Saturday, September 1, 2012


Do you choose to understand the heart of another? We have have a choice to make.  To be bitter and angry or to seek and understand.  I have been thinking about this a lot this weekend.  A few situations in my life this past week, and the discovery of fabricating of one's life and the poor treatment of a loved one.  To each situations I want to desperately strike out, and hurt back with words.  I want to compose a brilliant email and tell each person just what I think and expose who they are. Yet, as I ponder each situation something different begins to happen in my soul....understanding.  Understanding is not acceptance.

Understanding is not a free pass to the other persons to continue and repeat in my life.  Understanding brings my heart and soul to a whole new level. It covers the bitterness and the anger with tenderness.  Understanding brings me to want to come alongside love unconditionally.  Understanding turns me from feeling bitter and angry to concern and care.  Is that even possible?  YES IT IS.

Looking past the offenses and asking the questions of why one might act in this manner.  It's almost like a bipolar kind of thought.  One minute you see the deep kindness in that person, and the next moment you are shocked at what you see and hear.  I go back to that moment of kindness in that person.  That is the true them.  Something in that person's life distracts that authentic glimpse of who they are, and that part you love.  When we see the good, it refuels those feel good feelings in that relationship.  Understanding allows love to pour through the other stuff unconditionally. 

As I have looked at both situations this weekend, I love more.  I am learning more of the stories of these lives, and my hearts hurts to know the struggles in these lives have produced some hurtful ways of dealing with life.  I harbor no anger or bitterness.  Understanding allows questions to be asked, and hearts to begin to open up a little deeper.  Understanding does not judge.Understanding produces trust.   Trust comes to realize who we can become to bring the other person into a better them.  Understanding is the beautiful process of turning bitterness and anger into a deeper relationship with that person.

Do you dig a little deeper with some of those relationships that bring you negative emotions?  How are you doing with what you are feeling?  What if you looked deeper and began to understand what the other person has gone through to develop those acts that are hair pulling and frustrating.  I encourage you today to move your emotions to understanding.


  1. Or you could just smack 'em.... In all seriousness though my love. This is a great post and something I struggle with on a daily basic in many aspects of my life. Acceptance of a person as they are is spot on sistah. Thanks for the daily reminder m'love

    1. Yes, I often feel that "smack'em" reflex, but alas only in my mind. We all struggle and need to help each other along in kindness and understanding.

  2. Life is hard. And complicated. But wonderfully amazing.
    I miss you.
    8 miles next Sunday... if you are interested.


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