Can You Hanlde the "NO"?

Handling the response or in some cases the reaction from someone is hard.

I remember a few years back, Emily was going to step out and do something that was going to be hard. She had heard many stories over why she should not pursue this dream, a dream God had placed on her heart. She came to me to ask if she should pursue this, or just let it go. In pursuing this she had to go to some leaders in our church and state her desires. Kind of scary for a young 18 year old. My question, after she layed out the plan was simply this..."can you handle a "no"?" She thought about it and decided that she could handle the "no". Pursued her dream and actually got a "yes".

How do we handle the response from another when it is not in our favor? How do we handle one's reactions to a difficult situation. This post comes from a conversation I had at my kitchen counter by a young girl wanting to pursue some grown-up dreams. She asked me, much in the same way Emily did a few years back, how to go about it. I asked her the similar question..."can you handle the reaction, those you love will have?"? Thinking through the various responses and realizing that she could.

Have you ever been asked to be completely honest with your feelings about a situation and when you are honest the other person reacts in a less than favorable way. Leaving you feeling empty, frustrated, more at a loss, and overwhelmed. Often it's the very thing that shuts us down from expressing what is truly our heart on many matters.

I think it's easy to forget that others have deep issues too. Others are going to be using a filter which differs from our own. Sadly it's taking me the better part of my 30's to learn that I can not be responsible for the other person's feeling and yet we take responsibility when we see the reactions of another. Often that reaction changes what we first thought was a good plan, idea, thought etc.

If Emily did get a "no" in that situation, would that have been reason to stop pursuing her dreams? Absolutely not, it may have just meant that at that time there was not the need or vision for the same. Emily does not have to take that "no" as a defined and clear message from God.

If your intentions are Godly, know that God knows your heart. If your intentions have ulterior motives, are not covered in prayer, and are self-seeking the results can be a catastrophe. You can only know this. Do not be fooled by the world into believing that your intentions are just that well-intended.

I love this passage:
Psalms 3:3-6
Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

If you face a difficult situation, involving another, requiring a conversation, and you fear that meeting. Reflect on this passage. Pray over your own heart, and the heart of the other and be prepared for what the response or reaction may be. Can you handle it? Are you ready for it? If you are covering yourself and the situation in prayer God promises in this passage what? "you will find favor and good repute" and "He will make your paths straight".

What is important is that you can not know, or understand the response of the other. God does know and He will give you what you need. So the answer should be YES I can handle the "no". Why? Because I know I have gone to Him first, acknowledge Him and trust what His promises are true and real in my life.

Blessings as we all do life embracing God first and letting Him cover the rest.