My Heart

My heart has been very heavy the past 24 hours.  Prayerfully asking God what my part is when others have issues in their lives that I am not responsible for or able to ever control.  I think that when we/I (women who mentor other women) meet with a number of women on a regular basis, there is this assumption that we/I am a "Godly Woman" which I embrace and value.  However "Godly Woman" does not ever mean that I can take your hand and lead you out of the sin in your life. Sin is sin. we all know this and I have issues in my life that God exposes in me. I am working on those things daily.  I have people in my life who hold me accountable, but it is not their job to place handcuffs on me and walk side by side keeping me out of trouble. God gives me a clear picture of what is right and wrong, and it is my decision which direction I choose and my responsibility.

My heart hurts when I see decisions being made that will have a lasting impact on lives and the life of  families, spouses, friendships. Perhaps that hurting heart comes from having walked in similar shoes.  I can come alongside and give solid Biblical guidance, but I can not take your hand and lead you out of that sin.  That is your decision and choice. I can throw you the rope, and I will get down on my tummy and reach down to grab you, but if you don't take the rope, or reach your grip into mine I am only to pray for you, and offer the best guidance I can.

Twice this past year, I have been blamed and attacked for my lack of coming alongside and doing the right thing.  What is the right thing to do when the sin is being walked in and around by another?  To confront, ask questions and pray?  If that person continues to walk in that sin, to gather with another sister in Christ to ask that you walk away from those temptations of sin? That would be the best intentions and Biblical what we are called to do.

Often I am not aware of all in your community, and if church has not been a regular event in your life, I am not always sure who to bring in and alongside. I do know this. I am praying women. I am praying hard for you, and the path of destruction you are on.  Who are you?  You are anybody.  You are me. About fifteen years ago I shared a situation in my life with a very strong mentor who was regularly in my life   She prayed with me and I already knew all the Christian-ease, but I did not have ears to hear it. Sometimes when in the depths of some deep sin, we don't have ears to hear, even if the words are being spoken.  I may speak words of truth, but if you don't have ears to hear, I can not be held responsible for the sin and disasters in your life. If you do hear the words of truth spoken and still make choices apart from Christ there will be consequences to that sin in your life.  

For those of you who mentor others, speaking and pouring the life of biblical truth, it's important to keep your heart in check.  To know that God is using you in the good the bad and the ugly.  I know you are not perfect, but God is perfecting you. I know that I am not perfect, and God is also perfecting his will, guidance, and grace in my life.  We may not be able to reach everyone, and if after we have poured into someone, with the best of what we have, at the end of the day our best, may not have been the expectation of best put on us. 

God calls us to love, and if a brother or sister falls, we are to love them like an unsaved person, which comes full circle because we are called to love the broken.  The broken may not love you back, and Jesus certainly breathes His life into the unbroken and into me.  May the God who teaches us to love, live in our hearts as we pour into the people we love. Love and Blessings, Elizabeth

Parents and Mentors

Dear Parents and Mentors to Young People (18+) And Growing Up,

Our kids are going to grow up. Those kids who sit in our homes processing big life decisions. In that growing up period we need to be there for them when they want us to be. We need to know when to fade in and fade out. We can not hold them captive to the secrets of their past.   In our attempts to try and control them, it only reveals our own insecurities.  If we have done a good job, they truly do hold God close to their hearts and seek His will not our will.

Our hands, our hearts and our homes must remain open with no strings attached.  They will begin to grow their confidences apart from us. They will view the world different than we ever did, and in that view we can embrace them, listen to them, and show up when asked.  It is not our job to always impart our amazing life experiences and wisdom. It is our part to teach them and guide them through important decisions when asked using Biblical and sound guidance. It is our job to teach confidence in their decisions, a boldness in Christ and most important a dependence on Christ and not us.  This is not parenting advice, or a "this is how you do it"
,this is an attempt to wake up those who need to have these young people in your life for no other purpose than your own agenda's. Your own insecurities that are soothed by the need a young person places on you.  Then when that young person grows into his or her own, we clammer and try to hold on tightly. Tightening the strings that are there, yet so many don't want to admit they are there.

Continue to pour into these young lives.  Continue to invite and embrace.  These young people owe us nothing.  As they strengthen, become more confident and bolder and let go, they come on their own.  They continue to show up and those relationships are beautiful and pure.  They walk up your drive unexpectedly and ask for some time to chat.  They sit around your kitchen counter and want to bring their friends along too.  They begin to speak in ways that as you wash the dishes with your back to them, you smile, even drop a few tears because you know your job is done and there is a life long friendship.

And then things do change. They begin to invite you in.  They want you there for important events, and a coffee date to catch up, a hug in passing and an embrace that says this.  I love you so much for allowing me to grow up under your care and mentoring.  They grow up into independent and amazing people.   

Count your blessings that they chose you to walk close for a season. Count your blessings that they are confident and bold and walk closely to Christ.  And if they don't continue to pray when there is a parting.  Sometimes we speak truth and they will run away fast.  Sometimes our own imperfections are going to distract because sometimes those whom we parent or mentor hold us to standards that we are not able to meet.  That is okay too.  When you know your heart, your intentions God takes care of those times too.


Encouraging both my sisters and brothers in Christ who are blessed to have young people coming around often.  YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!

Mentoring

As of late I have had that nasty dragging cold. The one that fills your head, weights you down and then when you think you might be feeling better after a terrific night sleep you still have that groggy foggy feeling. At first I thought it must be the gray day. Clouds, hues of gray through the fog, but then I came indoors and it followed me. I have to remind myself that this soon shall pass. In times like these it just feels that it is going to be my new normal.  My normal is not this at all.  I just loaded a video on YouTube and did not even realize it was sideways until now and I am too foggy to figure out how to change it.

I have been pondering for many days now the challenges of being a "mentor" type person.  I got an email from yet another sweet gal wanting me to come alongside and mentor her. My heart leaped with joy over this gal.  She loves the Lord. She is growing and gleaning hope from God's word. She has a disposition that is so easy to be around. I had been praying for her this past week. She was in my home a couple of weeks  ago and when she left I just smiled and prayed God would begin to challenge her to step out of her comfort zone.  And He is and she asked me to come alongside in some of this stepping out.

So what exactly is the challenge.  It's not a challenge when I see women desiring to grow in Christ. Yearning to know Him more, walking closely with Him, and my job is simply to come alongside and encourage that in all aspects of life. I don't have great words of wisdom, but in most cases I know where to go for that wisdom, and if I don't I can generally find that wisdom. All spelled out in the Bible.  I am no saint.  I sometimes I say a swear word and hope no one heard it. I have opinions and ideas about life, and have to guard my heart to not impart my own opinions, but to impart Godly, Biblical, Sound wisdom.

So what exactly is the challenge?  The challenge is when there is no moving forward in how one relates to God, grows in His wisdom and words.  The challenge is resistance to submitting to His Word, and then trying to find the right words to express the beauty and joy in walking with Him. Is that challenge for you as well when sharing the wonders and amazing of walking with Jesus?  Our habits govern us and if your habit is not about Jesus, then to begin building those habits is what I find the first order of mentoring. It's not enough to just show up, and have a wonderful coffee date. I want everyone whom I come alongside with to be dependent on the joy in walking with Jesus. To be encouraged in doing this in all aspects of life. Sometimes the lines get blurred in mentoring, but I want others to see my life, even if it's sitting around my kitchen counter around 6:00pm when it is crazy. Am I still holding the hand of Jesus?  What does Elizabeth's life look like in the midst of that crazy?  When tragic moments come my way, am I still holding the hand of Jesus?  When there is a song that makes me cry, am I still holding the hand of Jesus?  As others look to me for wisdom, guidance and encouragement I pray they see this crazy, disorganized mom, throwing food across the counters and tables to a house of six conversations at once,  that true joy in my life, that woman who is holding the hand of Jesus in all I say and do.  Inspiring others to do the same.

It is a challenge and one that I will continue to ponder.  I have met some amazing people in my life, and sat with this lovely who is doing life with many young people as well.  Have we become the older women that Titus 2 speaks of:

Titus 2:3-5

 "Likewise, teach the older (me) women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

My commentary then reads:

"In keeping with the theme of good works, older women are not to engage in evil practices like slander, gossip, or drunkenness; instead, they are to teach the younger women.  They are to give encouragement through advice.  Older women are to pass on their insights to their younger counterparts, love their husbands, obedient to their husbands, teaching the younger women that their actions would glorify God, build his Kingdom and strengthen the family."

I can only do this, as I engage in the habit of walking closely with God.  Some have walked closely with me for many months and years and then slowly they faded into their busy lives.  That will be my next post and pondering on living life as an older woman of God.  I pray Lord Jesus that the challenges of those whom I mentor would be overcome by your Divine Interventions into all our lives as we live out the habits of knowing and loving you.  elizabeth