It’s not selfish of me at all to want to be in charge of my time. It is something we are all given in the same doses yet how we choose to use it is not completely our own. Right now I sit at a computer with the back round of boys happily playing. I think this is my time, yet the reality is I have snuck away, for the moment and all the boys are unaware of me slipping away. They have busied themselves without me which is a slow progression as they get older. I am frustrated today as I try to make the best of the moments I have to myself when in reality when the mother of five kids, all home right now, I am pulled in many directions without regard for my time. It’s the nemesis of being a mother.
Being home with young children is a balancing act of freedom to just be. I just want to be left alone without being bombarded with the questions. That does not happen as I want my children to ask questions and I have conditioned them that it’s okay, yet my thoughts are interrupted all day long without the considerations of my time. Sometimes time is just the thought being completed in my head, but those are interrupted. Just now as I type I had to stop to look at a stuffed dog with a makeshift leash. A proud seven year old is taking his puppy for a walk and he’s proud of his leash he made. Now I have bow-wow sounds and silly voices of dog and owner walking through the “park” which is the hallway several feet from me.
I sat in on a meeting last night at church. One of the ladies shared how she has taken the first chapter of Genesis to begin to understand the value of her time, ordering her time, and taking time to be creative in this next season of her life. Aside from the scripture I loved one of the things she said. Something like this…If God, the creator of Heaven and Earth could orchestrate His days then what better model to follow. I have read Genesis One several times in my life. Never looking so much as how God used His time, but more the focus of day one, day two and so on. Do you ever feel like some parts were left out? Like did any of the angels interrupt God, tap Him on the shoulder, and say “before you start that could I tell you something, ask you a question, can you take me potty?” Did God just stand there in the darkness of the world and say “Let there be light.” Did the angles know by the expressions on His face, the intensity of the moment, that He was about to create the world, therefore they took a step back and realized this would not be a good time to interrupt?
When I read about the earth’s beginnings and what God did on each day I realize that He could orchestrate everything so perfectly because He is and will always be the one true God. He knew exactly what precise moment was the best timing for there to be light and darkness, land and water, animals and humans. I can’t even get it right to know if now or later is a better time to dust. I don’t always rally the troops, put everyone in a corner and then have my perfectly orchestrated time to create, be orderly, and then stand back and say “wow, a job well done”.
What God did do was set aside days for a specific task. That is a good idea, and even more so because it comes from God. At the end of each day’s work on creation God took a step back and “God saw that it was good”. Can I do that with my time each day as I plug along in the roles and hats I wear? Looking over the day and see that it is good? One of the things that I have been doing for years is take inventory at the end of the day of what I have done. For me, it’s not so much the creating of a list and checking things off that list, but it’s more making that list at the end of the day and realizing how I have spent my time and what that looks like. It gives me pleasure in my own little way to say…good job Elizabeth your time was used well today. Then there are days when I look at the page of nothing I can write and I realize that I have allowed the standards of the world to dictate what is considered a job well done. A long day playing at the park with the kids, does that make it on the list at the end of the day? Sitting with a friend and laughing for hours over coffee that went cold, does that make it on the list? Or does the list have things like laundry-check, dusting-check, post office-check, and grocery store-check. What does your list look like? How do you orchestrate your time? What adds value to each day that is important to you, not by the world’s standards?
I can orchestrate a wonderful day, only to be interrupted by the needs of my family, a phone call, email, face book, and a book that I want to read one more chapter of, and life goes on. Life happens every day, and perhaps it’s not played out in the way we would desire, but if you are meeting the needs of others, serving others and living out a life to be like Jesus I think God will be smiling and saying it was good. An orchestra has a leader called the conductor. In the same way I conduct around my home it’s a joy to know that God is conducting my life each day. Some days saying Elizabeth you need to practice more and play that piece over and other days saying wow that was terrific. Thanks Lord Jesus for today. One day at a time, one moment, and not always my own but always YOURS!!!