So...today I realized that all the young people stay in the same age, but I keep getting older. Strange isn't it? I guess there is a time when you realize that college age kids are always between the ages of 18-22. I have always had a heart and passion for this age group and have been blessed to work alongside so many young people. Funny thing is that I don't really get how I am any older, except that I have a birthday every single year, I still dress in classic 80's attire, which by the way, is coming back in style, and I have about five kids, which really means ten kids when they all have a friend along. And yet in all of this we still have 18-22 year olds pass through our lives.
Tonight at church the "kids", you know that age group mentioned above referred to me as Emily's mom Elizabeth. I get that a lot. My name prefaced with child's name" mom Elizabeth. I have yet to claim my own identity. I think I am getting closer but then it never happens. So I bask in the fact that they at least know my name even if it's tagged with the child present.
God has been so generous to bless me over and over again with the witness and testimony of young people finding hope, life, and goals centered around serving an amazing God. I think I bond more with this age group because there is this newness in depth and understanding that to be able to watch these young people grasp God is like watching my own life every single day gain new insights into His MIGHTY love and care. And here is the real deal. God NEVER changes. He is the same today, yesterday and when I am twenty years older by the calendar I think I will still fill like a twenty something year old. Well we all know that I will be surrounded with that age group as the three little boys will be hitting that age group.
So I may be the mom of so and so, and I may never grow up and mature like I should, but life is good, life is full and life is rich with God's blessings all around me. Young Peeps!!!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Smiling kind of survival....
This may all sound so silly, but remember the weekly show Fantasy Island? It use to come on every Saturday night right after Love Boat. The guy who ran the island would look to all the employees as the small plane was landing with guests and what would he say...? "Smiles everyone, smiles."
Last night I drove Emily with two other girls to a barbecue for incoming freshman for the college she will be attending. I got to be the driver, listening for an hour as the girls chit chatting about the excitements, goals, and hopes for their future. Smiles mommy, just smile. My heart swelled as if I had three daughters not one. When we got there it was very cool. I walked in and saw all the parents and kids and immediately all the kids piled around a table, and kept adding another chair as another student showed up. The parents all sat at various tables, and for the most part the table was painfully quiet.
I am not shy or quiet, but I just smiled. I knew if I were to start any dialogue I might just break down and cry. How on earth would I get through this evening without bawling like a big mommy baby. Then it dawned on me, everyone else had that quiet forced kind of smile. They were fighting back the tears just as I was. You know that stiff frozen smile. I watched as all these kids fit right in with each other and there we parents were, just smiling.
Conversation eventually did break out, with one parent saying it would be best that no one drove near or around her car once she dropped her daughter off as she would be bawling all the way home.......home lingered in my ears as I took a deep breath and remembered how lovely I wanted my make up to stay looking. So I just smiled again and could only nod. Not my typical jump right in and agree that between the two of us the roads might not be safe. The barbecue was lovely, the school had some representatives share and back home we came. All three girls chatted about the evening and I just drove and smiled.
This morning Ethan had his first grade orientation. We made a special date of just the two of us to leave early to shop for school supplies. We talked about all his old friends we would get to see, and his new backpack. I just wanted to cry. Why do I want to cry? Is it midlife approaching? No I cried when each child went off to school. Ethan proudly walked into his class and was enthusiastic about his desk, placement of his school supplies and reconnecting with his friends. It was all I could do not to cry. The smell of the building brought back so many memories. Emily and Ethan share the same first grade teacher. The teacher's sweet face ready as if this were her first class ever.
I think for me the tears represent having arrived at the next step of life in our mothering of each individual child. Reflecting on how we even got to this point with all the challenges. It's a tearful kind of reward giving, we give ourselves because we did survive and we are now here. We are handing our children into the hands of someone who is now going to pour into our children education and all that involves. It's trusting the decisions made up to this point in mothering and now saying I trust you, the school and the teacher to continue what we as parents have worked so hard at.
So I survived with a bold and strong smile the emotions of orientations for a college bound young lady and a first grade boy. Life is good....smiling!!!
Last night I drove Emily with two other girls to a barbecue for incoming freshman for the college she will be attending. I got to be the driver, listening for an hour as the girls chit chatting about the excitements, goals, and hopes for their future. Smiles mommy, just smile. My heart swelled as if I had three daughters not one. When we got there it was very cool. I walked in and saw all the parents and kids and immediately all the kids piled around a table, and kept adding another chair as another student showed up. The parents all sat at various tables, and for the most part the table was painfully quiet.
I am not shy or quiet, but I just smiled. I knew if I were to start any dialogue I might just break down and cry. How on earth would I get through this evening without bawling like a big mommy baby. Then it dawned on me, everyone else had that quiet forced kind of smile. They were fighting back the tears just as I was. You know that stiff frozen smile. I watched as all these kids fit right in with each other and there we parents were, just smiling.
Conversation eventually did break out, with one parent saying it would be best that no one drove near or around her car once she dropped her daughter off as she would be bawling all the way home.......home lingered in my ears as I took a deep breath and remembered how lovely I wanted my make up to stay looking. So I just smiled again and could only nod. Not my typical jump right in and agree that between the two of us the roads might not be safe. The barbecue was lovely, the school had some representatives share and back home we came. All three girls chatted about the evening and I just drove and smiled.
This morning Ethan had his first grade orientation. We made a special date of just the two of us to leave early to shop for school supplies. We talked about all his old friends we would get to see, and his new backpack. I just wanted to cry. Why do I want to cry? Is it midlife approaching? No I cried when each child went off to school. Ethan proudly walked into his class and was enthusiastic about his desk, placement of his school supplies and reconnecting with his friends. It was all I could do not to cry. The smell of the building brought back so many memories. Emily and Ethan share the same first grade teacher. The teacher's sweet face ready as if this were her first class ever.
I think for me the tears represent having arrived at the next step of life in our mothering of each individual child. Reflecting on how we even got to this point with all the challenges. It's a tearful kind of reward giving, we give ourselves because we did survive and we are now here. We are handing our children into the hands of someone who is now going to pour into our children education and all that involves. It's trusting the decisions made up to this point in mothering and now saying I trust you, the school and the teacher to continue what we as parents have worked so hard at.
So I survived with a bold and strong smile the emotions of orientations for a college bound young lady and a first grade boy. Life is good....smiling!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The blessing of God's word
I have two verses today that I want to thank God for. The first one:
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I have towards you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace not evil. To give you a future and hope.
The world can have a view of us that can perplex the core of who we are. We ask ourselves how this view can be when the person rarely spends time with us, and then views our world through past experiences when perhaps bad choices were made. And believe me I have made some humdingers. The world would like to hang onto anything that suggests we are less than who we are today. But take joy today in knowing that God knows our thoughts, our hearts, our agenda's, our pursuit of being closer to Him. He is about peace not evil. He is about a future filled with hope as we grow closer to him. His amazing grace gives us that hope and confidence that the old is old and the new is new. Let no one stand in the way of all that God is doing and wants to do in your life.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
It is so easy to become dismayed over the world's views. It is so easy to become weak in our spirit, a beaten down so to speak. But God doesn't just make a polite suggestion to us. He states that He clearly commands us to be strong and of good courage. I love how that is written. "Good courage", not bad or sulking courage, but confidence in God kind of courage.
At times I look back into my past and the places I have been. I am reminded every single day of one drunken night which produced the most blessed little boy. A very hard time in my life. A time when many had great reason to whisper and talk. Boy did I give people reasons to talk, and question my entire life of being a Christian. I lacked strength and courage to get me through some very hard times. I was dismayed and all around me were no thoughts of peace, or even a future of hope. Praise God for that time in my life to bring me to my knees before Him, to rise up and take hold of His love and forgiveness in my life. My future and hope are in His Word, and not the words of others, not the views of others.
If you are reading this today and have hurt lurking in your heart, know that it is not of God. Write out these two verses on a post-it, and put your name in there. Move forward in your relationship with Christ. He wants us to look at the future he has for us. One of hope in Him. I know that God has amazing tender thoughts of me his child, learning and growing more each day. Training and teaching. I don't get an "A" on most days, but I know I am above the scale of failure in His eyes ALWAYS and so are you.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I have towards you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace not evil. To give you a future and hope.
The world can have a view of us that can perplex the core of who we are. We ask ourselves how this view can be when the person rarely spends time with us, and then views our world through past experiences when perhaps bad choices were made. And believe me I have made some humdingers. The world would like to hang onto anything that suggests we are less than who we are today. But take joy today in knowing that God knows our thoughts, our hearts, our agenda's, our pursuit of being closer to Him. He is about peace not evil. He is about a future filled with hope as we grow closer to him. His amazing grace gives us that hope and confidence that the old is old and the new is new. Let no one stand in the way of all that God is doing and wants to do in your life.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
It is so easy to become dismayed over the world's views. It is so easy to become weak in our spirit, a beaten down so to speak. But God doesn't just make a polite suggestion to us. He states that He clearly commands us to be strong and of good courage. I love how that is written. "Good courage", not bad or sulking courage, but confidence in God kind of courage.
At times I look back into my past and the places I have been. I am reminded every single day of one drunken night which produced the most blessed little boy. A very hard time in my life. A time when many had great reason to whisper and talk. Boy did I give people reasons to talk, and question my entire life of being a Christian. I lacked strength and courage to get me through some very hard times. I was dismayed and all around me were no thoughts of peace, or even a future of hope. Praise God for that time in my life to bring me to my knees before Him, to rise up and take hold of His love and forgiveness in my life. My future and hope are in His Word, and not the words of others, not the views of others.
If you are reading this today and have hurt lurking in your heart, know that it is not of God. Write out these two verses on a post-it, and put your name in there. Move forward in your relationship with Christ. He wants us to look at the future he has for us. One of hope in Him. I know that God has amazing tender thoughts of me his child, learning and growing more each day. Training and teaching. I don't get an "A" on most days, but I know I am above the scale of failure in His eyes ALWAYS and so are you.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Where did the whale spout go?
This is my PieSweety. The light of my life. She is going away to school. A little girl that has stood within a few feet of my space for over 18 years. We are going to be learning about what our new normal will be. Everyone's normal is different. We learn to function in the normal we creat. Now this little girl is going off to college and creating what will be her normal. Does that even sound normal?
Her bedroom is so warm and cozy. Her art hanging from the walls, her collections and treasures neatly designed, because she has always let me decorate her room for her. She begs me to do it and then turns around and always says I love it!!! I told her that I am going to use her room as my private get-a-way because it's just the kind of room you want to lose yourself in.
I have prepared my heart, emotions, and head for this for a long time. And then I look at this sweet face and think wahhhhhh! Okay getting msyelf together one more time. I pray that God will continue to use her for His glory in all she says and does. I pray for any boy that might think she is the one, that he realizes that he is not. LOL
I know many of you have grown children who have moved away. I read your blogs all the time gleaming little bits of wisdom, pleasure, and warmth to see how your relationships are changing, some of the challenges and so much fun. Thanks to all you moms who have become my mentors through your heartful sharing.
elizabeth embracing her four year old....
Nieghbor boy: Says to Ethan..."that thing on your head is funnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeee looking"
Ethan: Looks up at the boy.
Eric: My four year old steps into the situation and says...."in our family, we think funny is cool"
Ethan wears these hearing devices on the outside of his head. Held in place by magnets under the skin. Yep, they look funny. Especially if you don't know what they are. The neighbor kid was saying it in a very teasing and hurtful way. Which Ethan did not even get, but Eric caught on. I am so proud of Eric.
Ethan: Looks up at the boy.
Eric: My four year old steps into the situation and says...."in our family, we think funny is cool"
Ethan wears these hearing devices on the outside of his head. Held in place by magnets under the skin. Yep, they look funny. Especially if you don't know what they are. The neighbor kid was saying it in a very teasing and hurtful way. Which Ethan did not even get, but Eric caught on. I am so proud of Eric.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Just some thoughts...
These past weeks I have been learning about the next step in understanding my relationship and faith in Christ. I have been very reflective in my journey as a Christian. Learning about who Jesus wants to be in my everyday life has brought me so much inner peace. I became a Christian at the age of 6 or 7. I always felt like I was on the inside of understanding who God is and wants to be in my life. Seeing adults struggle often had my young heart wondering why they did not get it. I surely got it, and got Him.
But something has changed me these past few months. Changed me in ways of realizing that I get to get Him even more through the teaching and passion of others as they live out their lives in ministry. For the past several months I have been struggling to decide which church to call home. My husband and I agreed on one church, but still felt unsettled. The last church we attended produced some very huge eye opening issues. We agreed that being unsettled was not God giving us direction; it was more God saying nope not here, not yet. So we have hung back praying and continuing to find what would take us deeper into our journey of knowing Christ.
I have realized that true passion for Christ is not excusing our human behaviors. Accepting this is the way things are because, you know, we are human. For the past several years I have been surrounded with that kind of mentality among Christians. It does not challenge, it lacks true accountability and it certainly does not bring me into a greater understanding of knowing Christ. It clouded what and where God has wanted me to go. And worse it clouded what the scripture teaches.
For several weeks now I have had this passion that has been deeper than I have ever known to live Christ, breath Christ, sing Christ and just take that human part of me and no longer excuse it, but to challenge me into obedience to Christ’s calling as the Bible unfolds. I have been around the most uplifting and real people in the past few months than what I have experienced in these past years. My husband and I are older, more mature, and more aware of people, patterns, and pretenses. We have experienced so much oppression from Christians that we find we do better in non Christian circles because on so many levels they are so real. I can express my faith in Christ and there is this acceptance, because there are no judgements for my choice in how I choose to believe and live my life. How sad to have to look high and low to find the same among Christian circles.
We have been attending this church that is growing in leaps and bounds. I have sat back and watched, not getting involved, but just observing. I have asked myself why this church is so solid. There are pastors who have been there from the beginning. No coming and goings, no in and out of pastoral staff, but the growing of this staff, the elders listed each week in the bulletin and the worship team using the gifts of many. It has been the openness of the staff. When I ask questions I get answers. I don’t have a person waffling in their own skin to figure out how to answer, but a real ness to what God is doing. I see teenagers, college students, and young adults gripping to the solid Biblical words being taught and coming back for more and bringing their friends along. The senior pastor is not afraid to be direct and speak the Bible firmly. I come away each week wanting to be in the word every single day, read the teaching of others and bask in the delight of getting to come further in my walk. The maturity in Christ, in people, those that are younger than I am is truly amazing.
When we sit around at the meals this church hosts, it’s an open forum. Each week we meet many different people of various ages. I had a group of young woman sit by me. There was no division because of age. They openly shared where their hearts are as young Christian women. A couple that has been married for 68 years blessed me so much as they share the joys of being who they are in Christ.
What has me blogging this evening?
Emily came and sat on my bed and shared that she would be singing for all three services during the worship time. She has been slowly becoming a part of different ministries. We work together in a ministry, and each week come home and say we love it so much. In addition she is using her gift of music. She shared how she is finding that she yearns to be more like Christ, in his word, and the building up of one another in this church in unlike she has ever experienced. I got tears in my eyes, because she voiced what has been singing in my heart all week. She’s 18 and I am 42 and the strength of the ministry in this church is reaching all walks of life. It’s no wonder it is growing, continues to grow and is ministering at so many levels.
I realize that there are many great churches out there, and we each must find what suits us the best, what is going to bring us along in our walk with Christ. I have met more people in the past six months that “get” God in their life. I am even more blessed to realize that my daughter who is venturing out on her own to find a church culture has been deeply moved by the power of the Holy Spirit in this church. It’s just cool!!
But something has changed me these past few months. Changed me in ways of realizing that I get to get Him even more through the teaching and passion of others as they live out their lives in ministry. For the past several months I have been struggling to decide which church to call home. My husband and I agreed on one church, but still felt unsettled. The last church we attended produced some very huge eye opening issues. We agreed that being unsettled was not God giving us direction; it was more God saying nope not here, not yet. So we have hung back praying and continuing to find what would take us deeper into our journey of knowing Christ.
I have realized that true passion for Christ is not excusing our human behaviors. Accepting this is the way things are because, you know, we are human. For the past several years I have been surrounded with that kind of mentality among Christians. It does not challenge, it lacks true accountability and it certainly does not bring me into a greater understanding of knowing Christ. It clouded what and where God has wanted me to go. And worse it clouded what the scripture teaches.
For several weeks now I have had this passion that has been deeper than I have ever known to live Christ, breath Christ, sing Christ and just take that human part of me and no longer excuse it, but to challenge me into obedience to Christ’s calling as the Bible unfolds. I have been around the most uplifting and real people in the past few months than what I have experienced in these past years. My husband and I are older, more mature, and more aware of people, patterns, and pretenses. We have experienced so much oppression from Christians that we find we do better in non Christian circles because on so many levels they are so real. I can express my faith in Christ and there is this acceptance, because there are no judgements for my choice in how I choose to believe and live my life. How sad to have to look high and low to find the same among Christian circles.
We have been attending this church that is growing in leaps and bounds. I have sat back and watched, not getting involved, but just observing. I have asked myself why this church is so solid. There are pastors who have been there from the beginning. No coming and goings, no in and out of pastoral staff, but the growing of this staff, the elders listed each week in the bulletin and the worship team using the gifts of many. It has been the openness of the staff. When I ask questions I get answers. I don’t have a person waffling in their own skin to figure out how to answer, but a real ness to what God is doing. I see teenagers, college students, and young adults gripping to the solid Biblical words being taught and coming back for more and bringing their friends along. The senior pastor is not afraid to be direct and speak the Bible firmly. I come away each week wanting to be in the word every single day, read the teaching of others and bask in the delight of getting to come further in my walk. The maturity in Christ, in people, those that are younger than I am is truly amazing.
When we sit around at the meals this church hosts, it’s an open forum. Each week we meet many different people of various ages. I had a group of young woman sit by me. There was no division because of age. They openly shared where their hearts are as young Christian women. A couple that has been married for 68 years blessed me so much as they share the joys of being who they are in Christ.
What has me blogging this evening?
Emily came and sat on my bed and shared that she would be singing for all three services during the worship time. She has been slowly becoming a part of different ministries. We work together in a ministry, and each week come home and say we love it so much. In addition she is using her gift of music. She shared how she is finding that she yearns to be more like Christ, in his word, and the building up of one another in this church in unlike she has ever experienced. I got tears in my eyes, because she voiced what has been singing in my heart all week. She’s 18 and I am 42 and the strength of the ministry in this church is reaching all walks of life. It’s no wonder it is growing, continues to grow and is ministering at so many levels.
I realize that there are many great churches out there, and we each must find what suits us the best, what is going to bring us along in our walk with Christ. I have met more people in the past six months that “get” God in their life. I am even more blessed to realize that my daughter who is venturing out on her own to find a church culture has been deeply moved by the power of the Holy Spirit in this church. It’s just cool!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
On the positive side....
I am still struggling with my neighbors. I find I have gained some ground only to have a few more steps backwards. Today I felt most depressed over the situation. Yesterday was not a good day.
I woke up this morning praying that I could just smile through the day. Get through the stress and enjoy my Friday with my boys. We baked muffins, and chocolate treats, did a coffee drive through, and prayed the muffins I left in the oven did not burn. Sometimes, as down as I am I still have to go through the motions of what I would do if my spirits were higher. So as not to suck everyone around me into my own personal trials.
The boys wanted to walk some treats down to a couple ( neighbors) that leave for vacation. They were very excited about choosing what treats to bring them. It was fun to watch the three of them go through the process of how many of what. We walked them down and Mr. E was home. They were thrilled to visit him. He walked the boys out into his garden to show them around. His garden reminds me of a fancy living room that someone takes great pride in. It was fun to watch as the boys asked, often at the same time, all these questions. He allowed them to not only look, but to pick off vegetables that were ripe. As I watched I realized that I am really blessed. I do have nice neighbors down the street, ones that live behind us, and all around us. It's just the ones that cause me grief are right next door. I enjoyed watching Mr. E explain in detail what each plant was. His raised garden, and water system are something truly to admire and the boys and I did.
We went back inside his house, only to have him step back out into the garden. The boys and I went to look for him. He informed the boys that sometimes there are candy flowers that grow. Kind of like Willy Wonka's garden. He gave them direction as to where these special flowers might be, and wouldn't you know it there they were. Lollipops!!! Lovely and colorful. What a great sense of humor. These boys have talked all afternoon about the garden.
Later we were out and about. As I drove up my drive, a different neighbor came carrying a bag and flagged me down. She had just come down from my house and wanted to leave us with lettuce from her garden. I was just tickled. It was like God reminding me that all is not so bad dear Elizabeth. You have been blessed with much more.
So, with that being said, I truly am blessed by the people who live around me. Friendly, kind, thoughtful, funny, interesting, and truly made my day today. I tried loading pictures of the lovely veggies, but kept getting an error, so I will try again soon. I am glad I got the pictures before the first one went into my mouth because life is good when you are eating food right out of the garden, hand picked that day.
Seriously I suck at the picture thing. My computer is hit and miss for speed and I never have patience to figure things out. I think the pictures have come through. I hope they have.
I woke up this morning praying that I could just smile through the day. Get through the stress and enjoy my Friday with my boys. We baked muffins, and chocolate treats, did a coffee drive through, and prayed the muffins I left in the oven did not burn. Sometimes, as down as I am I still have to go through the motions of what I would do if my spirits were higher. So as not to suck everyone around me into my own personal trials.
The boys wanted to walk some treats down to a couple ( neighbors) that leave for vacation. They were very excited about choosing what treats to bring them. It was fun to watch the three of them go through the process of how many of what. We walked them down and Mr. E was home. They were thrilled to visit him. He walked the boys out into his garden to show them around. His garden reminds me of a fancy living room that someone takes great pride in. It was fun to watch as the boys asked, often at the same time, all these questions. He allowed them to not only look, but to pick off vegetables that were ripe. As I watched I realized that I am really blessed. I do have nice neighbors down the street, ones that live behind us, and all around us. It's just the ones that cause me grief are right next door. I enjoyed watching Mr. E explain in detail what each plant was. His raised garden, and water system are something truly to admire and the boys and I did.
We went back inside his house, only to have him step back out into the garden. The boys and I went to look for him. He informed the boys that sometimes there are candy flowers that grow. Kind of like Willy Wonka's garden. He gave them direction as to where these special flowers might be, and wouldn't you know it there they were. Lollipops!!! Lovely and colorful. What a great sense of humor. These boys have talked all afternoon about the garden.
Later we were out and about. As I drove up my drive, a different neighbor came carrying a bag and flagged me down. She had just come down from my house and wanted to leave us with lettuce from her garden. I was just tickled. It was like God reminding me that all is not so bad dear Elizabeth. You have been blessed with much more.
So, with that being said, I truly am blessed by the people who live around me. Friendly, kind, thoughtful, funny, interesting, and truly made my day today. I tried loading pictures of the lovely veggies, but kept getting an error, so I will try again soon. I am glad I got the pictures before the first one went into my mouth because life is good when you are eating food right out of the garden, hand picked that day.
Seriously I suck at the picture thing. My computer is hit and miss for speed and I never have patience to figure things out. I think the pictures have come through. I hope they have.
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