Yesterday was kind of a hard day for me. It should have been a delightful and fun day. On many levels it was. My wonderful husband David decided that our house was to warm and booked a few nights at a nice hotel here in town. I have had friends coming and swimming all day long, and pretty much on vacation in Portland with my husband cutting his work days short to join us. It was fun to see the boys developing their confidence in the pool. I mean really 4-8 hours in the pool will do that.
However by yesterday afternoon some of my past came back to haunt me. Devouring my soul and leaving me in heap just crying over the hearts of unhealing, unforgiveness, and the affect it has on my kids. For about an hour I allowed the words of another to send Miss Lizzy into a Tizzy. Words that claim my life is false, I am not who I claim to be. Wouldn't saton like nothing more than to continue to use the sins of our past, the hurts and the unforiveness to confuse and continue to have control in our hearts, and my heart. It hurt deeply and yet having been out of that life for the better part of ten years the words still went deep.
I had my "blue" Bible with me at the hotel. It's a newer beautiful rubbed blue leather Bible. Because it is so new I am not able to turn to the worn pages of underlined scripture. You know how you can just open your Bible and find what you need in the moment. I sat on my bed and prayed, looking down at this new Bible and asked God for strength to say and do the right thing. No kidding my Bible didn't just fall open. I dropped it and caught it half way down the side of a nightstand with my thumb turned to this passage:
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
I have read this passage before and the tears ended quickly. I could grab hold of this foundation of scripture for my heart and truly find joy in where my life is today and who I am today. I felt compassion and forgiveness and prayed over the situation. I looked at my children and thanked God for the blessing of them, a husband who cares and loves so deeply who's life comes alongside me to allow me to grow more. Yet, saton would like to steal this joy, this place that God holds in our family. And victoriously God has given way to that continued peace and joy through the words of His scripture.
David, the boys and I sad over dinner in the hotel. Enjoying our vacation in Portland. With wiggly chatting boys in a fancy hotel we did our best to remind them of manners, quiet voices, but sometimes you just have to bust out a laugh, a burp, and question out loud a smell. Some friends were joining us for a swim, so after dinner David took the boys up to get their suits on. I sat and sipped on a glass of water when a quiet voice spoke to me.
This woman leaned over from her table and asked if this was my family. I said, yes and immediately apologized if we were to loud. She said that we were fine. She said it was just so precious for her to watch a family enjoying being a family. I thanked her and was about to turn around when she asked if she could give our family a gift. With a raised eyebrow I said "a gift". She said she was an executive with Disney. I chuckled, not sure what to think and said okay are we going to get a free pass? She said better. She then reached into her handbag and pulled out six pins. She said these are VIP pins to be worn all over any Disney park. She said that the staff know these pins and what they represent. I was very humbled and excited. I said I can't wait to go up and show the boys. She said "no, put them away, keep them in a safe place as they are your ticket in any Disney park around the world for up to five years". I asked if I could see her business card. She laughed and said something like I know this seems random and sure enough she pulled out a business card with her name and all the stuff that looked like a Disney executive might have.
Now I know that this seems a little unreal and even now I am just humbled. My heart was severely challenged over who and what I am. In praying and asking God to show me what my life truly is about I will stand behind this very thing. I know that woman was an angel. I know that it was God's incredible sense of humor to have an angel come along and smile on our family unit enjoying being a family because regardless of the turmoils, and struggles, and the ins and outs of daily life my husband and I enjoy being a family and no one can take that away from us. So thanks to this woman (wink-wink) angel who came along to bless our family.
Thanks dear Lord for your present power in our lives each day. May we seek You in all things.