Saturday, January 1, 2011
He Grew Faith in Each Boy
This past year has had some very deep hurdles to overcome. It is very easy to look back and see God's hand in every aspect of my life. Through many tears, and then many laughs all colliding at different times.
David left our home last July. We were in the process of putting divorce into motion. He made a public statement that he was not a Christ Follower, and could no longer hold me bound by the discontent in our marriage. I let him go. I shopped for his new kitchen. Elliot and I moved him into his new home and put his things away. God told me, very specifically to keep honoring and loving this man. Hurts can distract from being kind. It's easy to begin running a tally sheet of just how bad you have been hurt and then give credence to his departure. Yet, in my overly optimistic way I just continued to play nice.
Each evening before bed, all three boys prayed that Papa would want to have Jesus in his heart. A very close friend of mine said that my boys need to know that David does not know Jesus as his Lord and Savior. How could they understand or begin to pray for their Papa. So I shared with them. God is important to my heart, and my heart ached for David to share this spiritual journey our family is on. On their own, each one began to pray. Each night a prayer by three little boys were sent up to God.
On September 19th David met Christ in a spectacular way. Our boys watched. Our boys recognized that God answered the prayers of their hearts. Very cool to watch and experience from the perspective of a child. God told me to wait and to be quiet. If David wanted to come home, God would work on David's heart not me. So began a new prayer for my boys. Prayers that Papa would want to come home.
David and I have always be kind and polite to each other. Avoiding the real issues and that internal build up that eats away from the inside out. David began to open up some of those old issues and shared with me how in his own personal prayers he began to ask God to show him how to love his wife, and his boys. How to be patient and understanding with his wife and his boys.
I saw a new man. I kept quiet and just followed his lead. I told him I would do that. Long evenings of talking thrilled my heart. Talking over the heard issues. Could it be that God truly was guiding this man? He was not the same man who left this home months earlier. In early December David introduced the idea of coming home. We both acknowledged it would not be easy, but together we decided to work on our issues. To continue to honor and love each other.
There have been many very close to my heart who have prayed over this situation. God is so much bigger than I can ever imagine. David knows I share our story and smiles when he reads what I write. David is an amazing man. Before knowing Christ he had no hope for a future. God gives us that hope. I saw hope in this man's eyes. Something I had never experienced with him. Hope to see our marriage improve, hope to be that dad he never had, hope to enjoy life, hope in Christ Jesus.
David came home the week before Christmas. Again our boys saw God answering the prayers of their little boy hearts. They get God even more and understand on a much deeper level what it means to pray earnestly. They don't pray for a special toy, they get that either they get it or they don't. They wanted to pray for their papa to come and on his own Papa decided to come home.
I have seen God's faithfulness in my life as I have done my best to honor and respect David. Marriage is not easy. Kids take that time away from being able to handle the problems in the moment, but we need to revisit those moments to build and strengthen our marriage. I love how God works in ways that we never even imagined.
My hope is not in David. My hope is in a God who can take what is hard, what is confusing, what is unimaginable and work miracles. I cried after each boy would pray for David. In my heart I knew that they would only see disappointment. Who am I to judge the prayers of a child. God in His divine way not only answered prayers, but grew the faith of Him in each heart of my boys.
Thank you Lord Jesus for showing my boys your ability to show up in ways that make You more real in their hearts. Thank you Lord that my family is being restored and you are now the center of our hearts as a married couple. You plans are good always.