One last time to blog before the new year. I have the time as I am laid up in bed with a back injury. It's funny (not funny haha but funny peculiar) that I injured my back doing something that was to promote better health in 2011 and instead it set me back a few weeks.
I have a lung condition that does not allow me to exercise outside when the temps drop below 45. With a treadmill out in the garage that pretty much means forget exercising at all during the winter months. So dear husband and I decided we would relocate the treadmill to the bonus room on the second floor. It was heavy. To heavy but I was determined to jump on this thing before the holidays. I wanted to jump start my new exercise routines and be able to watch a good movie at the same time. We both knew it was to heavy, but we went for it. In going for it, it did something to my back. Something I had never experienced. EVER.
The days that followed the determined hike up the stairs with the treadmill had me in pain. Pain to walk, to roll over, to stand, to do anything. I crawled to the bathroom, yet could not get myself up on the potty. The pain was like nothing I had ever experiences. I was able to get through the holidays, but by Christmas day, there was little activity coming my way.
My sister drove down from Seattle to help me. Gave up her post Christmas skiing week to come to my rescue. David had to go into work, so she came and helped me, took care of the boys, and kept up on the house work. She made sure I had my water, cell phone to text her when I needed help, even sweets beside my bed to snack on. It is still the holidays and there were still many holiday treats. She would tuck in bed with me at night (sleeping on the bonus room hide-a-bed) and watch late night movies until 3am because I could not sleep, due to the pain.
Finally a trip to the Dr. and a confirmed back injury with muscles spasms that had me bawling my eyes out, just to stand in the Dr.'s office. I could not lay or sit on the bed. David helped me out to our van, with no seats, thus I could lay in the van while being transported. What a lug I am.
Dr. wants at least five days of complete bed-rest to heal the injury. What and how does a mother of little boys do this. Asking for help. It's humbling, it's hard, but I have had to ask for help. I love helping others and coming alongside to assist where the needs are,but when the tables are turned why is it so hard to ask for help? Is it my strong-willed nature of "I can do it myself" (which got me this trouble to begin with ) Why is it hard to simply say "I need help". Is weakness a fault, or a shortcoming? Who knows, but I have asked for help as hard as it is.
I have had to let go of the fun that was to be. New Years Eve concert, New Years Day party and even a trip out to a friends farm for a party on Sunday. All go by thew wayside. This morning I got up, hobbled downstairs to prove that I am doing better. Within five minutes the pain was unbearable and I found myself taking the pain meds which I am trying to resist.
In my bed-rest I am finding some peace. Trying to embrace being still by reading. I am reading "Friendship with God" by Neale Donald Walsh. I have watched a lot of the Food Network and have some new ideas for 2011. I can't get in the right position to journal, but am reading the Psalms as well.
I said to one friend that you know it is serious when you have a wedgie and can't fix it yourself. I know to much information, but listen I have not even been able to wipe myself. I can laugh. My sister and I were busting up laughing, she with her rubber gloves, and me laughing so hard that I was in a position of such humility. Yes she had to wipe me. What else does one do?
I am thankful for many things during this down time. Thankful that the week before all of this I was determined to have my house spit-spot so I would not spend the holiday vacation doing any cleaning. I am affected by my surroundings and it would be a bummer to be down knowing the house was a mess, which it has been in order, and my sister continued to keep it up. I am thankful for David, who most likely tires of me calling him and whining over the pain. He has caller I.D. and could have well chosen not to answer knowing his wife would be calling yet again to whine about the pain. I am thankful for friends who have called to ask how they can help. I am thankful for a pastor who shows up with Chinese food to feed an army, and then comes the next morning to bring gallons of O.J. for breakfast. I am thankful for a church who has signed up to bring meals to our home. I am thankful that as I type this, David had taken the boys away from home for the day so I can rest, heal, and not have to worry about anything.
So, here it is New Years Eve. My one resolution was to make the treadmill a regular routine in my life. I have done great in the past four years losing 42 pounds (I gained 75 pounds with Eric, my 4th child and this is the weight in which I am trying to lose.) I was told that with the extra weight it would be very stressful on my body to run and pound my joints at my age, so I must lose a certain amount of weight, which I have so the next step is running or walking on the treadmill. Funny how I wanted to jump-start before the new year and here I lay looking at the treadmill and grumbling over the injury brought on by moving this machine.
I am choosing to be joyful in this bedridden situation. Taking the time to really rest, read, and pray over the things needing extra prayer. I pray that as you embark on this new year you would slow down, take the time needed to care for the needs of others, and to care for yourself. Embrace what is in front of you. Love and laugh a lot. I know I am in pain, but even then we have all laughed a lot this past week. Thanks to those who have come around to care.
Happy New Year.