Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Writing about another life I once had...

It is very hard to bring my past into this blog. It's a huge part of my life I can't be real about and yet it's that part of my life that shaped and molded me. It's that part of my life. the better part of 17 years, that God found favor and blesses me today. I can not be open with my heart and I am a very open person.

Last summer I was made aware that my ex husband's wife reads my blog. I don't fault her for that at all. It's a public blog to those who find me. She communicated with one of my kids that I would be dealt with if I did not take something down that I had written. I referred to a part of my "past", not mentioning names, not mentioning dates on the calendar. That specific "past" could have been anyone yet she chose to decide it was my ex and she was wrong it was not. I was careful not to mention names or dates, but it was the event that God had worked in my life. I did not take down the post.

Life happens to us. We all have pasts that have affected us. I write not thinking that an ex's wife will be reading. I often write as God has pressed on my heart something that could benefit another and bring that one person into a better understanding of God's grace, mercy, and amazingness.

I spoke at our ladies event last winter and spoke on a life of hurt and guess what, part of that time in my life was my first marriage. Unfortunately to many of us can write on that one topic. In that first marriage we were both not so nice people. Goodness if we were nice people we'd most likely still be married. In sharing that time of pain in my life I have been blessed to come alongside and encourage others in their walk with Jesus. I have been able to help others put the pieces of a broken marriage together with the hope of staying married. My intentions were never to be in a really hurtful marriage. Nor to bring a shadow onto the character of another. Marriage's don't break down because of one person it takes two.

I am sharing this today because my son listened to the CD of me sharing my story and truly it's a story of God's interventions into my heart. He said that people need to hear this story. And yet, do I pause because one person may not want to know the past of an ex-wife. I don't know the person I was married to almost ten years ago. Perhaps he is prince charming, walking closely with God, and loving another woman like he could never love me. All very good things, but as my heart has prayed this past week I am going to share some things that I have learned and grown from. Will it reference my first marriage? Most likely. Will it be more of my part and how God has shown me how to love and live in a healthy marriage today? I will do my best.

There are many marriages on the edge of separation and divorce. I wish I had someone to hold my hand and help me along, but I did not have that because I posed to have a perfect marriage in public. Behind closed doors that first marriage was very different and if you are hurting in a marriage I want to encourage and come alongside to offer hope that comes with Jesus taking over.

So, if you are reading this and are offended by some of my personal experiences, please know that I do my best to not use names, dates and times and not every bad thing is my past was a result of my ex. My failed marriage is not a result of what he did or did not do. It's about how I failed to know how to handle myself in situations that required me to depend on God. So as I write about another life I once had I pray that those who read will be encouraged.


  1. I could write chapter and verse on this one, friend. We cannot divorce ourselves from our pasts. They follow us. When they begin to work "for us" instead of "against us", that's full redemption. Walk in the freedom that is yours and live it all the more.

    I'm having my own "issue" this week, but one I cannot blog about...only pray about.

    Love you.


  2. Our past is the path that the Lord had us take. You are the amazing person today that we all love because of that past. I am right there with you in wanting to share the painful stuff. The Lord will bless not only you, but those around you when you decide to share. Not that you will with everyone. Our heavenly Father only puts those in our lives who need to hear from us. May your walk continue to be a blessing not only to you, but to those of us who get to be a small part of it. BTW, I missed your testimony, whenever you decide to share the CD, let me know. I would love to hear it. Much love always.

  3. An excellent way of choosing your words. I'm sure you have so much to offer to those who are struggling. I love your heart and humility.

  4. Making my way to the Oregonians who would love for Elaine to come visit us.

    I love your raw but tender honesty in your blog. I read your fasting post as well. Portland flooded with prayer....love it. What church do you go to?

  5. I just wrote a post on the fact that God uses our hard times to bring others through it.

    He comes alongside us
    when we go through hard times,
    and before you know it,
    he brings us alongside someone else
    who is going through hard times
    so that we can be there for that person
    just as God was there for us.

    2 Corinthians 1:4 The Message

    And if I can be so bold as to say to anyone who maybe reading my comment... I don't read blogs that offend me. It is best to have boundaries in certain situations... unfortunately, sometimes our curiosity gets the best of us.

    As bloggers, we must be able to be authentic without being unkind. You, my dear sister Elizabeth, have done both.


I would love to hear your thoughts on this post, so please take a moment to comment.