It's been seven months since I posted here. I have been paralyzed in my blogging habits. There has been so much change. I would sit down to share my thoughts and realized that no matter how I write I can not mask the simple fact that divorce sucks. Being a single mom sucks and I am in the best possible place and can still say all this. Why?
Divorce simply means two people could not figure out life together. There is much behind that statement. I will not post my laundry here on this matter, nor will I say or do anything to cast a shadow on the father of my children, but who can honestly say, even if for the best, that their divorce was easy. It is not. People get this idea that I am strong and solid and can handle life with fun, grace, savvy and ease. No, I can not, but I am trying. It's hard on kids going back and forth, it's hard wrangling three boys, and homework, and dinner on the table, and yet in all of this kind of hard is it possible to be the happiest I have been in a very long time? I mean really? I am by nature a happy person. With all the changes and new level of hard I am living an outward process of life. Meaning, life has not taken me out and I am present, doing, finding new love, and raising boys to be young men. I love what I see in them and how they are growing.
That all being said, I really am in a very good place. I know many single parents who have a hard, hard life and quite honestly I am very happy. Aside from all the laundry in this house being strewn on both floors of my house, I truly am happier. I think the title of this post, "Living In An Outward State of Processing" simple means that I am sharing my journey, talking about my struggles and even now going to be blogging more. Social Media also makes it quite easy to have outward process.
In that outward process I find that God is showing me more each day how much care he has for my heart. How even the hurts that went unresolved are beginning to surface and as I work through another day of life, releasing to Him the pains of my past I am freeing up space in my heart for bigger things he has for me.
As I begin to write again and share life's journey I hope there is one person reading who is encouraged, inspired and can know the love God has in all the details of our lives.
Love and Blessings, Elizabeth