Dear "You", My journals are kind of boring, but I know you said they would help "you" so here is yet another entry. Delivery the process of my transition out of Food Sin and into more healthful living. Enjoy!
January 7, 2012-Day Three
I think today marks a couple of things. First my biggest challenge. Why? Home all weekend with family. Family of boys and a man who are all very hardy eaters. Needing to be fed constantly and thus my exposure to foods that I will want, but am choosing to not eat. It's the choice I have to learn control and power over. It's the choice, of good and bad. For me, it's a mental issue. A battle inside my head and yet not one person knows it is there. The "no" that does not come easy.
It is actually Sunday morning when I am writing this. And I have overcome the first weekend day, which tends to be the hardest. Last night David and I watched a movie together. Half way through he made popcorn. The SMELLS were killing me. I was not hungry. I did not need this. I am not kidding when I say that I had to fight the demons in my head, to just walk from some good smelling popcorn. It's not the popcorn that leads me into Food Sin. It's my lack of self-control when control is needed. Then I remembered that one statement that still has me laughing….”unless you trip and fall face first into a box of donuts, you have choices.” I was secretly hoping that David might trip into me with my mouth wide open. He was respectful when I said, “can you keep that in the kitchen”. And he did.
It was a fabulous eating day. It was a depressing shopping day. I will separate out the shopping part on a different page. No I did not load my cart up with junk foods, but a different kind of bad shopping day.
I am still fighting the lingering migraine. I am sure it’s related to the transitions my body is making away from sugar intensive to none at all. I have read that these can last for up to a week or even more. So now that I am three days invested into this, I am not giving up over a headache.
Here is what I ate today:
Banana with almond butter
Coffee with Sugar Free Coconut Milk (divine)
Tuna Fish mixed with fresh dill, almond oil, and a little mustard
Roasted Asparagus (thanks Emily, it was also divine)
Romaine lettuce, green olives, cashews, salsa
Wow, this was on the fly, and I LOVED it.
Handful of “mama mix”
(almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, cashews)
When I look over this day of eating I am completely surprised at how sustained I feel. I am not so concerned with portions, or amounts. Just knowing what I can and can not eat for now is the bigger challenge. Trying to be mindful of what is going into my body and asking God to go before me in each choice I am making. Either I am going to allow God to intervene and help me, or I am going to do this alone and fail miserably. Three days of a constant begging at God's feet. Sin is like that. It wants to suck us in, and so I must grab hold of God's feet and not let go. Thanks God!