Today as I was driving with my three younger boys I thought of a book title for a book I might write. Or I just may blog it here. The title would be "A House Divided-Single Mom"
I am not someone who has ever really studied or read one single piece on what it means to be an author. What I do know is this is what the first page would say. This would be the "Preface" and I do know this much, because I just opened a book sitting on my desk to get the exact name of what you call that page, Preface. The cover would be a house broken in half and kids looking between those cracks. For now I will just start with the preface here:
"Earlier today I was driving in a car with three boys on their day off. Giving them a wonderful day. I have piles of laundry, work for clients, and I really could use a shower. Instead of those things taking priority, today I am doing my best to show up and be super mom. Because for kids it's not what we do, or what we say, it's showing up that makes us super.
I am sad, and sometimes angry over the idea of writing this kind of book. It means, my house is divided. My kids time is divided and for that alone I am sad to be writing this. Two broken marriages, and five kids. All who have had to grow up in homes that were divided by two parents.
Then today, hiking, and laughing with three boys. Pouring into them any nuggets of wisdom when asked the hard questions. Like, "Mom would you stare at the sun for 5 minutes if you could win a million dollars?" Or, "Why is it some people seem to know all the answers, and the exact right way to go." I smiled thinking I was in fact super mom that they would think this of me. Instead they referenced John, a man I have been dating for over a year now. Because he does in fact find answers quickly, and we always get where we are going, and he does not stop and ask questions.
As I am writing, I have had to go and ask one boy to unlock the handcuffs off the younger brother. Screams from the family room, that although are happy and playful, with one bump can turn into a trip to the ER. I want to write. I want to encourage single parents to building better relationships with their children. I have already grown up two children now approaching their late twenties. They tell me, it was "showing up, mom." That is what meant the world to them. They are two of my best friends. The younger boys are also my best friends. Yet all five kids will speak up and boldly say they know the line between friends and mom.
I want to share in each blog post, this next year, some nuggets of wisdom that go beyond looking at the sun for five minutes in exchange for a million dollars. I see the desperation, the struggles, and hardships that single parents face in the houses that are divided. Maybe, just maybe you might find something here that will change the way you parent, the way you interact with your children and learn creative ways to show up in your kid's world. I want this to be a dialogue between you and me and readers who land here. One thing I have learned from blogging and writing for almost ten years is that there are hard things that you would never want to comment on, but you can always contact me via my email.
Another thing you should know is I am not a writer. I am someone who talks, face to face with people. Thus, you WILL see typo's and edits that should have happened before pushing the publish button. Together with families breaking apart, perhaps we can begin putting them back together by raising kids who are willing to fight for their own families someday."
I just looked in on the book on my desk. It has 10 chapters. Looking back over the past years I am going to now come up with an outline for future blogs. Or to present to my publisher. I don't have one, but then it does make me feel for about five seconds like a writer.