Cleansing and Purging My Soul

“What a wonderful day of being blessed and cleansing and purging my soul. It's hard sometimes, but it's done. Over, moving on….”

Today, a dear new friend sitting on my sofa and hearing the intimacies of my heart. She does not offer wisdom or words. She bows her head and prays. The holiness of God and His love and care pours in.

I did not tell her how to pray for me, she just did. Her prayers and words speaking the freedom in pain that God gives. It only comes from God, because on my own I would not be able to sail off into the afternoon and go swimming with my boys and friends.  A much needed day to breath in friendship, the fresh  air and love back my life as it is.  Living in the joy of what my life is, who is in it and how I live it.

Earlier in the weekend another orchestrated blessing. Desperately needing to be with close friends. and one friend drives in from Portland to play, hang out and spend two days with me and the boys. Her timing of friendship and extending her ears to listen and heart to just love me right where I am. 

There is truly joy in hardships. My joy, in the midst of private storms keep my sails up, and moving forward.  I don't try to be strong and I don't pretend to be strong. I ask God for comfort, for peace and the blessings of friendships bring exactly what I need.  My faith is made strong in this storm. The strength anyone may see is simply God's hand holding me up through friendships, faith, and loving care.

God cares for our hearts. He knows our story and we do not have to be held captive to our situation or circumstance. Seek Him in all things. Cast you cares upon Him. I did that at 1am two nights ago, and last week, and this morning and right now. Casting over and over because I am an imperfect example of not doing it all at once. And each time I cast, HE gives me a greater peace.  

As the weeks unfold, a new chapter is going to be written. The pages will ring with the awesome and amazing wonders of God. May your heart learn, grow, and be strengthened. Blessings, Elizabeth

The Give AND Takeaway

This post was written on a Facebook Note page in December 2010. I thought it appropiate to share here:

The Give And Takeaway by Elizabeth Traub

There may be some who are offended by this note. If you are, perhaps it's really the convictions of your heart and the truths in which I share.

I have been overcome more these past few years with the amount of "taking" there is.  Many reports, advertisements, TV, movies, magazines and headlines promote "It is about You", "You do deserve More", "Take it while you Can".  There is a huge problem with this.  An even greater one when I watch those takers take and take and take.  This is for those who claim Christ and believe that the Word of God is the Way, the Truth , and the Life.

The Word of God states in a couple of the Ten Commandants:
Exodus 20:4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol"
Exodus 20:15 "You shall not steal."

I have watched for several years, kept quiet, stewed, brewed and chased my thoughts in circles as to how to address this situation happening among my Christian brothers and sisters.  It happens every single week, every single day, and often with a sense of entitlement which distorts and blurs the real heart of a situation.

Let me explain.  A person is in a financial situation and can not pay their bills. Heart-fully they share with another Christian brother or sister their situation.  Many going into a private meeting with a church leader to share as well.   That generous giving soul hears the heart of the situation and opens up their check book to help out this "prayerful" request.  The bleeding heart takes the money, pays the rent, or pays for the car repair, or pays for the food to feed the family with that money.  A few days later, that needy person is sporting a new handbag, shoes, and makes a statement how all of a sudden "God has blessed me".  No, that is where the distortion is.  Did God bless them with funds to be irresponsible with, so that next month the hand goes out again for help?  No. Do not be fooled.  God truly knows the heart and the intentions and the genuine needs.  This is stealing, lying and cheating. I can't think of what else it may be.  The world has taught a lie, which often is embraced as truth, which it is not.

If you have mismanaged your resources, your income, and now find yourself in trouble, I believe that God will honor the honesty of your heart, the confession and then your intention to work in that area of your life. You misrepresent your situation when you claim to have just fallen on hard times when in fact you have mishandled your resources and continue to take and take and take because a  kind heart has not heard the truth of your situation. It is a lie to express your hardships if you were out wining and dining the weekend before. If you have updated your technology for better, downloaded more stuff, oh it's just a few dollars, but it adds up.

Times are hard right now. I know that and count my blessings for a warm cozy home, and food on the table. I see a great many people stealing and lying to the church and receiving the goodness of a church wanting to help.Churches that understand the heart of Jesus to serve others.  What do you give back to that church who has helped you? Or do you take, take, take, and never give anything back?  I hope that if you are reading this, if you are a taker, that your heart would be convicted.

Matthew 25:38 "When was it we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing"  Jesus never turned away those in need, nor should we.  How that need is represented is where the concern comes in.

A couple of years ago more than half a dozen families shared with me their devastating loss's and asked where to go for immediate help.  These are the very same people who give to others, share their resources when and however they can, and in their time of need felt embarrassed to even have to ask for prayer or help.  The church came alongside to help, friends came along to help.  These families had no choice but to TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.  And as time has strengthened their situation, these are the same people who now come alongside others to help and in turn GIVE, GIVE, GIVE.

Perhaps you may have not been taught, or it was never role modeled what it looks like to give back.  We have become so self consumed, that many of us do not even have time to come alongside and help the church, a neighbor, or a friend anymore.  The very hand that feeds your heart, your soul, and many churches today feeding you, offering an amazing cup of coffee. Do you just show up and take?  Do you just come to be given too?  How do you give back to the very people, or the church that gives and gives and gives.

Do you free up a little time to serve those who so generously give of their time, their resources, their financial blessings?  I said in the beginning of this note that I have been stewing for years.  Watching people, Christ followers, claim to be in need on one hand, and on the next hand spending money frivolously on what they have to have now, and not able to take care of what needs to be taken care of later.  Then going and asking for help and painting a false picture of what the needs are.  Yes, if you spent your money last weekend fine dining, and road tripping, then sit with generous lovely old lady Sally telling her you can't afford your wedding dress.....you are deceiving both her and yourself.

Proverbs 12:14,15
"A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, and the deeds of a man's hands will return to him. vs.15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,but a wise man is he who will listen to council."

The world give the "fools" view which at the time and moment seems right. It is never right to lie or steal no matter how we package it. Even if it's packaged as a genuine need, when it's not.  God does not call us into irresponsibility. No matter how you want to phrase or package it.

Seek council if you have problems managing your resources. Be upfront and honest and then truly God will bless you from one day to the next.  I know one thing for sure, as again those who have been given to under false pretenses often know it was false already, as once they are given to, you never see them again, and they go from one giving heart to the next lying, stealing, taking and this becomes the habit of their lives. It is time to break that habit?

Recently one women shared with me the generosity of her church.  The money was given to turn electric back on, fill the cupboards with food, and put gas in the car.  That was was never used for those things.  Instead a family trip commenced and glory be, "God just blessed our family." Not so "glory be" they were back at the church the next week asking for more, and never disclosing that trip.

If you continue to read in Proverbs 12 you will read this:
vs.17 "He who speaks truth tells what is right, but a false witness speaks of deceit."
vs.20 "Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil."
vs.21 "No harm befalls the righteous, but the wicked are filled with trouble."

Where are you in this line up of scripture?  Is your life a constant trouble? Do you falsely represent your situation? Do you think it is deceitful when you falsely express the needs, when you know in fact you have just mismanaged, overly indulged, and now you are forced, by the world's views to continue to take?

The Word of God is the resource for us to grow more in the knowledge of our walk with God. I want my walk to be honest, I want to walk in truth and be able to give back to those who come alongside to give.  I pray that we see the heart of Jesus, and in knowing Him intimately we surrender the falsehoods of our lives.

I pray that as we are given to, we give back.  I pray that if you are taking under false pretenses God convicts your heart to be honest with yourself, more importantly with Him, and you allow Him to expose this in your life.

Blessings & Love, Elizabeth Traub

How To Spot A Fraud

I have always said that "flattery" is dangerous.  When someone comes into your world quickly with lots of flattery, it's easy to get caught up in the compliments and words chosen to elevate who you are.  However, years of  being in business I have learned to take caution to such words and flattery. You see these words often come from strangers who do not know you well, and who seek to gain something from you.  Am I right?  Have you experienced this?
  
Romans 16:18 "For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people."

Psalm 12:2 "Everyone lies to their neighbor;  they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts,"

Proverbs 26:28 "A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin."

About 10 years ago I had a company come alongside me with lots of kind words and flattery.  I listened and loved the high regard they had for me. I did not evaluate how they came about my company or me, but that they thought I was pretty awesome. The Flattery Distracted Me. I did not check on their references, nor did I check the words they spoke in "truth".  My learning curve was very slow. Almost a year of slow.  It took me months to realize that this company was using me, my experience, and my resources for their personal gain, and I admit I was a little sloppy with billing.  When it came time to pay up, they were never to be heard from or seen again.  No returned phone calls, emails, or certified letters. All "promises made" never to be delivered on.  That lesson cost me time and money.  All because there was a lot of talk, a lot of flattery and a lot promises, none which were ever intended to be delivered on.   Sometimes those lessons, the time and the money are what preserves us from the same kinds of mistakes. 

I am happy to say that my learning curve is now very short.  I have recently had a similar experience, which has me writing today. In hopes that you, the reader can be guarded against such individuals. Now that Social Media and the internet is hopping and busy, it can be hard to discern truth or false flattery.  A call from a stranger. I get those once in a while.  Asking about my business, and sharing the value they have in the business platform they work in. Wanting me to come alongside and help move their company forward.  The call started with how wonderful and amazing I am.  I listened and took notes. Lots of notes.  

How To Spot A Fraud In Business

1.  Have a Basic Set of Questions You Ask A Potential New Client.
     -Write down notes/answers on each question asked.
     -Ask some of the same questions differently.
     -Evaluate the answers and you being to see contradictions in a fraud.

2.  Ask for specific references  to the character of this person.
     -Take notes on who they are choosing for references.
     -Follow the trails, they typically lead to absolutely nothing with a fraud.
     -There is such a thing as false references and it's easy to spot.

3.   What is the person promising you?
     -Frauds will typically have many promising statements for your future.
     -Write down those promising statements.  When called on later, they 
      are often denied as ever being spoken.

4.  Frauds speak very highly of themselves and those whom they have worked with. Often delivering such a high level of value of themselves that YOU should be honored to have received a place in their day or life.

      -This is the most important to discern, as flattery, especially as it will intoxicate and distract you. A business adrenal rush that someone is not only interested in you, but is saying such nice things about you and want YOU apart of their amazing.  Wow. Really?

     -Look to the name dropping, the places they have been and seen.

     -Ask questions, to see if those places and people are still around.

     -Ask the person the why's of a trail of failed relationships.

     -Take notes and you begin to see the writing on the walls of a true fraud.

     -Most business will have supporting statements from other business'. Not a fraud.  They know this, so you actually find very little information on them that even substantiates their name, brand or business.

Nothing makes sense and nothing adds up. Confusion begins to set in.  Plans, change, goals are rearranged, and as your references and research set in, there is no real business.  Asking questions, and doing your research will save much wasted time, energy and resources.  Most important during this short process is to NOT OFFER your experience or expertise without a written contract noting your time, your value, and your fee.  A fraud will want to distract away from a payment, contract or fee and throw fun words to the wind of flattery to distract. Promising so much through the gift of using words. 

      
This information is very basic, but very important to a small business. It's important even in friendships. When I owned a fabulous kids furniture store here in town, I had "friends" all over the place.  Those friendships came with lots of flattery, lots of how amazing Elizabeth is, and then the request for discounts and free services. When I said, "no" those friendships went away mad and angry with me.

This past month was yet another reminder of why it's important to guard your heart, your mind and your business from these kinds of people.  When truth is spoken directly to a fraud, something interesting happens.  They go away very quickly.  Never to be heard of or seen again.  In the manner in which they spoke ill-will of others, you can bet the same will be spoken of you. However when a fraud speaks ill-will it's often to those who already know their character.  Rest assured your good standing in business will surely stand firm against a fraud. Even the most brilliant fraud has no platform for good will, integrity and honor.

May you have the confidence and boldness to step into your business with honor and integrity in all  you say and do. Blessings, Elizabeth

p.s. If you are a small business just starting out. I would be happy to provide a basic questionnaire I use on all new prospects at no cost or fee.

Tell It Like It Is

Is it ever okay to just tell it like it is? I have come across many people in my life who do just that. Take it or leave it, offended or not I will speak my mind and tell it like it is cause gosh darnit that is how I am. Speak truth and call it a day. I know for me that I have hurt others with my factual truth of the matter. My son said to me once that it's hard to argue with me because the truth is what it is when spoken, but my delivery could use a little work.

Can we deliver truth gently? Do we have to earn the right to speak the truth? I struggle in this area. I must be honest. And in struggling in this area I may come across as judgemental, but truthfully that is not my intentions. A couple of months ago our pastor spoke on this matter and I love love loved it. Taken from my notes:

He spoke from James 4:11 & 12

vs. 11 Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it.

vs. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?

The pastor threw out this question..."are we blasting or blessing?"

When James speaks of the brethren he is writing to believers and calling us to a standard of living amoungst ourselves. Verse 11 is basically saying that we are not to slander, speak evil, speak carelessly or critically of another.

And verse 12 is basically saying it's God's job to judge and our job to love.

However this is what these two verses do not mean. And this is where clarity has come in this judging and truth speaking stuff we Christians seem to twist up so delicately.

1. These verses do not mean we arent' to examine the fruit. (speaking to Christians)
We are to keep His commandments. Take a moment to read Phil 1:9, 1Tim.3

2. It does not mean we are not to reproove your brother in private (convince or correct) Proverbs 9....reproove a wise man

3. It does not mean we are not to rebuke-->there is a time-->warnings of the heart
Proverbs 27:5-6, 2Tim 4:2

4. Doesn't mean we are not to exhort and encourage


This all is taken from my notes from a very Godly man, who speaks truth and accountability is his teaching.

What does James mean:

1. Believe the best about people. Matt 7:1 Take a look at your own life first

2. Be quick to forgive others. Ephesians 4:32, 1Peter 5:8->above all keep fervent in your love for one another.

3. Be one who gently restores people. Galations 6:1->you who are spiritual restore with a gentle spirit.

I do not believe we are to tell it like it is. I am always so shocked, speechless, uncomfortable when someone who has not earned the right in my space or life to tell me like it is. It immediately points them away from the Cross and more like a better than most attitude. I know I have walked this line and am working deeply on this.

It's harder for those of us with stronger personalities to say "well this is how God made me" and then to bolt right through. I did not see any disclaimers of personality types in any of the passages I have read. Thus that attitude is one to push through what God is trying to pull back in our lives. Gently, whoa there big kid, STOP!!!!!

I have been praying over a friend for weeks now. One who I believe we both value the depth of our friendship. Today I prayed hard for her. Wow, did God just swoop down and take care of me in this process. Out of the blue she called me and God just gave me wisdom beyond my own doing. I was able to gently speak truth of a matter that was very hard. And guess what this dear friend could hear it, accept it, understand it and blessed me by saying that she values that I would speak that. I would be lying if I said this was just all my own brilliance as a friend. But it is not. It's the WORD of God that has to intervene into my heart and soul. Asking myself and praying that the timing be right.

I can be very frank and say the human part of me wanted to just tell it like it is a few months back, but like my previous post says the words never came out. A small victory for me through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Today was the day for me to talk with this dear friend of mine. Did I tell it like it is today. Yes, but with firmness in my voice and gentleness in my soul. She most likely will be reading this and I want you to know once again as I have shared face to face countless times how very much I love you. I may not be so eloquent, nor use big words, but they are words of love, truth, hope, and a directing to the God who cares deeply for each one of us.

I pray that as you pause in our own life to reflect you ask yourself if you are blasting or blessing. I think those are good words. Thanks to a pastor who bring clarity to the Word of God