God Sends His Promises

It was several weeks ago.It had been a few days of the sheep wandering off. On this new day I woke up early to take care of the sheep and today they were behaving. I had a chat with them before opening the barn door. Telling them that I am like they are. I understand. That straight path to the perfect pasture for grazing has so many distractions. I told them they had to trust me in leading them to that pasture. Stay on course. It's only a 3 minute walk, but then you can run free. And they did as they were told. No herding circles around the house and out to a pasture that was not planned.

Later I dropped Ethan off at school and before closing the car door he looks back, smiles and says, "Thank you mama I love you."  Sometimes that is all that this mama needs is sheep who obey and your teenager saying sweet kind words.

I went on to my Bible study. I love these ladies. I love hearing how God is growing their hearts through life experiences. Together we discussed last Sunday's teaching on "Loving your Enemy". It was a wonderful dialogue.  Then I see  a call on my phone. I take the call and return to the table shaking and crying.

It was hard news. And the tissue box was passed my direction and the mascare I put on has all been poured down my face with tears. Today was suppose to be easy.  Says who?  Who said any day would be easy?  We all go through our days with the realization that things can change or not go as planned. I wanted to curl up in the fetal position, turn off my shop lights and cry my eyes out. That is not what God had planned. No he put me smack in the middle of the hearts of praying and loving women. Stopping the direction of our meeting and covering me in prayer. And guess what these are some of God's favorites. These women slighted the fear and the fretting with their prayers. And then one very sweet sister shared and prayed through Psalm 37. And God steps in with HIS words of encouragement and HIS promises.

Oh how God shows up and sends His promises. He put me right where I needed to be when a hard phone call comes. Have you had a blow to your day? Read the following passage. I highlighted those promises that have touched my heart. My heart was lifted and once again, as the weeks and months have shown me God is still in the business of the very promises written in the Bible.

My circumstances may not have changed, but my heart left less heavy covered in prayer and scripture.  Stay the course with Jesus through the harder days. He knows these days and his promises are true. Remember all the other times he has been there for you. 

Psalm 37 (copies from Biblegateway)

Do not fret because of those who are evil
    or be envious of those who do wrong;
² for like the grass they will soon wither,
    like green plants they will soon die away.

³ Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
⁶ He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

¹¹ But the meek will inherit the land
    and enjoy peace and prosperity....

¹⁷ for the power of the wicked will be broken,
    but the Lord upholds the righteous.

¹⁸ The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
    and their inheritance will endure forever.
¹⁹ In times of disaster they will not wither;
    in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

²¹ The wicked borrow and do not repay,
    but the righteous give generously;
²² those the Lord blesses will inherit the land,
    but those he curses will be destroyed.

²³ The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
²⁴ though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

²⁶ They are always generous and lend freely;
    their children will be a blessing.^[b]

²⁷ Turn from evil and do good;
    then you will dwell in the land forever.
²⁸ For the Lord loves the just
    and will not forsake his faithful ones.

Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed^[c];
    the offspring of the wicked will perish.
²⁹ The righteous will inherit the land
    and dwell in it forever.

³⁰ The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
    and their tongues speak what is just.
³¹ The law of their God is in their hearts;
    their feet do not slip.

³³ but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked
    or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

³⁴ Hope in the Lord
    and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;    when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

Do you walk through each day with the confidence that God's Word and promises are true?  Look for His promises in your daily walk. Thank God through out the day for the ways he has covered your heart. Today I am thanking Him for Psalm 37 and these sweet gals. 

Never Apologize For Where You Were

Never, as in never ever apologize for where you were. Never apologize for how you feel.  Never apologize for what you felt in that moment, or in many moments while you were there. Never forget what you learned, laughed over, cried over and felt like you could die over. For that time it was all very good. At times a struggle and hard and you were there for that time because you were suppose to be.

Have you ever stood at the river's edge?  Looking across to the other side you see something you want to get a closer look at?  You hop in a canoe and start paddling. If you have ever tried to navigate a canoe in a river, you know it's is no easy task. I think back to my Young Life days at Malibu located in the Gervais Inlet in Canada.  Those could be some very rough canoe times. You have moments of arm muscle burning, and you work  hard. You also are smiling because really there is a bit of an adrenaline rush while working so hard to get to the other side. Then you get to a calm spot and you sit and take in all that beauty, fresh air, breathtaking, heart stopping feelings of that moment or season.

Start paddling again and you are there. Standing on the opposite side of where you once were. And now looking back to where you were. It all looks so different. Very different than what you thought. You turn your head a bit, squinting from the sun because what you thought was not really how you see it now.

Life is exactly like this. Standing on the other side of where you were. And because we do learn, and grow we do see things differently. Have you ever questioned yourself? Wondering about this decision or that one. Is this the right one? Or is that the right one?  When you get to the other side and look back, there is this deep sinking feeling of things should have been different. Maybe you feel a little embarrassed. Perhaps when the topic comes up you start apologizing.

Yes, many can say that they wished they had made a different decision or taken a different path.  But here you are. And today you are who you are for every good and bad decision you have ever made. And you are exactly who you are suppose to be.

Never, as in never ever apologize for where you were. Never apologize for how you feel.  Never apologize for what you felt in that moment, or in many moments while you were there. Never forget what you learned, laughed over, cried over and felt like you could die over. For that time it was all very good. At times a struggle and hard and you were there for that time because you were suppose to be.

Wake Up and Repeat

I was sitting and sipping my coffee this morning in somewhat of a controlled environment. Boys glued to Saturday morning TV, David and Emily still snoozing, and Eddie in a time-out for going potty on the floor (thank God for hardwood floors)

I took out some cookbooks and began to look over recipes's for Easter Breakfast. Tears began to surface as I sat and read the recipe's of many, many, many years past. I actually looked to see the date this cookbook came out (1992). In 1992 I only had two children. They were both 3 & 5 and life was getting so easy with little people getting bigger. I purchased this cook book 18 Easter's ago. It was a gift to myself. "The Summer Cookbook" by Susan Branch. It was a time of motherhood when the kids were no longer in high need of me and I decided to make an Easter brunch. Now sitting this morning I pull out this cookbook, the very same one and began to look at recipe's for Easter breakfast.

The boys are now at an age where taking the time to dedicate to a delicate recipe is available. I often say my life is like that movie "Ground Hog Day". Wake up and repeat. Raising kids is a wake up and repeat kind of life. This morning, realizing that once again it is the same wake up and repeat eighteen years later just brings me emotions to the surface because I really do embrace and love that I get those wake up and repeat days. I learn more that I am a creature of habit, otherwise those wake up and repeat days would not look and feel so familiar.

I am excited to be making the following:
Potato Pie
Crab Cakes
Blueberry Bread Pudding

And a few other extra's. Thanks Lord Jesus that each year at this time we can ponder the life you lived, walking this earth and then dying for this sinful world. Your life was not a wake up and repeat kind of life. You lived out your call from God and now you watch as our lives unfold with service and love to you the Holy One. Thanks that each year we recognize You. So as I wake up and repeat Easter may it be a day not just of yummy treats and breakfast, but a reminder of your Grand Resurection!!!

Writing about another life I once had...

It is very hard to bring my past into this blog. It's a huge part of my life I can't be real about and yet it's that part of my life that shaped and molded me. It's that part of my life. the better part of 17 years, that God found favor and blesses me today. I can not be open with my heart and I am a very open person.

Last summer I was made aware that my ex husband's wife reads my blog. I don't fault her for that at all. It's a public blog to those who find me. She communicated with one of my kids that I would be dealt with if I did not take something down that I had written. I referred to a part of my "past", not mentioning names, not mentioning dates on the calendar. That specific "past" could have been anyone yet she chose to decide it was my ex and she was wrong it was not. I was careful not to mention names or dates, but it was the event that God had worked in my life. I did not take down the post.

Life happens to us. We all have pasts that have affected us. I write not thinking that an ex's wife will be reading. I often write as God has pressed on my heart something that could benefit another and bring that one person into a better understanding of God's grace, mercy, and amazingness.

I spoke at our ladies event last winter and spoke on a life of hurt and guess what, part of that time in my life was my first marriage. Unfortunately to many of us can write on that one topic. In that first marriage we were both not so nice people. Goodness if we were nice people we'd most likely still be married. In sharing that time of pain in my life I have been blessed to come alongside and encourage others in their walk with Jesus. I have been able to help others put the pieces of a broken marriage together with the hope of staying married. My intentions were never to be in a really hurtful marriage. Nor to bring a shadow onto the character of another. Marriage's don't break down because of one person it takes two.

I am sharing this today because my son listened to the CD of me sharing my story and truly it's a story of God's interventions into my heart. He said that people need to hear this story. And yet, do I pause because one person may not want to know the past of an ex-wife. I don't know the person I was married to almost ten years ago. Perhaps he is prince charming, walking closely with God, and loving another woman like he could never love me. All very good things, but as my heart has prayed this past week I am going to share some things that I have learned and grown from. Will it reference my first marriage? Most likely. Will it be more of my part and how God has shown me how to love and live in a healthy marriage today? I will do my best.

There are many marriages on the edge of separation and divorce. I wish I had someone to hold my hand and help me along, but I did not have that because I posed to have a perfect marriage in public. Behind closed doors that first marriage was very different and if you are hurting in a marriage I want to encourage and come alongside to offer hope that comes with Jesus taking over.

So, if you are reading this and are offended by some of my personal experiences, please know that I do my best to not use names, dates and times and not every bad thing is my past was a result of my ex. My failed marriage is not a result of what he did or did not do. It's about how I failed to know how to handle myself in situations that required me to depend on God. So as I write about another life I once had I pray that those who read will be encouraged.