Quiet observations....

Do you ever sit quietly watching your children play? Listening to the creative world that surrounds them and realize just how brilliant, gifted, and talented they are.  As I sit and watch in wonder at each child and and ask what God is going to do in this child's life.

Today I was laying on the floor, looking across the floor, under the table and to the other side where Emerson was playing. It's his favorite spot in the house. He knows right where to go when he needs a break from me or his brothers. He was laying on his tummy just gazing outside and humming along with Raffi in the background. Not a worry or care in the world. I watched him for about ten minutes. During this time the heat came on. He was only a couple of inches from the vent. To watch him explore the vent, the air coming through, and then squish his face down onto the vent trying to look in was truly amazing. Why? Why is such a simple process so amazing to me? Because he is my son, he is aware of his surroundings and is curious to explore and learn. He is just simply brilliant.

I laid there and started to pray over this little fellow. Emerson had no clue I was on the other side of the table watching him. As I was praying I became so overwhelmed with how God views me. Like his child He watches in quiet observation and smiles on my life. He thinks I am amazing and has blessed me with the curiosities to learn and grow. I thought how loved I truly am, and I get that in my life. Pretty much on most days, regardless of my mood I do get that, but for some reason just sitting and watching Emerson and relating that moment to how God must sit and watch I realized that He is just not some proud papa in the sky. He is in every way quietly observing my life, encouraging me along and disciplining me when I need it.

Emerson finally heard me and gave me that one finger wave which is so adorable. So I looked up to heaven and gave God that same wave and thanked him for the reminder of his love and care for me. If you are reading this, take a moment and finger wave that wave of connecting with God and saying ...yep I get it. Emerson does not doubt he is loved and that finger wave is our special thing. Blessings, Elizabeth

Miracle Monday

It is once again time for Miracle Monday hosted by our wonderful friend Beth at this sight. http://beth-amomslife.blogspot.com/ . I know, I need to figure out Mr. Linky, but this is the best I can do in the moment.

God continues to impress upon my heart that each day is full us His glorious wonder. Miracles are around us. Today my heart was heavy with a situationt that had really started last fall. God has moved our family into a greater place of knowing Him and getting that there will be storms to pass through. We passed through a big one last fall. As our hearts have been working on forgiveness and healing in this matter I am continually blessed with little things that remind me that God is watching over my hearts concerning this matter.

An incident came up this past week that brought back some of the emotion of last fall. I know it's not of God, and thus the confusion over our hearts. My husband and I have prayed over this and I have such a sense of knowing He is really caring for my heart. This morning I woke up thinking over things. It's not something I can just pick up the phone and yack away with a friend over. Yet, being the kind of woman who likes to process outward I am feeling a little locked up inside my head. So I just prayed this morning that God would prevent my flesh from speaking ill will about anyone circling this situaiton and that my life would simply continue to walk in His spirit. The wieghts of my heart have lifted and I realized that I would not give the enemy any more room in my brain.

Then the phone rings and it's a women who years earlier walked through a simular storm. I have maybe once spoke with her on the phone, maybe not even once. But she called for a completely unrelated matter, but our hearts connected and the love, care, and encouragement she shared was what I needed. I needed it today, not last fall, not yesterday, but today. I think this is how God works his miracles. He knows the timing of when our hearts are ready to accept His divine interventions. He knows the miracle for the moment and if our hearts are open to receieve He does give and bless us.

I believe this to be one of His many miracles, and this is just something blessed me so much today. How can this not be a miracle. Someone calls me out of the blue just at the moment I am praying over the need to process outward. Thanks God!!!

Special Prayers for Ethan

I have shared often about my third child Ethan. He is deaf, but through the brilliance of a few men, he is wearing Cochlear Implants, which have allowed him to hear through technological means.

He did not start hearing until he was three years old. He will be six this month. He has holes in his language and in his understanding of anything that is not concrete. It often takes much more dialogue, any kind of parallels I can bring in to help him along. He is doing excellent in school, as education at his age is very concrete in the process of learning.

Last night he was afraid of going to sleep. I can not imagine hearing absolutely nothing, and then closing your eyes. This is common for deaf children. So we have allowed him to sleep with his devices on, and we go and take them off after he has fallen into sleep.

I asked him if we should pray and ask Jesus to take away the fear of going to sleep and he started crying and said that he did not have Jesus in his heart. I said, you can ask Jesus into your heart. He responded with more tears and said he was not ready to leave the earth. He still wanted to be part of our family. I realized that his complete understanding of having Jesus in our hearts was that we would go to heaven. For him and his thought process that meant that he would then be going to heaven. He said he did not want to die now.

I explained that mommy and papa have Jesus in our hearts and we are still on earth, his sister and his older brother, all have Jesus in their hearts and they are still here. That if there was an accident and you died then yes if you have Jesus in your heart you will got to heaven, but for now Jesus has lots of work for us to here on earth.

I began to weep over how his handicap will challenge him in his process of learning. As he gets older, this will become less as he has still had to go through all the levels of learning language. My heart just ached to see his heart so desire to have Jesus, but he could not get over the fact that heaven was the next step. I asked him if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart, but he could not grasp that he would still be here, on earth with his family, so he said no.

I pray over all of my children, but today I pray more for Ethan as he struggles with his passion to know Jesus, takes time to read his little Bible, works hard as he learns his Bible passages from school, and yet will not ask him into his heart for the fear that this is the final step before heaven. I know God is going to use this boy in amazing ways, and I am here to guide him, pray over him, and live my life as an example of who He is. Thanks for reading and please pray a special little prayer for Ethan.

Seven MEME about me....tagged..yeppers!!

So, this tagging thing. As I become more familiar with blogging I am learning the tricks of the trade. Tagging...kind of like frozen in space, you get tagged now you can move away from where you were. Well I am not moving. My children are all in bed by 5:36pm. I should be sitting on my bed naked and waiting for my husband, but everyone including me is beat. So here I sit on my cozy bed and realized that I have been tagged by http://mzzterryz.blogspot.com/.

I am to write seven things that are random about me. Since most of you do not know me in real time I could say seven things that are quite ordinary, but new to you. Let me think...hmmmm.....

1. I am a tuna fish and pototoe chip addict. Together for lunch every single day for years. Not so much these days, but when I can I indulge.

2. I am a chocolate chip cookie addict. One a day. Seriously if you could smell through the computer you would smell chocolate chip cookies. I bake them each week, and hide my share to enjoy one at a time.

3. I have used Ivory soap and Banana Boat after sun care on my face since I was 14 years old. That would be 28 years and people always ask me how I stay looking so young. So now you know.

4. I am an orphan. Both of my biological parents have passed away. I seek out older woman for extra mothering, which I still very much need.

5. I am very passionate about my faith in the Lord.

6. I am currently 28 pounds over weight, but last summer I weighed 30 pounds more than I do now. Three boys in five years can do that to an older woman bearing children. LOL.

7. I never spell check or edit. And it's obvious most days.

Grocery Store Check Outs

I have decided today that I am done monitoring my children at the grocery store check out counter. I did something that is not quite my outward character. Meaning I may have thought it one hundred times, but would never act on it. Well today I acted on it.

I went to buy the final little things for the boy’s birthday party this Sunday. I only have the two younger boys. They are both very pleasant and great to take anywhere as they are pretty easy. That is until we get to the check out counter and they are faced, at eye level with all the choices of chocolates and candy. So there I stand trying to unload my cart, watch my boys and feel my stress level going up as I try to keep their little mitts off the candy. And then out of my mouth. I say it. And I say it in a very fun-loving kind way, with a tone that says every so sweetly don’t mess with me.

“Boys you are welcome to all that candy. For some reason this store things I can unload a cart, pay for my groceries and keep close eye on the biggest temptation to all children across the world. So it’s there free for the taking.” I smile, look at the older checker lady and the line behind me. I then say “and I would like to see one manager walk up to me and ask me to pay for the smorgasbord they have provided for my children.” “How much do I owe you? Yes, I would like cash back.” To which I pay for my groceries, thank the boys for occupying themselves so nicely and walk on out.

Now, I did mention the ease of the two younger boys. They new better not to open or eat any of the candy, but they sure had fun touching and holding all the candy. Eric played counting games with Emerson and Emerson was in candy heaven just looking and touching it all. I am completely rebelling this scenario in which parents across America have to face. I realize it’s the last ditch effort to get parents to pony up a few more dollars or cents at the child who is going ballistic over wanting the candy. But I am saying no more. I am saying out loud that this is wrong and torture is a very sideways manner.

And if I am ever charged with stealing or something like that I will higher an attorney and charge them with pain and suffering on all accounts relating to this matter. (Okay that was the inward processing sneaking outside my brain).

Parental Showboating

Parental Showboating

Showboating; one who seeks attention by ostentatious behavior; showoff.

I read an article this week in one of our local parent magazines that really made me mad. I have thought about it since Sunday (when I read the article) and have been rolling the words around. I read the article a few more times and decided that I understand the perspective of the writer, but she failed to produce the other side of the coin.

The author talked about how she seems to observe countless parents who seem to speak loudly in public places about how well their children are behaving. The proud parent then casually looking around to see if anyone else is noticing what a great parent they are. Her thought process seems to be that as parents we need to see that parenting is hard. We need to see the reality of parenting a difficult child. We need to see the stress in our faces as we chase down a child who does not listen, instead of these publicly proud parents.

I read the article three times and I asked myself if I do this. Am I a showboating kind of parent? Then I asked myself if I observed some of these kinds of parents? And I then understood why this article rattled me. Yes I am that kind of parent, only I have never thought of it to be showboating. As I raise my voice in delight over good behavior it’s because it’s a moment of obedience after what seems like weeks of day in and day out of trying to bring home a simple act of obedience. It’s that braggy and proud moment when your child climbs to the top of the play mountain, feeling so proud of him. Yes, I am a good parent. Are my acts of outward enthusiasm there for the taking by other parents? ABSOLUTELY!!

But then some of my most profound parenting moments have come from watching a stranger take the time to enjoy, do a little dance, and embrace ever so proudly their own child. I am not talking about the braggy kind of parent who says, “oh look at junior he is the best kids in the park, his teeth are pearly white because he brushed five times a day, and his diet is nothing processed”. I am talking about that parent who yells across the play ground…”jon-jon you did it baby, you made it across the cross bars.” Every parent struggles, it is a given.
I personally have never thought that these people are braggy or acting in a way to draw attention to themselves, but if they are I am typically the first to compliment, or ask questions about how they taught their child, or observing how they talked to their child.

I come from some really bad early upbringings. I was not just from dysfunction; it was just plain and simple…bad!! For me to watch and observe is a blessing in my process of parenting. So I say hats off to those Parental Showboating types. You never know what struggling mom is going to hear you and think better of how they parent, learn from you and may even come along side to tell you that you are doing a terrific job. Blessings to all the moms, elizabeth

Is it really a miracle...?

I have been thinking about Miracle Monday all day. You can find out more at Beth's sight. http://beth-amomslife.blogspot.com/

I was trying to figure out in everyday life all that God brings to me that I may miss. Is He walking by and I have my head somewhere else. Did he just place His hand on me and simply bless me. Did I drive two slow for the guy behind me, only to miss catastrophe in front of me?

As I have shared I have a deaf child. Many circumstances brought him into a hearing world. That was my first Miracle Monday testimony. You can scroll back and find. I ask myself if Emerson was a reminder to trust in God. Very few people know this about Emerson. He could not hear within a couple of weeks of bringing him home. I could not admit it to myself or say it out loud for so long.

Emerson was born a normal healthy baby. He pasted his newborn hearing test. Ethan has a condition called Enlarged Vestibular Aqueducts. Hearing is lost at a rapid rate, so even a positive screening was no indication of what could be…with Emerson. I prayed that Emerson would be fine. However all was not fine. It was the same pattern as Ethan. At first I chose not to pray. This may sound very strange from a passionate praying woman, but I thought okay God here we go again. What is the point of praying?

From the time Emerson was three weeks old, he came along with me on several business trips with an assistant. The same kinds of comments came with Emerson, as they did with Ethan. “Wow, he can sleep through anything.” “He does not even startle at loud noises.” “This baby is sure quiet and easy.” And then Vena, my assistant said it out loud while we were in San Francisco. She had been with me for about six weeks and her job was to care for Emerson while I was working with a client. So she knew Emerson well. She asked me if I feared that he may be deaf too. Emerson was about ten weeks at this time.

I told her that all my babies were easy going and Emerson was no different. I came home and told David what Vena had said. He said he was already thinking the same and I knew I was thinking it. For me, it was like this; if I don’t talk to God about this, maybe “this” is not really happening. We did all the pots and pans banging, purposely slammed door with him close by, and he failed all our home tests. One of the first indications with Ethan was car trips. He would fuss and the sound of my voice produced zero changes in his crying. The radio did not quiet him to listen, nothing. This was the case with Emerson too.

We scheduled a visit to the doctor. A week before his visit, I just started praying that he NOT be deaf. I told God that my heart, my marriage, my family…ME could not handle this. I begged Him through tears. I woke up everyday and through out the day would pray over Emerson. When he was nursing I would look into those precious eyes and tell him it will be okay. God is going to touch your ears.

The night before his appointment our family prayed over Emerson’s sleeping little body. My heart was aching, but during the prayer, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I felt such a peace. I felt that Emerson was healed in that moment. When we were done praying I thanked my husband for putting his hand on my shoulder as he was a comfort. He said he did not put his hand on me. It was then I knew Emerson was healed.

The next morning at his appointment he had perfect hearing. All the sounds of home would startle him and the most amazing thing was when he fussed in the car and I spoke. He stopped fussing and was quiet.

I realize that day and even today it was God teaching me to keep myself close to Him. The outcome is not what is important it’s who we are from one day to the next. He is always watching out for us. Are we taking notice? Are we aware of how His breath is breathing on us? He is that close. I felt for the first time in my life God answered my prayer in a heartbeat and already knew that I could not handle another deaf child. Thanks for reading, elizabeth

What Happened?

This little boy did start out with his shirt on, neatly tucked under all his special blankets, Clifford his red doggy tucked under his arm. This is what we found an hour later. Emerson cracks us up in so many way. His newest phrase..."what happen". All day long this is what he says. He was at a friends house today, and even she said he drove her bonkers with "what happen". How could this face drive anyone bonkers.

He just turned two and this is his three year old version of saying why. What happened mommy?I am looking at him all laid back in his bed and guess what I am saying...what happened.

Don't you just love the little people in your life. I sure do. This is child number five and I am so blessed by his little life every single day.

April Fools Lovie!!

April 1, 2008

This evening I did a practical joke on my husband. I am still laughing and he is still grumbling…with a smile on his face. He too thinks it was a good one.

My husband snacks from about 7pm-10pm every single night. He’s tall, fast metabolism and well anything with sweetness in it is always gobbled up by him. If I have something special for him, I always put a plate of whatever yummy it is in the plate cupboard. That is a sacred place. Every family member knows that treats on that shelf are for Papa.

I had a meeting this evening. As I was walking out the door, I whispered that there was something special for him waiting. Actually when I was trying to tell him I started laughing, and then pretended Ethan had said something funny.

Ten minutes into my drive my cell phone rings. It’s him. He has eaten one of my special treats and starts questioning me.

“What was in that cookie? Was it toothpaste? Tell me you did not feed me toothpaste? Blek..oooh…I can’t get the taste out of my mouth”

I was laughing so hard. I bought little shortbread cookies and a tube of white toothpaste and made a little cookie sandwich, using the toothpaste to look like a cream filling. I made up only five, to make it look like it was what was left over.

I was laughing so hard I could not spit out Aprils Fools Lovie!!!
I am thinking I might want to watch my back or the food I eat for the rest of my life. But then look at his face, does this look like someone who would get mad at me for very long? Not on our life. He's a terrific sport.