Grumbling into His Presence

Do you ever read something in a book and just sit an awe of the author? Pehaps pull out your journal and copy word for word what the author wrote? Even say something like...this is exactly what I would have said or written, or these are the very words I needed. I love reading and I love reading the words of another that inspire, touch, and move my heart.

This morning was really an easy morning except for the fact I had a stiff neck from a long night's sleep. I decided to take the boys to early service and let my husband sleep in. I had a busy day yesterday and he held down the fort, so in my amazinging wifeness I did not bother him, just let him snooze. Off we went to church.

Upon hitting the parking lot my heart sunk. We were far away from the church and they already had the bright vested man directing traffic away from the building which was already a good two blocks away. I rolled my window and asked if I could drop my family off and Emily agreed to hold down the kids while I parked the car. I grumbled. I mean seriously if I had not dropped everyone off I would have just gone back home and picked up another service later in the day. Grumble, grumble. I parked almost at the front of the complex which is furthest from the church. It took me five minutes to walk with my 20 pound Bible and stiff neck.

I did not get seated in the main gathering place because it was full and I have to admit I REBEL watching a service via "video venue". Kids in classes and there I sit in the video venue. Emily offered to go and get me a cup of coffee. I love the discernment of a child. Although it did not take much to know that mom was flustered. So I sat, sipping my coffee and praying that somehow I could hear a Word from God in my grumbling. I opened my Bible to the text being taught from and then was lost in my journaling and reading. I do not have to go to church to meet God. I do need to clear my mind, my heart, and my soul as not to hinder my connection to Him. The events leading up to sitting down really stirred some energy and I just journaled and asked God to stir that energy towards Him.

Nehemiah 1:5-6a

"O Lord, God of heaven, the great awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to bear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel..."

And it there I paused and copyed this passage into my journal. I replaced Israel with the city of Portland and felt this grumbling weight lifted. I did not have the words to express my heart but Nehemiah shared his. In going to the Word of God truth is laid out over and over for me.

It was then the message of this morning transformed my grumbling heart and I can sit and only scratch the surface of how my heart was blessed this morning. Even in our grumblings when we pause to seek Him, He will intervine on our mood and extend more of Himself.

Did I have to slug back several blocks to the car with all kids in tow and a hint of rain. Yes I did, but my steps were less heavy and my heart is brought a glimse closer to a greater understanding of His purpose and plan for my life. More to come on that later. When God steps in and bless's my heart I must give Him glory, honor and most important praise. Praise you Jesus for knowing the condition of my heart and providing the words of another to show me more of you.