Journals From My Past June 22, 1991

 Journals From My Past June 22, 1991

From my 26 year old self:

*Our TV broke-Amen and we haven't the $ to repair it or purchase a new one. Big Fat Smile. 

Romans 2: 5, 13

5. "But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath. When his righteous judgement will be revealed."

13. "For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous."

Dear Father,

I needed a small miracle tonight. A word from you concerning a conversation I had with myself and you earlier this evening. I have been confused with our relationship. I was not sure what to think. You see I'm a pretty nice person, I talk about you within a safe Christian zone and I really have allowed myself to believe that I am a good Christian with justifiable thoughts and actions. Romans 2 really unleashed on me. The words, "stubbornness" and "unrepentant" are where I stand solid. God I don't think I have anything to repent and if I did I'm to stubborn to admit it to you or anyone else.  And then verse 13, "hearing the law" yes, I've heard you laws-I think as "oppose to obeying the law" it seems in the past few years I've really slipped away from you because of my stubbornness and unrepentant heart and and practiced hearing your laws...and that is all. 

Now the difficult part. I pray dear Father that you would tear down my spiritual walls. Help me to look inside and allow your precious work to encompass me....please watch over Elliot & Emily. 

Love, Elizabeth

 As I read this I look at my spiritual struggle and how God's word is challenging me. My thoughts of being a nice person, did not cancel out what God could work in my life. Never did I think 25 years later I could read the words of my young heart yearning to know God. May we all find peace in our process.