It is 2:00am and my heart is heavy. I just toss and turn in bed and go over the details of events and ask God who I am to be in this situation. I reflect on the many positives things going on in my life and ask why this one situation is taking up the wee hours of the night, my heart,and my brain space. This is a time for comfortable slumber, sleep and rest.
I decided to walk downstairs and open my Bible and my journal. What words of comfort would God have for me. I have none of my own. I just know that until I am comforted there will be no sleep for me. I write in my journal:
"Dear Lord Jesus, hold my hand, comfort my heart. Do not let me distracted, show me who to be. Help me not to breed any bitterness, but to show grace, love and joy."
Do you ever have one of those moments where you begin to search scripture and say okay God, I have no words for my own process and really need you to just show me the way.
Psalm 91:10-11
"No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. For He will give His angels charge concerning you. To gaurd you in your ways."
Wow!!! I think the plague I could have had was just prayed over...bitterness. It is a serious plague and that tent is my heart. I do believe the comfort to my heart was just answered. And He is faithful to my cries in the night. God truly knows my heart, my intentions, my process. I woke up the next morning (yesterday) and had to share with anyone who would listen how God met me at 2:00am. Some close to me know the situation I speak of so the meaning was that much more powerful. But this is not about the situation. This is about understanding and knowing that God has got me covered. I am being gaurded. The day unfolded with so much joy and so many blessings. The Holy Spirit intervines when we ask.
I met up with my cousin over coffee last evening. She shared a simular story. As she spoke tears filled my eyes. She was just beginning to understand who God might be in her life. She was not sure if she really believed. So she decided to test the waters and prayed a very specific prayer and guess what, it was answered. She is a sweetheart. God knows the intentions of our hearts to know Him we must come to Him, the big and the small stuff. He shows up 24/7. Do we show up when we need to? I don't want to make 2:00am a regular date with God, but in my time of confusion He met me there.
such a good post, e, and something i too am working on! so glad to have had you in my life for 5 years as a mentor mom and dear friend...
ReplyDeleteOnce again you humble me Elizabeth. I was not up at 2 in the morning, but the Lord has truly been speaking the last few weeks. May we all be as watchful as you and listen when He needs us to.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being vulnerable. It is so good for us to examine ourselves. I have found that when I can't get over something... it means I need to press into the Lord... Thanks for being a good - godly example to follow.
ReplyDeleteYou are on my heart and mind. I miss you!
Yes I've had many of these nights. I sometimes ask God "why did You have to make all this so hard?" I think God doesn't care what time you seek Him, even if it's 2am. I'm praying for peace for you.
ReplyDeleteUgh, isn't it just irritating that our precious hours of sleep are interrupted by these troubles? Good for you that you got up and allowed God to deal with it in His very peaceful way!
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