Sleep Baby Sleep

 

Last week I received a text from a new mama. She happens to be like a daughter and is one of my dauther's closest friends. She is in fact a first time new mama. Her texted asked if I could come and help her "sleep train" her new little 9 week old daughter.

For those who have grown up in my home and watched me mother, those requests are often. And even today a request came via text that I actually write a book about the "why" of teaching our infants to sleep. I have five children, all very different, but one thing they were not different on, is the times I lay them to rest their growing little bodies. Teaching each one to fall to sleep on their own.


I have been met with many negative comments over the years of my "sleep training" methodology. I was never one to let any of my babies cry it out, and I am a fan of a pacifier if any of my children wanted one, which was four of the five.  However I do believe if we learn the rhythm of our babies, and the timing of feeding and fussiness we learn to listen to what our babies really want. And in teaching a happy baby to rest, you are actually laying a happy baby down, who learns to sleep and then the end result is a happy baby waking up. And hosting play dates and mom groups on my home over the baby toddler years, moms were always amazed at how much my kids slept and how happy they were. Always, the mamas who were exhausted, not sleeping, and with sleepless infants saying that their baby was different. As I watched a fussy, crying, angry baby in their arms I would think, "oh sweet mama that little one is so exhausted and sleep deprived." One such mama allowed me to swaddle her 12 week old son. I gently rocked and sung as we all chatted away. And that infant went into sleep-land. His mama watched and started crying. She said she felt like a dumb mama who did not know her child. He had been on tummy drops the doter prescribed, as he was diagnosed with severe tummy issues. Told her son was not adapting to her milk, and she had him on formula. She had only been two weeks post nursing. I assured her she could get her mild production back. ( p.s. doctors get HUGE perks for promoting formula). I gave her about 3 days supply of my frozen breast milk and told her some of the "Mama Traub" secrets of learning her son's rhythms and guess what?  Her milk production came back. And in two weeks she had a sleeping infant who's awake time was happy.

I use to say I am, "five for five" with happy babies and babies who sleep through the night by 2 months. And if you have sleep trained your baby around a schedule you actually can plan a wonderful life with your children. I refused to succumb to the, "I have not slept in two years" because my baby does not sleep. I have come alongside those mama's, out of desperation and assisted many young mama's who are desperate for sleep. Over the years I have gone to strangers's homes to assist for a day or an afternoon evening. I am only sharing this today on my blog, because after two requests this week I am truly thinking maybe it is time to offer a different perspective of learning our baby's rhythms rather than showing up in a pediatricians office pleading for a remedy.

The other thing that has charged this blog today is sitting over a luncheon with a pediatrician a week ago. She is a very good doctor, but she does not own the clinic she works in. And here is the sad truth, as she explained it and I am paraphrasing here. ...A lot of clinics are losing a tone of money over insurance. So a high revenue source is pharmaceuticals. We are told almost every day, "prescribe, prescribe prescribe." She said the sad truth is parents are so sleep deprived from sleepless babies they are desperate for a remedy and prescribing a tummy med is a regular daily, several times a day prescription. Because parents do not want to hear or put the work into actually learning how to help their babies. She said, deep down of course parents want to help their babies, but rather than face the hard work a pharmaceutical is prescribed as I am instructed by those who work over me. She went on to say that 20-30 years ago, a pediatrician would sit down and help a new mom learn how to help their babies with excellent advice and those days are few and far.

As I listened I had to agree with her. My oldest is 31 and my youngest is 13. Not one of my children, as infants, were  prescribed a pharmaceutical as a remedy. As a matter of fact, well rested infants are healthier infants. All my kids ever had were well-baby check ups. The doctors were always asking how I keep my kids so healthy. My kids drank from hoses, never used hand santizer in public places, and even shared germs.  I had no secret remedy. I just learned by practical analysis that when I am sleep deprived my immune system does not function and I get sick. When I am sleep deprived I drag, and am not happy. When I am sleep deprived I can not think straight. When I am sleep deprived I am cranky and moody. When I am sleep deprived I do not even eat well.

As a young mama, with my first one I considered all these things and thus developed a personal program of training my kids to sleep well. And ALL, regardless of personalities were big time sleepers. Happy babies. Learned early, excellent students in school and no learning disorders as the habits of rest continued through out their primary grades. And to this day, now with grown children and teenagers three have never had a prescription in their life. And the other two, one who is deaf with cochlear implants, during surgery was given the obvious meds for surgery. And one who drank gasoline was given a hospital stay and meds for obvious reason.

As I write this blog i am going to break it down and maybe it may help one or two new mama's go off into motherhood with happy healthy babies. And happy healthy sleeping babies produce happy healthy sleeping mamas. And happy sleeping babies and mamas produce the most delightful parenting experiences you could imagine.