Have you ever been a part of something that was quite hurtful by another.? I think we can all pretty much raise our hands. I think for me the most hurtful times are when I have been lied to or deceived. And then when truth is discovered and you go to the person it's blown off as something of a thoughtless act or worse "I was just joking...really".
Today in my daily Proverbs reading I landed on Provers 26: 18 & 19 which reads:
" Like a madman who throws fire bands, arrow and death,
So is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, "Was I not joking?"
Meaning as referenced in the Bible as simply this:
The person who makes a joke of his thoughtlessness is a dangerous person to be around.
As I got thinking about this one verse I was reminded of a recent situation with my daughter about a person who made her very uncomfortable. To the point she discussed it with David and me. We were concerned and this person was addressed concerning their behavior. To which the response was.....ahhhh I am just joking. Even more frustrating and dangerous if you ask me. So to read this verse I thought of how I respond when I have been thoughtless. Do I excuse my behavior or do I own the part I have had.
Any time our actions have disturbed another do we explain away our behaviors or do we accept that we have hurt someone? Own it and take responsibility whether we believe we are right or wrong. The danger in our relationships is to allow and keep the facade that every thing is okay when in fact there is danger in that person, that friendship that thoughtlessness of one who does not own it with humility, but passe's it off as some sort of joke.
I have had to walk away from those whom I know that deceive and are not able to hear truth, not from my own mouth, but through the Word of God. I have said this often and I work every single day as a sinful person to never use the experiences of my life to excuse my behaviors and I realize every day that the Bible has no disclaimers to life experience, temperaments, or all the stuff that is sour in our lives. We are called by Him to walk beside Him. Being honest and honorable. No easy task, but I can first start by being mindful of my actions towards others and believe me this is no joking matter. Those who know me in real time know that I love to laugh, joke around, but never at the cost of deceit and hurting another. I trust those who are close to me to help me stay in line too.
I just love when one little verse weighs so heavy on my heart that I would blog about it.
I'm reading a parenting book and this verse is actually brought up in it. I loved hearing it because my oldest is famous for using the line "I was just kidding." It always irritated me and now I have a verse to teach her biblically why that is not ok. Thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteOne man's joke is another one's pain. It's good to remember that when we say things. I use to be so guilty of that when I was younger until God healed my tongue.
ReplyDeleteFor the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 NIV
ReplyDeleteWow! When one verse can make you blog!
I am quick to own my words, even when taken the wrong way. I wonder...do we ever "not mean" to hurt others with our words, or is there a part of us that is well aware that somehow our words might sting a bit? If I didn't know it when I said it, I usually clue in very quick if I've hurt someone.
ReplyDeleteNow, all this being said, when it comes to some more personal issues, say with husband, I'm better at manipulating my "intent" then I am with others. There's something so "controlling" in my responses to him, and it almost always surrounds the issue of pride and control.
Great thoughts, Elizabeth. I feel as if I've been to confession! Please pray for me this weekend. I've got a speaking "gig" and the enemy has been full throttle this week.
peace~elaine
I agree that saying you are just joking when you have offended someone or made them feel uncomfortable is just not right. It's like minimizing the other person feelings. Also when you put something out there, like this person who made your daughter feel uncomfortable, you must have an inkling that what you are saying may not be all right. It's amazing how people act like they just don't have a clue. It is such a big deal that the verse used in the Bible is pretty much straight to the point. No pretending to not understand it's meaning. As you can see your post really got me thinking.
ReplyDeletePS When my sons will say just joking I always say it's not a joke if everyone doesn't think it's funny.
or perhaps we don't say - just kidding- but shrug our hurtful actions off as if they don't matter- equally as harmful... good words!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, there are plenty of madmen running around on this planet. It's so easy to become desensitized by a secular society.
Great post!
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