Thoughts on Christmas

When I was a young girl Christmas was a very sad time of year for me.  I often would go into my own little world of celebration.  My birthday comes a few days before and between the two I knew I had to make the best of my situation.  It was not uncommon for my birthday to fall during the classroom Christmas parties. (December 21st).  One year I chose not to eat my cupcake, but to save it.  Later that evening, in my bedroom, I gathered my ragged little dolly and played birthday party. I ate my crumbled cupcake alone.  To this day that was the best birthday party I ever had as a child.

I always knew that when I was a grown up with kids of my own I would do everything I knew how to make their birthdays  and Christmas very special.  So as I sit and ponder last evening, this morning and Christmas's past and I feel very blessed.  I am blessed that our awful pasts do not dictate an awful future.  I am blessed by the Christ child who reminds me of His humble beginnings and still changed the world.  I may not be able to change the world, but through the grace of our Lord Jesus I can change my future for the better and create memories that my children can look back on and say with a smile "remember when".

It's not about the amazing presents, or the dollars spent. It's about taking time (three times this year) to read over Luke 2, to act it out, and rehearse our lines.  To roll over in laughter at the silliness and song added. To watch the videos and laugh even more.  To sit around the table and share our family with others because we are blessed and want to share our blessings with others.  Its that feeling of being safe in each other's space because we share an understanding of the value and importance of our family and all those who join in.

I still go to a quiet place on my birthday. I pray and thank God for my life today, and thank Him for that small voice inside me that can remember where I came from. A crumbled cupcake in my pocket, no presents or even a tree.  I thank God for my imagination as a child to dream about  what Christmas could be like, and looking into the windows of my home today, thankful of that dream being a reality.

I have to give glory where glory is due and that is to God.  My life would be shambles, a mess, and a half and yet here I am in the quiet of my home embracing who Jesus is today.  Seek to know Him, and your life will be changed.  Merry Christmas!!!!

Intentions

This past week it's been fun having the entire family under one roof. LITERALLY!!! All this snow, ice, and inclement weather has all of us hanging around the house. Our family dynamic changes with the older children home, and I love the deep conversations over what it means for each of us as we walk closely to Christ.

Yesterday there was a break in the weather and our day was spent getting all that was needed to be done this week completed in one day. Shopping, post office, bank, more shopping, music practices, meetings, back to the mall, all of three visits to the mall ending with a late night dessert at the Cheese Factory.

While at the mall I waited for the elevator to stop with all four boys. A woman got off and as she was walking she caught her foot on the corner of my stroller. I tried to back up to make more room, but that was not enough for her to catch her foot. She did not stumble or trip. However her response got me thinking. She said to me... "what the hell did you do that for?" ... she then looked at her daughter who looked about ten years old and said "people are such idiots".

I thought to myself how sad this woman's day or moment might be to think that my intentions were to do her any harm, or to trip her. It got the me thinking and talking a little with my older children. It reminded me of a conversation shared with my Bible study group this past fall. The discussion of how we love, show kindness, and care for people. As Christians we all have many different levels of understanding of who God is in our lives. Who we are to be in Jesus. Who we are called to be.

Can we look past the moment and think of the intentions of the person who may have offended. I did not take offense to this strangers reaction to me. I just smiled and I said I am so sorry. Which did little for her mood. But how could I get upset or grumble over her reaction to me? Was her intention to verbally hurt a stranger. Perhaps yes, or more likely her spirit was already grumbling over the issues in her own life.

When I feel hurt or offended by my loved ones I have to take a step back and think...was it the intention of that person to hurt me? Who am I to be in the harder situations in my life when someone offends me? Miscommunication, misunderstandings, and lack of communication can lead down paths of discontent among family, friends and even strangers. I am reminded of these verses from James...

James 3:13
Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

James 3:17
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

I read these verses and see no disclaimers for walking with Godly wisdom. What I mean is the underlying acts of being the victim in your life, bitterness, jealous, hard life and so on. We are all as lovers and followers of Jesus called to behaviors that the Bible clearly defines. Are you able to roll back from a situation and do some sober estimating of your own life? How are you responding or reacting to the ill intentions of others? Is your life so self-centered that it is all about you? That you are easily rattled, like this woman when someone steps into your path?

I was frazzled, after several hours in the mall, and four boys in tow. As I was going outside to the car Eric ran into the street and I was frustrated and said something that made Elliot look at me and say that hurt my feelings. I said "Elliot it's so hard when you are home, the boys are out of control". My intention was not to hurt Elliot, but I did. I appreciate that in the moment he could tell me and I could hear his heart. What I meant was that his brother's are so very excited to be with him, in his space that they lose sight of all senses and run circles around him, which put Eric in harms way. My intentions were not to hurt Elliot. I had to ponder in the moment "gentle" "reasonable" and together Elliot and I were done with that moment. He knew my intent was not to hurt him.

In the next two weeks our schedules will be changing up for the Christmas season., our lives will have family or friends that are not in our spaces to often. Not always knowing what our intentions are, but clearly there will be hurts and wounds that are not yet healed from years past. Reflect on the words from James 3. Wrap them around your heart and ask God to give wisdom in these areas. Have mercy and take no offense to those who may hurt you. If you are loving God and pressing forward with good intentions He will take care of the rest.

Love, Peace, Joy to all this Christmas Season

Let it Snow...

There is something about snow that puts a brrrr cold smile on everyone. Warm pants, coats, and mittens make for a wonderful time of play in a winter wonderland.

It also brings everyone together around the dinner table with hearty appetites. I love having all the kids home. I typically do not expect Elliot and Emily home much, as they are out with friends and catching up with them. So this snow has all of us home, playing, Christmas music playing in the back round of wrestling, baking, and all home. I imagine if we had a horse drawn carriage it would be different and we'd be out in that.

Thanks Lord Jesus for the beauty of snow. Prayers for those who have no power, who have no shelter, and for those who are lost and lonely. May they find hope in those who come along side to offer love and warmth. Blessings.

Just a few thoughts for today

I have been busy around the house doing some projects that I have wanted to work on since we moved in. I am going to have a houseful come this Saturday and why I decide to do these kinds of projects is beyond me. I guess kind of like a baby is coming. And then I think that truly a baby is coming.

I start talking with the boys about a baby being born this Christmas and it's going to be Jesus. We talk about the celebration that reminds us of Jesus being born. What can we do to prepare for this celebration. Ethan wanted to set up the broken nativity. Baby Jesus had his hand broke off, one foot and each shepherd, king, and animal is missing at least part of them. Most parents would put such a treasure up high away from little hands. This nativity has been around for many years. Each child pausing to play, for only a moment, to talk quietly about the story of Jesus birth. They each have reenacted the story over and over. Every once in a while I will hear an oops and then little broken pieces are mended as best as possible. It's baby Jesus time.

I have a dear friend who is not a Christian. She shared with me this week that she wants her boys to know God, she wants to come to church with me, and she is trying to understand the real story of the nativity so she can share with her boys. She said they are going to have a Birthday cake for Jesus. My heart was so touched and blessed by her because in a world that offers little hope, I have a dear friend finding new hope this Christmas season new hope in the baby Jesus. She asked if she needed to call the church to make a reservation, or call to let them know she is coming. This Christmas season there will be lots to do, people to see, cookies to bake and eat and parties to attend. There will be houses decorated and projects rolled out. Look beyond all stores, the marketing, the weirdness of family and friends and remember this....

Luke 2:11
"...for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior who is Christ the Lord"

So as I continue to work through the projects around the house I am embracing the celebration of remembrance. A celebration of the birth of Christ the Lord. Be blessed in this Hope we have. This "good news" of "great joy" which will be for "all the people" (vs. 10)