I really questioned if I was doing the right thing, by myself, to be putting some intimate details about my struggles with exercise. I was scared to put it out there but really felt God pressing on my heart to do so. Why? Perhaps there are others like myself who are actually pretty active, happy, and enjoying life, but then in the back of most thoughts is that drudgery of having extra weight, and no exercise regimen , motivation, no spark to get going to speak of. That WAS me. That WAS me for the past seven years. Did you notice the word "WAS"?
I decided to map out a 2.5 mile run which is grueling. It starts with a .6 mile hill, and has about three other hills filtered into the run. Death of me!!! That is what I thought the first two times I tried to run it. I failed. I failed terribly at running it. But each time I finished. I posted on our church's facebook sight that I would be doing this run every Monday evening at 7pm. I said it was a "beginner conditioning run". I expected that God would send someone like myself, and together we would face that daunting run, and maybe even detour to Baskin Robbins or something like that. Nope no such luck. He brought me a young healthy 26 year old running beast. Rachel is her name and she has shown up on that run with me for the past four weeks.
The first time I "ran it" I didn't. I actually sucked air and walked most of it. She just chatted away and said take your time no worries. Then the second time less sucking air, a few more running strides. The third time we ran it, I made it almost up that hill, but ran most of the run. This past week was week four and three things have happened to me.
1. My treadmill time is a 45 minute work out and I am doing it and NOW enjoying it and looking forward to it. I have found my groove with the kids and my husband.
2. Knowing that Rachel is showing up every Monday has me working almost daily on running the treadmill. I actually forgot this past week was Monday and ran on the treadmill and then ran with Rachel that same evening. (who is this lazy, don' t have motivation mom?)
3. Prayer over myself. In the same way I pray over my family, Daily asking God to give me the desire in my heart to take care of this part of my life.
For me this is not about a scale. I have not once in the past four weeks weighed myself. It's about my body not being my own, but God's temple. God is not concerned with numbers on a scale. He does not care about "skinny jeans" or the numbers on the tag inside those skinny jeans. God is concerned that our bodies be His temple and that we take care of that temple.
2 Corinthians 4:10
That life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.
Almost four weeks later I have done what I truly thought was the impossible. I am not pushing myself beyond my abilities. I am not looking to the next person's ability greater than mine. I am simply asking God to help me show up for Him, for me and for my body to be healthy.
I am not my own dear Lord Jesus. Thank you for showing up in so many encouraging ways. Thank you that I can look at that 2.5 mile run knowing that I am doing this for You to manifest me. Amen, elizabeth