you, and you are not even able to get a question in, as it's just not in the job description. It is sad that most people get more love and service from a store than they do in a church.
I may get into some trouble with some of you reading this. As Christians we like to use the phrase..."oh but I am not perfect" or "we are not perfect" so that excuses the behavior. Avoiding a customer and not helping in a store means you lose your job. So what excuse do any of us really have if our intentions and hearts are to serve. What motivates us to service without the excuse of "well I am not so perfect". Dear me none of us are perfect so we all need to get over that statement all together.
I have watched the church people staffers pull away, dodge out back or side doors to avoid the crowds. I have heard these same people say things like "it is not my responsibility to carry this person along" and yet what was the heart of Jesus. To serve, to meet people where they are at. Jesus, in the Bible asks many questions and answers many questions. He wants to know who just touched his garment. The crowd would box him in for the times he served the mass's and even He did take breaks from the crowd, much like a lunch room in a building he did get away, but when he was back on the sales floor He was serving. Maybe His sales floor was a dirt road and what He was selling was Living Water, New Life and well at the end of the day...more people would come. He could not do it alone and serve the people so he brought the Twelve around Him to help out. I think Jesus was 100% in the business of customer service.
My husband and I are paying customers. We tithe, and we give to those whom we see giving out some true Jesus kind of customer service. So as I ponder these things I am reminded of this:
Philippians 2:1-5
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and in purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
This may sound kind of silly for some, but this was the verse I clung to when running my business. Did I do it right every single day? No, but my intentions were truly to do my best and God blessed that business and my life in ways that would take an entire book to write. I don't think it matters if we are a church, a store, a life to live. We are called to serve as Jesus did. I think, in our imperfections if our intentions are going in the direction of serving God gives so much mercy and grace for the bumbles.
Thanks Jesus for being my example to walk along that dirt road with you selling the most amazing of all...God Himself.
I was in a store this last week shopping with my husband. Hundreds of people crowded the isles of this busy Labor Day weekend. Sales personal scurrying about to assist and help the customers, and I even heard one salesman say this..."thanks for coming in today, it's kind of busy and crazy but I would love to serve you." I watched the lady smile, take a seat, and wait. When was the last time I heard a church employee say something like this? I stood there as I waited on my husband as he decided if the belt on sale was a good quality. I pondered the exchange between the sales person and the customer and realized the internal struggles I have with the church in general. No particular church, but just years of growing up and around church.
When I go to a store, there is the expectation of some kind of service, even if I am not buying today there is still that expectation. You get what you pay for. A big box discount store is going to offer a better price, less service, and you are kind of on your own. And on most days the general public gets it. A smaller store is going to be able to offer a little better service, more one on one care and the customer can leave with the hope of a better product or service. Except if you are shopping in a bigger store like Macy's or Nordstroms. Places where you may pay a little extra and truly get the service and attention. Is it wrong for a person to expect some attention? Is it wrong for a person to expect some care? In a store we think not. We are giving them our business, we want a decent product and the mindset is that we are to be served. The employee is making an income and wants to build their sales, their business so there is the incentive to offer the best kind of service possible.
Why is church so different? We pay the pastor's and the church, large or small may have a staff in which they pay. Are church's not training the employees in the area of customer service. Even if they are not buying today, or even donating (in the way of tithe or volunteering) to the cause of building the business, or in this case building God's Kingdom?
I had a pretty remarkable business for the better part of ten years. In that time I had a staff of about 12 employees who worked for me longer than five years. After five years the structure of that business changed, customer's were not as happy and staff turned over regularly. Our original mission statement was to treat the $5.00 customer just like the $5,000.00 customer. Take time to ask your customer questions about themselves. Learn about your customer, so you know how to serve them better. My $7.50 an hour employees treated my customer's the same way that my $15.50 an hour employees did. I learned something very valuable is that people want to be known and cared for. Even if my employee making the lower hourly rate could produce sales and a customer base as the same as the higher paid employee the reality is that each employee even in the middle of the pay scale learned the value of serving customers. Meeting them where they were at, returning phone calls, answering questions and serving. When new management came in with more experience in sales and about 15 years older than me our statement changed over night. It went pretty much like this "you can't please everyone so why try". Employees were held to very little accountability towards the customer, phone calls took longer to return and I had to hire a customer service person just to answer the phone for upset customers. Sales were dramatically compromised. Within a year and half and the turn of over 72 employees in that time, which is very costly for a company, I went back to the old standards of running business. Once again, employees were staying longer, customers were feeling cared for and we no longer needed to have that person sitting at a desk just to answer those frustrating customer calls. Amazingly sales began to climb. A very costly learning experience for me as a business owner, but very rewarding to know that the Bible was the better source for running a business than the experience of another who did not really understand the heart of Jesus and His service to others.
Back to my original question. Are church's in the business of customer service? Are the church people recognizing their job? It's value to the customer's who come in or do we say..."we are not responsible". I get the feeling, through observation and through my own volunteering that we can show up, do the job that needs to get done and leave. Calls or emails are not returned because really people I am not your keeper and God has to show you the way not me, or the person who is on the payroll. So what happens next is the tithe-er pulls their contributions because they are not being served so well. They are thought to be kind of weird, or not so eloquent socially. I stand back and watch this often. Or someone is on the payroll of the church and that position does not require the service of people as a singular project, but to serve the people as a whole.
Could you imagine a sales person at Macy's standing on the counter and saying something like "attention Macy shoppers, I am here to show you the best way to shop the store. Open your catalog if you have it, take some notes, and then you are on your own." And then when you have questions, the sales person's hand goes up to pause you, and you are not even able to get a question in, as it's just not in the job description. It is sad that most people get more love and service from a store than they do in a church.
I may get into some trouble with some of you reading this. As Christians we like to use the phrase..."oh but I am not perfect" or "we are not perfect" so that excuses the behavior. Avoiding a customer and not helping in a store means you lose your job. So what excuse do any of us really have if our intentions and hearts are to serve. What motivates us to service without the excuse of "well I am not so perfect". Dear me none of us are perfect so we all need to get over that statement all together.
I have watched the church people staffers pull away, dodge out back or side doors to avoid the crowds. I have heard these same people say things like "it is not my responsibility to carry this person along" and yet what was the heart of Jesus. To serve, to meet people where they are at. Jesus, in the Bible asks many questions and answers many questions. He wants to know who just touched his garment. The crowd would box him in for the times he served the mass's and even He did take breaks from the crowd, much like a lunch room in a building he did get away, but when he was back on the sales floor He was serving. Maybe His sales floor was a dirt road and what He was selling was Living Water, New Life and well at the end of the day...more people would come. He could not do it alone and serve the people so he brought the Twelve around Him to help out. I think Jesus was 100% in the business of customer service.
My husband and I are paying customers. We tithe, and we give to those whom we see giving out some true Jesus kind of customer service. So as I ponder these things I am reminded of this:
Philippians 2:1-5
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and in purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
This may sound kind of silly for some, but this was the verse I clung to when running my business. Did I do it right every single day? No, but my intentions were truly to do my best and God blessed that business and my life in ways that would take an entire book to write. I don't think it matters if we are a church, a store, a life to live. We are called to serve as Jesus did. I think, in our imperfections if our intentions are going in the direction of serving God gives so much mercy and grace for the bumbles.
Thanks Jesus for being my example to walk along that dirt road with you selling the most amazing of all...God Himself.
Friday, September 4, 2009
I am one of those people. You know the kind you see in a grocery store, children look adorable and mother has not taken notice of herself, just woke up and threw on some clothes. I am wearing red warm up pants, and an aqua blue t-shirt.(I am told this color looks good on me, so how bad could I really look?) I had intended on going upstairs to brush my hair, teeth and get dressed for the day. But all the boys were in perfect cooperation getting shoes and socks on and into the car.
Any change in the process might have delayed getting out the door by another fifteen minutes. I did not think I looked that bad until I saw, not one, but two people I know at the grocery store. I had two extra boys, so there I was with 5 boys seven and under. Frazzled hair and a joyful spirit.
I always think it is funny the light in which other see me in. One woman, a regular person in my life asked..."Elizabeth is that you?" Of course, why would it not be me? She is a friend who is always well put together and the times I typically see her I am also put together. I said something funny like..."and to think I am not even gardening, no excuse to be looking like this about town" and she said "yes, but you are wearing your Gucci watch which cancels out your dreadful outfit." She did promise to take me shopping for quick throw on clothes.
Another gal was from church, and smiled at my handful of boys, cart full of groceries and tried to chat with me. Standing in a busy parking lot I did not have the time or eyes to focus on her to keep little boys safe. I hope she was not offended when I smiled and said I had to go. I got boys and groceries loaded in the van and off we went chatting and singing "One Finger One Thumb Keep Moving". If you don't know this email me. It's a great song with hand motions that kids love.
When I got home, and things settled down I looked in the mirror and just busted up laughing. The back of my head was true "bed-head". My feet were dirty from running in the backyard before breakfast with the boys...which are just like puppies and need to be let out before breakfast. My shirt and stretchy pants were no more a match than, than, peanut butter and tuna. Yet this is the way in which I went about town. How did I even have time to put a watch on I do not know.
All this reminds me of something more profound and important than my lack of hair brushing and clothing choice. It made me start to open my eyes around me and realize that life is really so simple. Is the simplicity mistaken for lack of care. I could tell in the eyes of the others the look of "that poor woman". Yet I was having a blast at the store with all these boys. They were behaving beautifully, we were experiencing the grocery store with each item being thrown into the cart. Un-inhibited and enjoying life today.
My new neighbors were out and displaying their dinner with the hope of a blessing from Buddha. It was explained a little to me, which was very cool and later once the blessing was received they shared some homemade spring rolls. The best I have ever had. My first instinct when I saw them was to gather the boys, run inside and put on something to...you know...impress. Something to go along with that GUCCI watch I was still wearing. Why? Why would I do that? And then I thought and realized that the simplicity of the moment would be lost into the world of getting it all together. Sometimes I don't have it all together. My exterior may look like it's all together, but years of shopping at Nordstrom taught me that. With an interior that was hurting, it's always easy to mask. But today the interior is joyful, blessed, and humbled to take a breath in each new day. I did not need to run and get my look on. What look? Sheesh I have to face it that even Nordstrom could not turn me into a fashionista.
I ramble on, I know, but to fall into the day with less savvy is more rewarding that what GUCCI could ever do for me spirit and my soul. The joy in my identity being in Jesus expands the exterior and interior I hope. I might pause the next time I put on aqua and reddy striped strectchies...........
Any change in the process might have delayed getting out the door by another fifteen minutes. I did not think I looked that bad until I saw, not one, but two people I know at the grocery store. I had two extra boys, so there I was with 5 boys seven and under. Frazzled hair and a joyful spirit.
I always think it is funny the light in which other see me in. One woman, a regular person in my life asked..."Elizabeth is that you?" Of course, why would it not be me? She is a friend who is always well put together and the times I typically see her I am also put together. I said something funny like..."and to think I am not even gardening, no excuse to be looking like this about town" and she said "yes, but you are wearing your Gucci watch which cancels out your dreadful outfit." She did promise to take me shopping for quick throw on clothes.
Another gal was from church, and smiled at my handful of boys, cart full of groceries and tried to chat with me. Standing in a busy parking lot I did not have the time or eyes to focus on her to keep little boys safe. I hope she was not offended when I smiled and said I had to go. I got boys and groceries loaded in the van and off we went chatting and singing "One Finger One Thumb Keep Moving". If you don't know this email me. It's a great song with hand motions that kids love.
When I got home, and things settled down I looked in the mirror and just busted up laughing. The back of my head was true "bed-head". My feet were dirty from running in the backyard before breakfast with the boys...which are just like puppies and need to be let out before breakfast. My shirt and stretchy pants were no more a match than, than, peanut butter and tuna. Yet this is the way in which I went about town. How did I even have time to put a watch on I do not know.
All this reminds me of something more profound and important than my lack of hair brushing and clothing choice. It made me start to open my eyes around me and realize that life is really so simple. Is the simplicity mistaken for lack of care. I could tell in the eyes of the others the look of "that poor woman". Yet I was having a blast at the store with all these boys. They were behaving beautifully, we were experiencing the grocery store with each item being thrown into the cart. Un-inhibited and enjoying life today.
My new neighbors were out and displaying their dinner with the hope of a blessing from Buddha. It was explained a little to me, which was very cool and later once the blessing was received they shared some homemade spring rolls. The best I have ever had. My first instinct when I saw them was to gather the boys, run inside and put on something to...you know...impress. Something to go along with that GUCCI watch I was still wearing. Why? Why would I do that? And then I thought and realized that the simplicity of the moment would be lost into the world of getting it all together. Sometimes I don't have it all together. My exterior may look like it's all together, but years of shopping at Nordstrom taught me that. With an interior that was hurting, it's always easy to mask. But today the interior is joyful, blessed, and humbled to take a breath in each new day. I did not need to run and get my look on. What look? Sheesh I have to face it that even Nordstrom could not turn me into a fashionista.
I ramble on, I know, but to fall into the day with less savvy is more rewarding that what GUCCI could ever do for me spirit and my soul. The joy in my identity being in Jesus expands the exterior and interior I hope. I might pause the next time I put on aqua and reddy striped strectchies...........
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Mom, You Are So Weird
She does not like much attention. This is her birthday month. Leaving the end of being a teenager. She will most likely come out of her room, after having read this and say something like..."mom, you are so weird"...or..."motherrrrrrr, you are so weird". I asked one of her good friends the other day if she calls her mom weird and she said yes, so I have come to learn that it's an endearing kind of phrase.
Feeling a special kind of caring is especially tender when it comes from a child. You know that little squeeze of your hand and a little person saying I love you. She has never been like that. As a matter of fact I have many framed pictures and files of her love for her mommy, and I have never ached to have that random act of a hug and an I love you. It's not so much her. She is a doer of her love, and a writer and both are endearing to me.
In the early morning she was a doer that touched my heart. I think it's days like today when God shows me that I have not totally messed up my kids. She had to go to jury duty. An act of being an adult, and that she is. It was about 40 minutes away and she could have spent two hours on two or three buses to get there, but instead she kindly asked if I might take her, and I said yes. On one condition. That she get her brothers up, in the car and wake me up and hand me the car keys. It's summertime and who wants to get up, dressed, and out the door at the crack of dawn. She agreed.
About 6:30am there was a knock at my bedroom door. There stood my sweet daughter holding me the perfect cup of brewed coffee with just the right amount of milk. I looked at her bleary eyed and said thanks. She said it's time to go and I said "lets get the boys out of bed". She said they were already loaded in the van. Wow, I did not hear a thing. I got into the drivers seat and looked back into the van at three dressed little boys all eating their toasted bagels with peanut butter. I looked at her sweet face and could not say a big enough thanks. She dressed, fed, and got them into the car without so much as a peep.
She told me once that sometimes I don't notice what she has done, and I notice only what she has not done. The day she told me that I started taking notice of the heart of a servant. Not just that teenager who might ploy to get what she wants because she does not ask for much, but truly a heart that serves others. Not just her family, but others too. She's balanced in that she does not compromise her school, or her commitments for overly serving, but even in the smallest ways to stand back and see her heart this early morning I smile. As she is leaving the teenager years with this being her birthday month I shall take some older journal entrees and share more of what my journey as a mother of a daughter has been.
Pie-Sweety, if you read this.....well I am always in acceptance the endearing "oh mother". And truly you blessed my heart. Thanks
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